THE MLB WE LOVE YOU AWARDS

If baseball be the food of love…play on…WE LOVE YOU, Fenway Park. We love you for your Green Monster, your noisy crowd, and your à la carte menu of nookies, crannies and controversy that emanates from your storied walls. We love the smell of Sam Adams, as well as Manny’s adventures in left field.

WE LOVE YOU, Houston, and Oakland. If anyone told me that you’d both be vying for Wild Card positions, you’d love it! Heck, after the dismantling job that Billy Beane did with your pitching staff, Oakland, everyone thought you’d be finishing the season looking up. Now you’re the hottest team in baseball. And Houston- score some runs for Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens. Their ERAs are stinking low, and when you’re batting, it’s good to score more than one run for them. But hey, you’re in a Wild Card fight- so who are we to say?

WE LOVE YOU, youth. Dontrelle Willis and Jon Garland, step up. You’ve been heroes for your respective ball clubs, making us all happy that we knew about you before you started, and that’s you’re for real right now. Note to Dontrelle: Let the bullpen get a go, will ya?

WE LOVE YOU AL East. Gone are the days of a Yankee walkover. Now, four teams can get to the playoffs- with Boston and New York leading the way. Oh, and about those Devil Rays? If only they could get some pitching.

WE LOVE YOU, Lou Pineilla. We love your tantrums against opposing teams, umpires, and even your own management. We love you for blowing your top and your sheer passion for the game. We love you even more for saying: “I’ve forgotten more about baseball than [Curt Schilling] knows.” We love you for the fact that you manage despite having shitty management who won’t give you cash to buy good players, and you’re doing well at it.

WE LOVE YOU, Lees. Derrick and Carlos, stand up and be counted. You make the NL fun without needing to see Barry Bonds. We love you Derrick, because you smack the ball around the park like you were playing slow-ball wiffleball. We love you Carlos, because you hit RBIs and it’s always fun watching you at bat. Your teams love your numbers, too.

WE LOVE YOU, Griffey. I tried to describe the beauty of your swing, but I am lost in awe. For the first time in years you are fit, yet you’re playing at 100%. We love the effort you make for your team, and we love the way that you play. Hey, I’d put you in the Hall of Fame right now if it was my choice.

WE LOVE YOU, Raffy. We love you Rafael Palmeiro. We love you for your modesty. We love you for the fact that you didn’t pick up first base after you became Mr.3000, and we love you for the fact that you’ve given so much to the game. We love it that your team’s competitive, too.

WE (STILL) LOVE YOU, Wrigley Field. We love your outfield wall of ivy, your seventh inning stretch, and your day games. We love the fact that Greg Maddux got 3,000 strikeouts in your yard, but you still manage to lose in 11 innings. We love that Derrick’s playing so well for you, and that Sammy’s left you to bitch and moan elsewhere.

WE LOVE YOU, Comissioner Selig. We love you for the fact that you took no notice of the whole Steroids thing until this year. We love for your ignorance, and your lack of knowledge in the “Steroid Years”. Hell who cared if it was cheating? Long balls are fun, after all! But we also love it that you want to ban cheaters for ever. We’d love it even more if you “struck out” steroid cheats after one failed test.

WE LOVE YOU, New York Yankees. In April and May everyone told us that your playoff chances were over. They told us that Giambi would never play again, and that Tino looked clueless. A few home runs and hitting streaks later, you’re back, fighting for the AL East title. If the whole team could put Gary Sheffield’s sort of fight into things, then you’d win 130 games every year.

WE LOVE YOU, the local ER, MLB’s “second bullpen”. If you want to meet a great pitcher, hang out in your local ER. If it’s not backs, it’s arms. If it’s not arms, it’s shoulders. If it’s not shoulders, then the pitcher either gets hit in the head (Matt Clement) or leg (Roy Halladay). Is no-one safe from the curse of pitchers this year?

WE LOVE YOU, A-Rod and Manny. We love the fact that not only are your teams hunting for October, but you’re also duking it out for the AL MVP crown. Hey, and A-Rod? You do a nice sideline in saving kids’ lives from the front of cars. Keep it up!

In short….

WE LOVE YOU, baseball. We love everything about you. We love the way the ballpark’s OUR sanctuary to watch a game. We love the scoreboard out in left, where we can see how our team’s getting on. We love the 1-2, 2-2, 3-2 counts, where we’re cheering ourselves hoarse for that strikeout pitch. Mind you, we also love 1-0, 2-0, 3-0, 3-1 too, because we’re cheering ourselves hoarse for our player to hit a homer. We love the game-tied, bottom of the ninth, where anything could happen. We love the top of the first, when we know that we’ve got 3 hours to revel in God’s wonderful creation and watch the game that we love unfold. We love you, mid-season baseball.