3 Funerals and a Status Quo

For everyone with a weak stomach or weak knees, this is not your entry. Come back when your team makes a great move. You can be sure this is the place for it.

Today, I’m going to be talking some smack about some of the recent hires in the NFL. By the end of it, some of you will wanna kick me in the throat. Some of you will want to rip my fingers off and feed them to the wolves. Some of you will swear up and down and post comments saying that I’m wrong, that I’m a terrible person for thinking so-and-so is going to be bad at his new coaching gig. But I want to say up front, I’m not wishing for them to do badly; it’s just that I think they’re going to be bad, and I think I’m going to be right.

But I make some points, and I’ll give you several reasons why I think the way I do on each of the following topics, and hopefully that will be enough to get you to keep coming back here…
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OPINION #1- MIKE TOMLIN IS GOING TO BE A BIG-TIME BUST AS HEAD COACH OF THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS

What do you really know about Mike Tomlin? You know that he was most recently the Vikings defensive coordinator, and the Vikings were pretty stout against the run last year, but against the Patriots they were chewed up and spit out and booed off stage by the passing game. Tomlin is known for a cover-two defense that he learned from Tony Dungy in 2001. If you remember that Dungy’s last year with the Bucs was 2002, you win a cookie. That means that Dungy had 2 years (maybe) to teach Mike Tomlin how to coordinate that scheme before moving to the Colts. But of course, he’s keeping Defensive Coordinator Dick LeBeau which means he’s going to try to smooth his scheme with LeBeau’s and see if he can make the best of both worlds happen.

The defense is already weak at cornerback (Bryant McFadden and Deshea Townsed, I ask you?), and also needs a defensive end desperately who can provide more of an impact than Brett Keisel. Another starting safety also wouldn’t hurt, nor would true depth behind DT Casey Hampton whom they rely on way too much for someone with such a bad injury history.

On offense, the damage isn’t as bad, but they will be losing two of their top coaches in Russ Grimm and Ken Wisenhunt, which will undoubtably take its toll. The Steelers need a strong running back to help relieve Willie Parker who wore down in the middle of the year. They also will probably face some competition for Max Starks (who will be an RFA garnering a lot of interest from other teams). Cedric Wilson is a terrible wide receiver and probably ought to go (even if he doesn’t), but they won’t cut him because they don’t have a viable candidate to replace him. All of this plus, needing a center because Chuky Okobi doesn’t do enough.

Couple what I just said with the fact that the Steelers traditionally don’t go after a lot of free agents, and I expect that the Steelers are expecting John Fox and Jack Del-Rio to get on the hot seat next year. Then they can offer their job to one of them.

Too much change on a team not used to it for this team to be good next year…Of course, anything can happen in free agency, but with the Steelers organization plan, you know what’s going to happen.

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OPINION #2- CAM CAMERON WILL BE A WORLD-CLASS BUST IN MIAMI

Cam Cameron looks good on paper. After all, he coached LaDanian Tomlinson and Antonio Gates and he helped the offensive line protect Phillip Rivers and Drew Brees, two of the great quarterbacks of the present day. How bad can he be?

The answer: Extremely bad.

Cam Cameron was blessed to have LaDanian Tomlinson and Antonio Gates, two all-world players at their positions. People don’t remember this, but for the longest time (before Gates) the Chargers were looking for another quarterback and floundering on offense. Then Antonio Gates came along, and they became a force. Cam Cameron was not the reason for that. Cam Cameron helped persuade Marty Schotenheimer to move slowly away from Marty-ball, but Marty didn’t relinquish the play calling duties to Cam Cameron, so what good was he really?

Cam Cameron will be moving to a place where he has no quarterback (QB Cullpepper will be out with some injury faster than you can say “Week 8”, QB Harrington is a backup, QB Lemon is an RFA who will draw interest but doens’t really matter because they’re not going anywhere with him). Cam Cameron will be moving to a place where the offensive line is weak at every position except RT Vernon Carey. He will be moving to a place where the number of free agents is going to be overwhelming on both sides of the ball. The great defense is going to get weaker at defensive tackle, and they’re is already pretty weak at second cornerback (opposite Will Allen who is a No. 2 on most teams) and safety opposite RFA Yeremiah Bell (who played pretty well this year and may draw interest). But my god, not even last year’s pick SS Jason Allen cracked the starting lineup. They’re in trouble.

