NFL Round 1 Playoff Picks

Now that we got the regular season out of the way, let’s go on to our Round 1 playoff picks. During the regular season, we got about 63% of the picks correct. If you read Tokar’s column on “expert” picks, you’ll know that’s pretty decent. But, like most teams, we expect to pick it up during the Super Bowl run. Problem is that we can’t agree on anything.

Playoff Picks

MATCHUP	Vegas Vinny	Mile High	Guru Ganu	Mr. X
Rams-Seahawks	Rams	Seahawks	Seahawks	Rams
Jets-Chargers	Chargers	Chargers	Chargers	Chargers
Broncos-Colts	Colts	Broncos	Colts	Colts
Vikings-Packers	Packers	Packers	Vikings	Vikings

Let’s break down the games one by one.

  Saturday, Jan. 8. 4:30 p.m. on ABC

Mile High: At the start of the season, the Seahawks were being mentioned as Super Bowl favorites. That’s laughable now, but what’s even more laughable is that Mike Martz is still getting the “Genius” label associated with his name. He is a bonehead coach, and even more stubborn. These guys were lucky to make the playoffs. On the other side of the ball you have the underachieving Seahawks and most self-centered whiny RB I think I’ve ever seen. Alexander, at least PRETEND that you care more about the win than your stupid personal stats. Sure, to be so close is rough, but let’s focus on what really matters. Neither team really impresses me here, but I have to go with the home team and the fact that it’s tough to beat a team three times in the same season. I personally almost want the Seahawks to lose just because of Alexander’s selfishness. That being said, take the Seahawks and bank on an exit next week for them.

Vegas Vinny: This is the battle between two of the biggest jokes in the playoffs. One team is a bunch of underachievers led by an idiot and the other other team is full of whiners who are the definition of 4th quarter collapse. Mile High has a point about Shaun Alexander but in 10 years, the record books will still have rushing crown winners but first round playoff exits are just footnotes. Maybe that’s what Alexander was thinking about when he claimed he was stabbed in the back. In any case, don’t you believe the thinking that a team can’t beat another team 3 times in one season. As a matter of fact, it happens 67% of the time. The Rams are in Seattle’s head. So, take the Rams for this week, being lead to a Philly slaughter.

Guru Ganu: Mike Martz is the most entertaining coach in the playoffs hands down. Now that Wannstedt’s at Pitt, Mike Martz is the coach I watch the closest. He screws up every play call, every clock management issue, and still his team hangs around in most games. That is one of the two reasons I am rooting for, and picking the Rams. Second reason? Shaun Alexander broke the bitch rule. He bitched and bitched about not getting the rushing title, to the point where some teams may even question bringing him in as a Free Agent next year.

Mr. X: The Rams beat the Seahawks twice this year based on the inability of Seattle to stop the vertical passing game. Their safeties (Ken Hamlin and Michael Boulware) are big hitters and great at run support but play very little pass defense which allows Shaun McDonald, Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt to create havoc all over the field. However, what people don’t seem to realize is
that the Rams play very little defense themselves. If Dorsey Levens can run all over them in a crucial Monday Night game for their playoff hopes,
then Shaun Alexander will have a big big game. The trendy pick right now is the RAMS to make it three for three this year. I, however, don’t believe that Marc Bulger is healthy and I certainly don’t believe the RAMS can stop Alexander. Look for Holmgren to come out and pound Alexander to make up for his missing the NFL rushing title, and using play action expect Hasselbeck to hit the newly activated Koren “Ricky Williams” Robinson for a deep score. Final Score: Seattle 24 Rams 16

  Saturday, Jan. 8. 8 p.m. on ABC

Mile High:Weather is going to make this one a little ugly as all of California is water-logged. The Jets are limping into the playoffs and it’s clear that Pennington still has some residual shoulder issues. Their defense should keep it close, but I think LT, with the threat of Gates should be the difference in this one. Nate Kaeding has the leg and could kick a long late FG to win this one. The Chargers are beatable to be sure, but I don’t think the Jets are the team to do it.

Vegas Vinny: I hope the one week bus ride was fun for Herm and the boys because they’ll be back in their cushy homes next week. Based on the play of the Jets in the past month, I don’t see how they can go into San Diego and beat the Chargers in their house. Sure, SD isn’t know for a rabid loyal fan base but a playoff run takes care of most of that. Pennington is not 100% and he has not played well in any big games in his career. His two worst games this year were against Pittsburgh and New England, by far the two biggest of his career. If he doesn’t watch out, he might inherit the Peyton Manning shrinking violet title.

Guru Ganu: Marty is ready, LT is ready, and the Bolts are going to be tough during this tourney.

I understand it has been raining in SD, which shouldn’t really favor either team, as they are both power bottom teams, um, I mean power running teams. The Jets have to fly way out west to play, and they always bitch about that, plus Chad has been bitching to the press, and usually, in the playoffs, the team that bitches the most loses.

My favorite part of this game will be off the field, after the game, when the Jet’s coach Shaft Edwards takes the podium representing the losing team. He is always good for a sound bite or two, be sure to tune in to ESPN NEWS after the game.

