Please Tell Me That Was A Joke

For the past three days, I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me that it was all a cruel joke.

I have never been so disgusted with the way my team played that I would write an entire article about it.

But then again, I never though that any team in any situation could play as pathetically lousy in every aspect of the game as the University of Florida did on Saturday at Alabama.Sure, they did drive down the field a couple of times and almost scored. And sure, they did force Alabama to punt once or twice. But what else? What did they do right? What did they not do wrong?

For the entire game, the team tackled like the Alabama players were hot coal. They tried to strip the ball. They slipped when the Alabama players stood still. They wrapped up and let go. Three good tackles. And a bunch of “How did you not do that an hour ago?” tackles.

For the entire game, Chris Leak threw errant passes. And for the entire game, the moron blamed his receivers. Ok, when he finally started throwing good passes late in the third quarter, his receivers dropped them, but were his receivers to blame when he through it over the middle of the field into triple coverage god knows how many times, including the first two plays of the game!

For the entire game, Chris Leak looked clueless. Every time he called an audible, the defense read it like a Harry Potter book. Well, maybe not Harry Potter. Chris Leak is too mentally retarded to understand Harry Potter. Plus, Leak always seemed to run the same three or four pass plays and throw to the same receiver. I did not see the stats, but I can tell you that I counted seven times that he threw to the slant receiver on the right side when he cut in eight yards down the field. It is not hard to triple team when you know what play is coming.

For the entire game, Alabama was able to burn the Florida secondary. Whether it was the corners or safeties who missed coverage, Alabama took advantage. Look at the first play: an 87-yard touchdown pass. They ran that exact same play four times, scoring three touchdowns and getting a huge first down the other time. And each time the safety let the receiver through.

And speaking of blown coverage, look at the play midway through the fourth quarter that broke Tyrone Protho’s leg. The cornerback blew the coverage and instead of playing the ball, he jumped and tried to tackle Protho. Protho came down at a weird angle and shattered his leg and is done for the season.

When you do your job wrong, somebody gets injured. Usually it is not you, but you are still responsible. The entire defensive coaching staff, from the defensive coordinators (Charlie Strong and Greg Mattison), to the cornerbacks’ coach (Chuck Heater), to the safeties’ coach (“Doc” Holliday), did not do its job. These coaches did not have their players prepared and made no adjustments at halftime whether with personnel or with firing their players up.

And it ended a player’s season and maybe his livelihood.

You guys fucked up not only the game but also the life of another human being. You did not adjust and did not change your personnel.

Sure, the first and second string players fucking up are better than the third stringers, but at least the third stringers might have been able to do something right.

You were down by 28 with time running down. It is better to concede when your players are not playing football than to keep them in and let them break someone’s leg.

Chris Leak might have been a moron and the linebackers might have missed 674 or so tackles, but it was the coaching staff that has left me disgusted.

Leak should have been benched at halftime and the entire defense should have been sat.

Hell, Florida would have been better served to just forfeit in the fourth quarter.

You don’t keep your guys out there when they are doing things wrong. That is how someone gets seriously injured. I would rather a team run up the score than play players who are not playing the game correctly.

Every serious or semi-serious injury I witnessed as a wrestler was caused by the other person doing a move wrong or illegally. I never saw a serious injury when someone did a move correctly.

And somewhere in the sixty minutes of tackling incorrectly or defending incorrectly I’m sure Meyer or one of the idiots underneath him realized something. But they did nothing.

I’m sure Protho would agree with me.

“I don’t know why we weren’t prepared,” Meyer said. “I can’t answer that question.”

I can tell you why: You and your staff did not do your job. That is the only reason you would not be prepared.

This comment only makes me more awestruck at the despicable excuse for football the University of Florida claims that it played on Saturday.

And I’m sure Protho would agree with me.