Well, we have survived another year. Many things have changed, but most fire hydrants remain the same, at least where I live. I will be going out and getting drunk on this grand day. When the masses drink, I join. Who am I to question this sweet ritual?
I do not relish being out and about during the holidays. The bar is crowded. The garden variety alcoholic is more apt to throw hands, and why the hell not, it’s a special occasion. Every girl seems to have a boyfriend, and the couples are so damn happy. Bastards. I see bizarre styles, and wonder in vain if I could pull off those funky 2009 shades. No way in hell, I realize, no way in hell. And there’s always this lonely former Army lieutenant named Dan, sitting by himself in a wheelchair, covered in confetti and staring straight ahead, perhaps still lost in the jungle… Maybe he’d feel better if he were wearing a top hat.