Mr. X: Interesting matchup here. I think the network Execs are overrating this matchup just tad. The Chargers are a team that gets little respect despite a very very nice year. The Jets? Well – consider me unimpressed. The media would have you believe the AFC is this almighty conference yet the mighty JETS couldn’t even go on the road, with their playoff lives on the line, to FREAKING ST.LOUIS (AN 8-8 NFC PLAYOFF TEAM) and win. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND.
Ok…welcome back…so let’s keep this simple for all of you. The JETS are not every good. Pennington is overrated and Curtis Martin is winding down from a big year but is no star RB. Heck – he’s not even the best RB in this game. Look for Brees and Tomlinson to continue their surprise run this season – which will include an Antonio Gates score and some solid defense by the BOLTS, to a surprisingly easy win over the JETS and a low rating for ABC. Final Score: Chargers 30 Jets 13

  Sunday, Jan. 9. 1:00 p.m. on CBS

Mile High: Let me get this out of the way–I am a biased Denver fan. And superstitious, so I am picking the Broncos. Sure, it’s at Indy, but their defense is their weakness. If the Broncos can contain the offense early on, we have a shot. Trevor Pryce should be back in action again so we can finally (FINALLY) get some semblance of a pass rush. Reggie Hayward stepped up in the Tennessee game and we should see others start to perform as Pryce draws the double-team. This is where Champ proves the trade was the right thing to do. And we know the Indy WRs don’t like to get hit, so Lynch should be a factor. On the offensive side of the ball, Denver needs to return to the Broncos of old and run, run, run. This will keep the ball out of Peyton’s hands. Jake on the roll-out will keep the suspect Indy D in check. Denver upsets the Colts in Peyton’s record setting year.

Vegas Vinny: Nobody is giving the Broncos any chance at all in this one. You know why? Because they don’t have a prayer. What is Kennedy (and Mile High above) talking about? Indy WRs don’t like to be hit? So what? The Rams won a Super Bowl with a bunch of Pinkstons at WR. (Well, Pinkstons w/ talent.) The Colts WR will be so busy running by the Broncos secondary and their cornerback savior that there won’t be any time to get hit. The over/under on this game should be what point in the game does Jim Sorgi take over.

Guru Ganu: Remember last year when the Colts beat the Broncos 41-10? As a Raider fan that was the highlight of my year. So I will be sure to tune in this year, when I expect the Colts to win 61-6, or some other embarrassing final score. The Broncos remind me of the Dolphins of the 90s, good enough to get in the playoffs, but bad enough to lay an egg once they are in the dance. Frauds. Of course, if they were in the NFC they would be my pick to get to the Super Bowl, but I digress. So be sure to tune in to this one to watch the look on Rat Shanahan’s face as Plumber throws INT after INT and Peyton throws TD after TD on Wildcard Bailey.

Mr. X: Please see for a rough preview of this game:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=240104011
Dejavu. No contest. Colts win a laugher.
Final Score: Colts 44 Broncos 17

  Sunday, 4:30 p.m. on FOX

Mile High: It’s hard to remember back to earlier in the year when everyone thought Culpepper was going to break Marino’s touchdown record. These guys cannot win when it counts. Period. Favre is feeling it and is having fun out there. I have images of Culpepper fumbling 2-3 times in this game. Maybe Minnesota will focus on drafting a Defensive player in this year’s draft if they don’t miss their pick again. Take the Pack at home in this one.

Vegas Vinny: Look, I know that every game between Minny and GB is close. I also know that the Vikings offense can score in 2 seconds. But what I also know is that this team has no heart whatsoever. During the loss to the Redskins (who for only the 3rd time all season scored 20+ points), they showed player after player on the sidelines. Those guys have no confidence and have no shot at beating the Packers in a game that really matters. Yes, the Vikings will score 30+ but the porous defense always manages to give up just enough to the Packers to lose the game.

Imagine this: 2:23 left in the game. The Vikings are up by 4 and have the ball. Instead of running, they’ll run a fleaflicker with Bennett. Culpepper drops the ball on the carpet after trying to roll out right. The next thing you know, the Packers have the ball and they score a TD with 14 seconds left. On the ensuing kickoff (Randy Moss has already left for the locker room), they return it to their own 39. There is time for a game tieing FG but the playcall is for a pass down the middle. The catch is made at the GB 24. But time expires because the Vikings have no more time outs, having wasted them on terrible challenges and near delay of games. Game over. Packers win.

You think this is implausible? I have two words for you: Mike Tice.

Guru Ganu: Green Bay and Minnesota in the playoffs. Wow. The NFC is terrible. Green Bay has a terrible defense, a QB in decline, and beat up running back corps. There is no reason to pick Minnesota, they have been just as bad. However, one team in the NFC has to come out of nowhere and put together and unexpectedly good performance this weekend, and I am going with the Vikes. Next week at this time the Vikes will be the trendy Super Bowl pick out of the NFC.

Mr. X: Finally – the game of the week. Not because it has the best teams but because these teams are closely matched. The Packers have one of the worse defenses in the history of the NFL and the VIKINGS are led by a retarded Ape like creature as their head coach. These two handicaps lead to some exciting matchups of turnovers, passes flying everywhere and commentators spewing lines like: “Ahman Green got rid of the arm brace so he doesn’t fumble any longer” (Thanks I didn’t
hear that the first 150 times) or “Brett Favre is truly a hero for shaving his head in honor of his wife and then just enjoying the game…” (Vomit…puke…vomit).

Well it all ends here. Favre is not a dominant QB anymore. It’s a myth. The VIKINGS pass defense is anemic but who cares – Moss has a huge game and the Vikings pull the upset in Lambeau. Favre cries in his postgame press conference and talks about the “so many things happened in my life” (The rest of the world doesn’t have any problems Brett) and TICE gets to head to Philadelphia where his Vikings will get humiliated by a hungry EAGLES squad. But hey…it was a fun wildcard game…
Final Score: Vikings 38 Packers 35 (OT)