NBA General

If I Were…

On the heels of the NBA Draft Lottery, teams are probably starting to rack their brains out trying to position themselves to make the most out of their selections. Fortunately, a know-it-all-like myself has never had a problem giving my two cents on what each lottery team should – or should not – do when the draft night rolls along.

These picks, however, are chosen without consideration to any potential trades. If any trade happens with at least one of these 14 teams, then all bets are off.

So without further ado, here’s my take on what each team’s General Manager should do to strike gold in the draft.


New Orleans Hornets

A Right Kind of Buzz

As one of the biggest New Orleans Hornets fans this side of the Pacific, you can imagine my delight with the success they had this season.

Sure, they didn’t exactly win the championship, but if one looks deeper inside their season-for-the ages then you’d understand why this year will go down as the most successful – and most memorable – season in the franchise’s history.

Houston Rockets

Tainted Legacy

0 for 7.

For all of Tracy Mcgrady’s achievements, this is the one figure that might inevitably define his legacy.

Phoenix Suns

Steve Kerr’s Unnecessary Gamble

If Steve Kerr wants to reap the fruits of his highly controversial trade for Shaquille O’Neal, letting go of Mike D’Antoni is a move he should not, under any circumstances, make.

LA Lakers

Striking Gold

Mitch Kupchak learned a lot from his mentor Jerry West. With the trade of Pau Gasol from the Memphis Grizzlies to the Los Angeles Lakers, you can say that Kupchak also learned the art of fleecing other teams from Jerry West.

For us who weren’t around when West dominated the NBA in the 60’s, the only memory we have of him was his cunning guile and craftiness as the general manager of the Lakers during the late 90’s. After all, he was the one who signed Shaquille O’Neal away from Orlando and duped the then-Charlotte Hornets to trade their 1996 first round draft pick – a tall, skinny high school kid from Philadelphia – for Vlade Divac.

Jerry West made the Lakers a championship contender with those moves. And now – after a history of questionable moves – the apprentice finally made the trade that would make his teacher proud.

Miami Heat

Enter the Matrix

The American Airlines Arena didn’t have a three-story billboard of himself. There weren’t any balloons, water guns, and certainly no black SUV’s with Superman-inspired rims.

What there was, however, was a long table with a requisite Miami Heat backdrop, a few chairs, and a couple of unopened bottled waters.

And that’s about it.

LA Lakers

My Supernatural "Kobe-rage"

The night before I was set to meet Kobe Bryant, I scavenged through old Sports Illustrated magazines to look for whatever tattered poster I could find of Kobe. Fortunately, a late delivery of the July Slam Magazine arrived that morning and, as if through some kismet happenstance, Kobe Bryant was featured on the centerfold.

Boston Celtics

Celtic Pride?

Raise the 17th banner. Map out the parade rout. Carve a shamrock-shaped diamond for the championship rings.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 NBA champions, the Boston Celtics!”

The way the off-season has gone, it’s nothing short of a miracle that the Boston Celtics have somehow turned themselves from laughingstock to championship contenders overnight – and they didn’t even have to rely on ping-pong balls to do it.

When the C’s acquired Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen to join forces with resident Celtics superstar Paul Pierce, Boston – for all intents and purposes – now boasts of a formidable trio the likes of which haven’t been seen since the days of the Bird-McHale-Parish troika.

Beantown must be rejoicing.

They have one of the best shooters in the league in Ray Allen, one of the most underrated superstars in the league in Paul Pierce and one of the top 50 basketball players EVER in Kevin Garnett.

These three have what it takes to go all the way! Who cares about the rest of the roster, right?


New York Knicks

A True Role Model

To an avid basketball fan, the name “Stephon Marbury” usually generates responses along the lines of “he’s a selfish point guard who thinks it’s always about him” or “I wouldn’t want that overpaid bum on my team! All the team’s he got traded out of became contenders!”

All Other Sports

Blacktop Culture

It’s a far cry from the bright lights of the arena. The familiar sight of brightly polished parquet floors and fully loaded box seats are nowhere to be found. In its place is a slab of asphalt and cement blocks posing as bleachers. Everything is different; the bounce of the ball, the sound of a swishing net, and the roar of the crowd.

This is street basketball.