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Remember this photo from the 2003 NBA Finals? Forget the self-immolating monk. Forget the Beatles stepping off the plane. This is the most important photo in the past 50 years. Why? Because it reminds us that Kobe is a little bitch.
Will we see a repeat of this next week? Perhaps. But the Lakers are like herpes simplex 10, you can’t ever be sure you’re rid of them. |
Still, it is always satisfying to see LA self destructing on national tv.
Look at this box score:
| JUNE 10 – FINAL | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | TOTAL |
| LA Lakers | 16 | 16 | 19 | 17 | 68 |
| Detroit | 24 | 15 | 24 | 25 | 88 |
68 points? That’s a college basketball score, not the NBA Finals. My favorite moment was when Devean George jacked up a three that missed badly. The camera focuses on Shaq throwing his hands up in disgust. After five years, I still can’t figure out if I dislike Kobe or Shaq more. Despite his arrogance and posturing, Kobe at least has game. I can’t stand when Shaq dunks a ball over someone 6 inches and 150lbs smaller than he is, and then struts down the court, flexing and mugging for the camera like he just did something incredibly brilliant. Good work, Big Jackass.
Speaking of jackasses, did anyone see the fan who was dressed like Bootsy Collins? Listen, you are not a member of Parliament and/or Funkadelic. You are not attracting women. You are just some lame ass who needs attention at a basketball game. People didn’t come to see you. They came to see the Pistons and the Lakers. Dear readers, word of advice, just don’t do it. No matter how tempting it is, don’t be that guy.
Mark it down
Sorry about that. Went off on a little tangent. Back to the Finals. The Lakers will absolutely win Game 4.
Conspiracy reason: ABC needs at least one more game back in LA so they can “find” an actor in the stands who happens to be doing an ABC/Disney very special movie.
Real reason: Phil Jackson is going to work the refs so much that they’ll give him every single phantom call. Unlike previous conspiracy theories, these calls will have nothing to do with David Stern or the league. The refs will just give the Lakers the calls to get Phil’s ugly mug out of their faces. A lot of people might hate Larry Brown but at least the man has never had a goddamn soul patch under his lip.
