Thank God it’s Monday, huh? Another week has passed in this never-ending sports merry-go-round. Who wants to get off now? Maybe Gene Upshaw. Not me, though. Not with all the fun stuff coming up. Baseball is about to dive head first into real international competition on this side of the globe after dipping it’s toe in the Far East. Hockey and pro basketball are still a few months away from a meaningful game, but hey, at least they’re not showing Hawks highlights (Chicago or Atlanta) on Sportscenter anymore.
Oh, and there’s that tournament that those college kids are going to play next week. Get your vacation days approved, yet?
So to celebrate, here’s another fresh batch of sports nuggets for your reading pleasure. Inside, you’ll read the dirtiest thing ever written on Sportscolumn (you should’ve already read one), but that won’t keep the cheerleader with the broken neck from Southern Illinois from reading them. And of course, I will honor the two “Major League” quote limit for the year.The poets and romantics are already out there waxing on about how smitten they are with the NCAA tournament. Yeah. Wait ’til they miss that first 5-12, or until Kansas loses in the first round after they picked them to win it all. Watch them wax off real fast. If only they’d write their girlfriends or wives junk like that. Kidding; there is nothing better in sports – no, LIFE – better than the third Thursday in March; and Shakespeare himself would’ve had Valpo in ’98. Also, their better half would never dance around like coach Steve Merfield did in 2001 after his 15th seeded Hampton Pirates upset no. 2 Iowa State.
Maybe it’s too early in spring, but Grady Sizemore of the Indians looks like Mantle out there. Then again, so does Yurendell Decaster. What did Lou Brown say in Major League? “Off a guy who’ll be bagging groceries next week.” (I write this as I watch Sizemore take Jose Lima deep). And by the way, “Who’s Lou Brown?”
Those Donovan McNabb’s mom’s Chunky Soup commercials are annoying enough from late August to the beginning of February, but downright brutal the rest of the year. It’s bad enough watching McNabb fake out a bunch of faux Cleveland Browns while we’re watching the NFC Championship game, but during the NEC championship game?
See the commercial with Bobby Knight throwing the heavy red chair around? Two questions. First, does the chair represent the one Knight will be sitting on at home during the NCAA’s? Second, why is he wearing a bright red sweater and tossing a bright red chair?
I was in the UNC-Duke chat on Saturday night here at Sportscolumn. Something eerie happened. As soon as Trevor E2W joined, Duke began playing like Duquesne. This led me to wonder: is Trevor really Coach K? Because no Krzyzewski coached team ever dogged it like that down the stretch; so there’s no way he could have been at Cameron after 10 PM.
People always said that Kirby Puckett was one of the good guys. Never met him in person, but I do remember having this book when I was a little kid of sports stars addresses. I wrote every player I liked in there, gushing to them how great they were (I was in early training for sportswriting back then, I guess) and asking for an autograph. Guess who was the only player who wrote back? Not only did Puckett sign a picture, he wrote a personal note wishing my Little League team good luck in our season. I’d say that’s a good guy, wouldn’t you?