By Diane M. Grassi
The phrase, the ‘Best Interests of Baseball’ connotes a type of exclusive legislative decision emanating from a wide-ranging power presiding over the game of professional baseball; bequeathed upon its commissioner.
Tag: alex rodriguez
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2010 All-MLB Team
Greatest inventions of all time: the wheel, the camera, Velcro, In-N-Out Burger. Over the last couple years, we can add one more thing to that list; MLB Network. For baseball fans, it is the Mecca of analysis, highlights and coverage. As I sat watching the 2010 Year in Review show yesterday, trying not to throw the remote through the screen as they continually showed those filthy, rotten San Francisco Giants celebrating their World Series victory, I found myself curious as to how they compiled their “All-MLB team.”
First of all, they had to choose just nine position players, one designated hitter, one utility player, one starting pitcher, one reliever and one closer to round out the team. From both leagues combined. Still, they made some…curious choices. In what was such a memorable year for baseball, how do you limit yourself to that tiny roster? So even though it may be more blasphemous than bringing a nun to a strip club, I decided to say, “I can do it better.” I’ve allowed myself a 30-man roster, plus a “backup” starting rotation (give me a break, it was the Year of the Pitcher) in choosing my All-MLB team for 2010:
Hypocrisy is a fashionable vice, and all fashionable vices pass for virtue. -Moliere
I am the proud owner of a blue iPod mini that I received as a Christmas present in 2004. Now every time I use it, I feel like Josh Baskin toiling away on his turn-of-the-century Macintosh. The reason for this being that I’m reluctant to invest in a new iPod until I know for sure that an even better one won’t hit the shelves 40 minutes later.
Similarly, I’ve been biting my tongue on the almost comical sequence of Yankees plights because I know it’s only a matter of time before a new chapter is added to the ever-growing anthology of controversy.
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The Stars are Projectors
It was Nas who once said, “It’s a dirty game, is any man worthy of fame?” You could argue whether or not Nas has ever lived up to the amazing level of potential he exhibited on “Illmatic”, [I kind of want to forget the Escobar era myself] but the brilliance of that line could never be disputed. It is a dirty game. And is any flawed human being really worthy of fame?
Society relishes the defilement of plastic deities. After all, the mob has to feel power over something. Everything else is beyond us… war… the economy… poverty… bailouts… Indignation flies, but it’s fake, and if legitimate, certainly misguided. Flaming pitchforks. Adulation turns poisonous at a moment’s notice. Fame is equal parts a blessing or a burden. It’s complicated, everything is, and we wish it weren’t. So we exercise our defenses, simplify and attack. When the fairy tale doesn’t offer a happy ending, the book is torn to shreds. We find something new to dream on…
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What they really said…
Too many times in sports, we as the fans get a raw deal on what we’re told. We get to hear what the players and coaches have to say, but in a censored version. What they say on TV or in an article isn’t necessarily what they really say behind closed doors.
Lucky for you though, I was able to obtain an all-access pass to last week’s biggest events and happenings in sports (because that’s the kind of thing you can obtain fairly easily when you are a fake journalist). I got to conduct private interviews and attend private tapings under the guise that they wouldn’t be shared with the public. But thanks to my complete lack of any standing credibility, I can share them with you anyway! So for your reading enjoyment, here is the first installment of “What they really said.”
Well, we have survived another year. Many things have changed, but most fire hydrants remain the same, at least where I live. I will be going out and getting drunk on this grand day. When the masses drink, I join. Who am I to question this sweet ritual?
I do not relish being out and about during the holidays. The bar is crowded. The garden variety alcoholic is more apt to throw hands, and why the hell not, it’s a special occasion. Every girl seems to have a boyfriend, and the couples are so damn happy. Bastards. I see bizarre styles, and wonder in vain if I could pull off those funky 2009 shades. No way in hell, I realize, no way in hell. And there’s always this lonely former Army lieutenant named Dan, sitting by himself in a wheelchair, covered in confetti and staring straight ahead, perhaps still lost in the jungle… Maybe he’d feel better if he were wearing a top hat.
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Jose Canseco Has Gone Too Far
Jose Canseco’s latest desperate attempt to sell books has gone too far. Fans and media alike must stop taking the allegations of individuals such as Canseco as absolute truth.
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The Gift and the Curse
“I like songs about drifters – books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
I still haven’t gotten anywhere that I want.”
-Modest Mouse, The World at Large
OK, quiet down for just a second, cease and desist with the anger and indignation. Because I love telling this story, never get tired of it.
It was an unbearably hot afternoon at Yankee Stadium. We’re playing Texas, Juan Dominguez on the mound. Alex Rodriguez is at the plate, in the midst of a phenomenal 2005 season, carrying the team.
By Billy Fellin
The 2007 Yankees season is in the books after the disappointing loss in the ALDS against the Indians. To keep the book analogy going, we may have seen the final chapter in the saga that has been the Yankees under Joe Torre, if George Steinbrenner’s comments hold true that is. There are many questions to be asked when it comes to where the Yankees go from here.
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The MLB April Awards
April baseball may be about as meaningful as the 7th round of the NFL draft (do you really think Ramzee Robinson will have a big impact on the Lions next season?). Still, this opening month of baseball has been quite an eventful one. The Yankees are in last, the Brewers are in first, the Braves have returned, and Barry is back. Here is some hardware for the best (and worst) of April.