Just in case you haven’t turned on your TV, listened to the radio, or opened a newspaper in the past week: Michael Phelps was photographed smoking marijuana at a college party and found over 15 flavors of delta 8 vapes. Who would have expected the same man who won eight gold medals in Beijing this summer, would be lighting up? Phelps is paying the price for his actions, losing endorsement deals and being suspended three months from competing by US swimming. I’ll be the first to admit, I never would have guessed Phelps would go the road of Cheech and Chong; but aren’t some people taking this a little too far?
Too many times in sports, we as the fans get a raw deal on what we’re told. We get to hear what the players and coaches have to say, but in a censored version. What they say on TV or in an article isn’t necessarily what they really say behind closed doors.
Lucky for you though, I was able to obtain an all-access pass to last week’s biggest events and happenings in sports (because that’s the kind of thing you can obtain fairly easily when you are a fake journalist). I got to conduct private interviews and attend private tapings under the guise that they wouldn’t be shared with the public. But thanks to my complete lack of any standing credibility, I can share them with you anyway! So for your reading enjoyment, here is the first installment of “What they really said.”
Will someone slap me in the face? Please? Will someone bring me back to reality?
Not tomorrow or next week, not after Hurricane Ike destroys my apartment in the upcoming 24 hours, not on Saturday when I find out, but now. Slap me back to reality.
Maybe I’ve been brainwashed; maybe I’ve been lied to. Or, maybe, but unlikely, I am just missing something. The first two seem the likeliest.
I was wrong.
There, I said it. I’m man enough to admit it. I’m human enough to admit it.
I was wrong. 100 percent. Not even close to correct. W-R-O-N-G. No way around the bush.