Ahhhhhhhhhhh. We can finally relax knowing the calming feeling of our College Football season is with us. It’s like our pillow, very comforting, even more so if you reside in or around the Tuscaloosa or Columbus area and very UN-comforting if you’re in the booming Metropolis of Boise (we’ll get to that later.) These past two weeks have literally taught us nothing and at the same time taught us nothing; wait. Didn’t I already say that? It sounds funny but we have honestly learned nothing while getting Xed and Oed at the same time like we’re on Rex Ryan’s JV squad from Hard Knocks. I feel like I should be ranting a testimonial into the camera (looking left and right……DAMN! No camera.) Oh well. We’ll talk NFL in another column, right now we’re talking about CFB…..I mean Hell, I’m 40! I’m a MAN! Let’s get to it.
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Our Favorite Time of Year
And so it is upon us once again. College Football Season. Christmas come early for so many of us. What any one of us would do or give up — 2 weeks worth of vacation time / Christmas or birthday presents/ that new car we hoped to buy / the Vegas trip with the boys that our wives and girlfriends “promised” we could go on this year– for the chance for our Laundry Liaisons of the Gridiron to hoist that prestigious Crystal (foot) ball up in the air. And the great thing about this year is that there are no one or two teams that everybody loves.
There seems to be a hope and glitter in most every college football fan’s eyes for this season. We could easily have our first back-to-back national champs since USC did it in 2003-2004. (Or did they really since this whole scandal approached them — thanks Reggie! –and USC did not even really play for the championship in 2003. But I digress.) Or could we have the first Non-BCS conference team hoist that trophy? I’m sure some angry hillbilly from Norman is waiting for that with his hunting rifle so he can blow it to smithereens. “Damn you Statue of Liberty! I mean fake Statue of Liberty!”
Here’s the Second Annual “All You Need to Know About National Signing Day” recruiting analysis. I have rated the 25 best-named recruits in the country plus the five classes with the coolest names.
While there were no Shavodrick Beavers this year to pick from, there were a lot of solid names, some of which sadly missed the cut (Gifford Timothy, Fidel Montgomery, and Matt Pelesasa to name a few).
Anyway, here are the 25 coolest names for the College Football Class of 2014:
25. Forrest Hightower – San Jose State
24. Rowdy Harper – Houston
23. Jackson Kaka – New Mexico State
22. Johnathan Ragoo – Minnesota
21. Dwellie Striggles – Buffalo
20. King Holder – San Diego State
19. Kalafitoni Pole – Washington State
18. Chi Chi Ariguzo – Northwestern
17. Furious Bradley – Southern Miss
16. Munchie Legaux – Cincinnati
15. B.J. Chitty – Troy
14. Matangi Tonga – Houston
13. Deveon Dinwiddle – Kansas State
12. Storm Johnson – Miami (Fla.)
11. Happy Iona – Oregon State
10. Ace Sanders – South Carolina
9. Carrington Byndom – Texas
8. Braxton Deaver – Duke
7. Sharrod Golightly – South Carolina
6. Mike Bizzarro – Akron
5. Jaqwaylin Arps – Kansas
4. Tank Sessions – Florida State
3. Jose Jose – UCF
2. Mister Jones – Texas A&M
1. Wave Ryder – Utah State
Let’s cut out all the wish-wash and euphemisms and get straight to the point. Florida State fired Bobby Bowden Monday morning, sacked him, canned him, showed him the door. Pick your phrase. But please don’t say Bobby Bowden retired.
I would have written this a few weeks ago if I anticipated its outcome correctly. Obviously, I did not.
I thought the University of New Mexico was suspending head coach Mike Locksley as a pretense to fully relieving him of his duties, the standard “We’re suspending you without pay until our lawyers tell us how to fire you the cheapest.”
But, on Sunday, Locksley returned to his office in Albuquerque, N.M., resuming his duties as if nothing had ever happened.
What happened, of course, was that Locksley attacked receivers’ coach J.B. Gerald, leaving Gerald with a split lip and the accusation that Locksley punched him.
This is good news. Well, it’s bad news, but for me it’s good news.
I’ve never believed in second chances, at least not when you do something this unethical. Now I have a second story to back me up.
Signing day has come and gone and it is time to look at the future of Penn State’s offense. Nittany Lion fans should be happy with where the team is heading as the Class of 2009 is one of the finest Penn State has had in a while, and the offense may have the corp of a future offensive attack that will be a threat in the Big Ten.
QUARTERBACK
Kevin Newsome is already enrolled at Penn State so his story was already written before signing day. Newsome was recruited by offensive line coach Bill Kenney, swaying him away from Michigan and Virginia Tech. With the departure of Pat Devlin the addition of Newsome eased the concerns of many Penn State fans. At 6 foot 3 inches and 217 pounds Newsome is in the same mold as Daryll Clark and Michael Robinson. We all have seen the success those players have had running the offense and Penn State fans are anxious to see how Newsome does in the same offensive scheme.
Penn State is introducing a talented recruiting class this year even without Jelani Jenkins, one of the top linebacker prospects available who chose Florida over Penn State. Penn State may not have the top caliber players for the defensive positions they need to fill but with some time to mold this could be a vastly improved unit.
While the focus of Penn State’s recruiting class was largely on offense in the class of 2009 there was still an emphasis on the secondary. Of the eleven defensive recruits Penn State is bringing in seven of them are in the defensive backfield.
And the future stars of college football are….
The only thing more disastrous than Bob Stoops’s red-zone offensive playcalling Thursday night was Fox’s coverage of the Bowl Championship Series. And it was disastrous.
Starting with the obvious, Thom Brennaman proved that he makes Al Michaels and John Madden appear intelligent.
Take, for instance, in the pregame show, when he introduced us to “Dolphins Stadium,” even though there’s no such place as “Dolphins Stadium.” For those who care for accuracy, the game was played in “Dolphin Stadium.”
Or, in the first quarter, when Brennaman said the Gators had third down and 10, even though it was only second down. Of course, he would later top this gaffe when he would mess up the down six times in one series.