On the surface, the situation looks pretty good, because the Dolphins have WR Chris Chambers, WR Marty Booker, and WR Wes Welker (also an RFA), TE Randy McMichael, RB Ronnie Brown (and maybe RB Ricky Williams), but if you dig a little deeper, serious issues are all across the board. DE Jason Taylor is thinking about retiring. MLB Zach Thomas is getting older and there’s only so long before his body starts to break down. The Dolphins also have 24 free agents ! There are only 52 players on the frickin team! That’s almost half of the team entering free agency.

The Dolphins are a ways away from being successful, and Cameron is going to be judged quickly. It doesn’t help that they play in the AFC East where the NY Jets and New England Patriots seem perched at the top.

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OPINION #3-KEN WISENHUNT AND RUSS GRIM WILL MAYBE RAISE THE CARDINALS TO MEDIOCRITY

The Cardinals have to replace an entire offensive line. That’s right, every position. It’s a good thing they got Russ Grimm. Because LT Leonard Davis is an unrestricted free agent (and you know he’s gone) and the rest of the line couldn’t block traffic if they were standing in a crosswalk.

There’s a reason that Bertrand Berry (the Cardinals All-Pro Defensive End) complained to the press about the defense’s lackluster play. Clancy Pendergrast has a defensive line that gets pressure, an all-world safety (Adrian Wilson) an up and coming cornerback (Antrel Rolle) and pray for rain. In other words, he needs a linebacking corps, a second cornerback, and a free safety.

The reason that the Cardinals might get to 7-9, 8-8, 9-7 is because they play in the weakest division in sports, and they’re set with great pro-bowl talent at the skill positions. QB Matt Leinhart is going to be a stud no matter what’s going on in front of him, which tells you all you need to know that he’s the QB of the future.

But there’s going to be too much rebuilding, never mind that I haven’t addressed the depth issues (of which there are plenty) that are going on with the Cardinals. The Cardinals will have money to spend, and they’ll spend it. Maybe they’ll even become solid, but to bank on the playoffs is wishful thinking.

The problem with the hire of Wisenhunt and Grimm isn’t that they’re necessarily going to be bad, it’s that they’re going to maintain the status quo. What do you think they learned in Pittsburgh? What do you think they studied? They studied how to get the most out of marginally talented players. Now every now and again, you develop a Pro-Bowler (see Alan Faneca) or a stud (see Antwan Randle-El) but more often than not, you’re working with players who aren’t as talented, trying to get to the playoffs instead of winning a Super Bowl. Do you really think these two are that much better than Denny Green? Or do you feel that they’re the same kind of coach? Offensive minds who are trying to take an underachieving team to the playoffs?

Arizona, do you really want to maintain the status quo?

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OPINION #4- IF THE COWBOYS HIRE JASON GARRETT TO BE THEIR NEXT HEAD COACH OR OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR, THEY’LL FINISH BETWEEN 4 AND 7 WINS, MISS THE PLAYOFFS, AND BE ON THE WAY DOWNWARD.

Memo to Jerry Jones: Did you miss seeing Eli Manning this year? Did you see how ridiculous the NY Giants were at the end of the year Mr. Jones? Has Jason Garrett ever done anything as a Quarterbacks Coach to make you think that he’s ready to be a head coach? Has anyone he’s ever tutored gone on to be a great quarterback? How about the receivers do they rave about working with Jason Garrett?

He was a great backup Quarterback when playing behind Troy Aikman, no doubt.

But hiring Jason Garrett to be the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys is like asking Terrell Owens to be the leader of your team. You know that T.O. is going to dismiss anything Garrett says, you know that Garrett doesn’t know the first thing about coaching an offensive line or game planning. He’s a quarterbacks coach and not even one who has studied under a great offense. He has never coached any player to be better than he actually is. Everything that the Giants do on offense that doesn’t include the words Tiki Barber is usually wishful thinking. For that matter, your offensive coordinator (Tony Sporano) is more qualified to be head coach than Jason Garrett.

If you hire Jason Garrett to be your next head coach, the Eagles, Redskins, and Giants will have a field day kicking your team to 0-6 before the season starts.

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CONCLUSION:

You’re looking at 3 funerals and a status quo. These moves are going to be bad moves and they’re going to set their organizations back. You won’t hear a lot about them from Mike & Mike, Dan Patrick, or Colin Cowheard because they don’t want to alienate their audiences. They want to seem like they’re fans of the Steelers (in case they decide to spend a lot of money and fill their holes and Rothlesberger comes on like gangbusters). They want to seem like they like the Dolphins (because everyone thinks Culpepper will recreate that 4,000 yard season). They want the Cardinals to do well and the Cowboys are America’s team.

But look at them for a moment without the rose colored glasses, look at these four teams and tell me that you couldn’t do a better job as a fan running the organizations.