Now that the Pistons have finished off the Lakers, I figure now is as good a time as any to make my big announcement. I would like to inform all of the NBA General Managers that I’m declaring myself eligible for the NBA Draft. Sure, I might not be a lottery pick, but judging by this draft class that is not a good enough reason not to go for it.
At 26 years of age, some might say, “He’s too old.” I beg to differ. Having never played high school or college ball, I have “fresh legs” meaning that I can handle the rigors of an 82-game schedule. Maybe I don’t have the height standing at 5’11”, but my wingspan is almost 6’1″. At 210 pounds, I certainly do not need to put on weight like many of the high schoolers that aren’t ready for the NBA. Like my heroes, Shawn Kemp and Oliver Miller, I have the prototypical “NBA body”. As far as being labeled a “tweener” because I’m too slow to cover guards and too short to cover forwards… did anyone watch Gary Payton throughout the playoffs? Certainly, I can’t be held accountable for my defense or lack thereof.
I have decided to skip the pre-draft camp in Chicago because that is only for college seniors that need to prove themselves like Big 12 Player of the Year, Tony Allen. I’ve got nothing to prove and my agent told me that working out at the Moody Bible Institute could possibly hurt my draft status. It’s much wiser to hold my own workouts at the local YMCA, where scouts can watch me clang jumper after jumper. My agent told me not to worry because most NBA players can only sink one-out-of-three jumpshots. All that I do need to worry about at this point is to build up my “posse” and to get some new rims for my Toyota Corolla.
Like the 868 high school seniors that have also declared themselves eligible for the draft, I’ll be waiting patiently on June 24th, watching ESPN, and listening for a phone call from an NBA executive that’s ready and willing to take a chance on young man that can’t shoot or dribble.