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pittsburghpiratesparrotmascot
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Pittsburgh Pirates

A funny thing happened on the way to another losing season…

Posted July 18, 2011 by RJ Warner

Hold on, let me check my watch. And by watch I mean the home screen on my phone because who wears a watch anymore? As of 10:43 PM ET on July 15, Year of Our Lord or Roberto Clemente 2011, the Pittsburgh Pirates are sitting alone in first place. Wait, let me put that on [...]

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Ask RJ: Inaugural December Edition
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General Sports

Ask RJ: Inaugural December Edition

Posted December 17, 2008 by RJ Warner

Checking my Sportscolumn article archives, I noticed that it’s been 30 MONTHS since I’ve had an article published. Was it laziness or some subconscious protest to not write something until Michael Vick has received the justice he deserves and rightfully resumes his NFL career with the Oakland Raiders. Since it was just reported today that [...]

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Have a Neat Summer!
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Satire

Have a Neat Summer!

Posted June 30, 2006 by RJ Warner

Remember your high school yearbook? Me neither, but I do remember signing them for friends (stay cool, dude!), non-friends (trying to cleverly mix the word “fart” in there somewhere) and wish-they-were-girlfriends (my phone number) like I was some sought-after athlete whose scrawl would be cherished for generations, if not days. Mine of course, would get [...]

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The clueless soccer fan’s guide to watching the World Cup
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Soccer

The clueless soccer fan’s guide to watching the World Cup

Posted June 8, 2006 by RJ Warner

Remember comedian Jay Mohr’s talk show on ESPN back in 2002? Of course you don’t. It lasted only 16 seconds, but that was long enough for him to get in the one line that pretty much captured how the good ol’ U.S of A. has felt about the rest of the world’s favorite quadrennial sporting [...]

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Confessions of an Atlanta Braves hater
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Atlanta Braves

Confessions of an Atlanta Braves hater

Posted April 15, 2006 by RJ Warner

Who’s sick of the Atlanta Braves? If I asked ten people, I bet nine would raise their hands. I was always sick of them. More than any Mets fan, Phillies fan or any NL East wanna be du-jour. They have been clogging up baseball’s postseason since 1991, with only one championship to show for, in [...]

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Another great afternoon
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MLB General

Another great afternoon

Posted April 3, 2006 by RJ Warner

Welcome to Opening Day. I know the White Sox and Indians played on Sunday night, but to me that’s the equivalent of the play-in game. Today’s when baseball really starts. The season only gets officially underway when the President throws out the first pitch. It’s not quite that first Thursday-Friday of the NCAA tournament, but [...]

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Madcap mascots make our games merry
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Satire

Madcap mascots make our games merry

Posted March 29, 2006 by RJ Warner

They’re fun. They’re cute. They’re Criminals (Yuma HS, AZ)! Ah, the life of the sports mascot. Be it high school, college, or the pros, the game just can’t go on without an eight foot tall, oversized, stuffed Banana Slug (UC-Santa Cruz). I want to be a part of the fun, so I’m going to apply [...]

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Wanna Win Your Bracket? Try a Whole "LOTA" Love
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College Basketball

Wanna Win Your Bracket? Try a Whole "LOTA" Love

Posted March 14, 2006 by RJ Warner

(Deep breath, wiping sweat from forehead, big smile) IT’S HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!  (More giddy laughing, thinking about dancing, thinking twice). It’s that week, boys, girls and shareholders. The week we’ve all been waiting for, the only marketing slogan we’ve collectively as a nation completely caved into: MARCH MADNESS!  I have a friend from Turkey who didn’t even [...]

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