RJ’s Junk Drawer

With the sporting world in a virtual holding pattern over the next few weeks while we wait for March Madness and the baseball season (i dunno – April Ardor?) to give us some real sports stuff to talk about (what’s this O-limp-ix thing they’ve been yapping about these past two weeks anyway?) here’s a fresh list of sports notes to whet your appetite until the real fun begins – bashing Alex Rodriguez. Oh, wait, they started that already.

Oh well, here goes. Have fun and don’t read it all at once, thus frying your brain and losing points on the Wonderlic test.I was jonesing for the NCAA’s so bad that I whipped up a quick office poll for the Match Play Championships. I took a bath on my final four of Tiger, Mickelson, Paddy Harrington and Luke Donald and finished way out of the money. I didn’t even get the tiebreaker of the number of cameras Woods’ caddy would destroy (I had two).

Really, it was a great tournament. You had Zach Johnson going all Santa Clara to Jim Furyk’s Arizona. I also think Scott Verplank really got hosed with that six seed in the Ben Hogan bracket. And where was the play-in match in Dayton between Paul Broadhurst and Charles Howell III (the 64th and 65th ranked players)?

Is there anything more useless in the world of sport than the NBA trading deadline? With the exception of Rasheed Wallace going to the Pistons a few years ago, these deals don’t have any more impact than if Ric Bucher himself was sent to the Sonics for Danny Fortson and a 2007 second round pick.

It seems as if fans storming the court in college basketball has become as common as showing The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable. Last week I watched Syracuse fans, only a few seasons removed from winning the national championship, flooding the court after a win over West Virginia. Yes, WEST FLIPPIN’ VIRGINIA! Derrick Coleman and Sherman Douglas would be turning in their graves (if they were dead). What happened to wearing a silly orange afro and holding a sign that says “Hi mom – send money!” to get yourself on TV?

Before the Olympics began, I predicted that Shaun White would win more gold medals than Bode Miller, Sasha Cohen, and Canadian men’s hockey combined. I just forgot to write it down.

Would you take an 89% pay cut to do the same job you do day-in day-out, albeit play three quarters of an exibition game before going on the shelf for the rest of the season? Neither would I and neither should Chad Pennington. He has a right to keep his nest “egg” intact. Sorry, couldn’t pass that up. Yes I could’ve. Seriously, though, there is a saying in the labor world that he who holds the hammer will use it, so Pennington isn’t to blame.

Betcha didn’t know that the U.S. men’s soccer team is now ranked sixth in the world. On a similar note, I also bet you don’t know that I have a dog named Chewie, either.

This article may have been very lighthearted up to this point, but I’m dead serious on this one: the NHL and the NBA should start their playoffs right now. Just do it, no questions asked.

Ok, I’ll be like the first guy at the prom who awkardly starts dancing. Here’s my early Final Four Picks:

Kansas, Duke, Gonzaga, Ohio State