Five Lessons I Learned from Rafael Palmeiro

“I didn’t do it….someone gave it to me…I have no idea how it got there.” Sound like lines from an episode of Law & Order? Not quite, that’s a summary of the responses that Rafael Palmeiro has given regarding the accusations of using steroids and for later testing positive for the illegal susbstance. While I don’t want to jump on the bandwagon of this oversaturated story, I would like to share with you five lessons I learned from Rafael Palmeiro:Lesson 5- Plug your ears
A life lesson for all of us- when you don’t like what you hear, just plug your ears.  After Palmeiro returned from his suspension, this was how he chose to deal with the boo-birds on the road…and at home.  Next time I get a speeding ticket, I’m going to see how well this tactic works.

Lesson 4- Leave a lasting legacy
I used to wonder if I would remember Palmeiro as a Ranger, Oriole, or Cub. Now, despite over 3,000 hits and 500 homeruns, the image America will remember when they think of Palmeiro is him dressed to the max pointing a finger at the congressional panel, and all of America, and emphatically denying ever using steroids and testing positive months later.  That’ll make you famous.

Lesson 3- Misery loves company
That’s exactly why Rafael Palmeiro tried to pin his postive test on a Vitamin B-12 injection from Miguel Tejada. I’m not a scientist, but something tells me that a vitamin found in fish, beef, and chicken really would show up as a growth hormone. Even worse, it apparently happened some time ago and MLB quickly announced that Tejada had done nothing wrong and was clean.

Lesson 2- Play dumb
The oldest trick in the book. When all else fails and you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, throw your hands up and say, “I didn’t know there were cookies in there.”  Ever since the positive test was reported, this has been his strategy.  A kid can get away with it, not a forty-year-old man.

Lesson 1- Don’t lie to Congress
It’s one thing to lie to Major League Baseball and risk damaging your reputation with the public and with the boys in the locker room.  It’s another story to perjure yourself to Congress and risk hanging out with the boys in prison.  Yikes!

The real lesson to be learned here comes from, of all people, Jason Giambi.  Last year, the story was leaked that he had admitted using banned substances in the BALCO trial.  At the time of the leak, it looked like Giambi was damaged goods. Time has proved otherwise.  

Today, Giambi is a candidate to be the Comeback Player of the Year and has gained a new respect among many fans.  While most players have denied using steroids, Giambi’s admission has proved that the biggest lesson to be learned is to simply tell the truth.  If only some other superstars, (insert names here), would follow suit, they may find their load a little lighter.  I’m not just talking about their muscles, but something even more valuable, their conscience.