MLB New York Yankees Philadelphia Phillies

MLB Umpires: Much ado about sucking

By Tom Kelly

So when Major League Baseball made the decision to exclusively include umpires with World Series experience in this year’s fall classic did it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?  Well it probably shouldn’t have, because all it did was assure us that those making the incorrect calls would do so with decades of collective experience.

Last night’s game 2 between the Yanks and Phils was yet again a comedy of umpiring errors that made fans everywhere cry out “Instant Replay” as they woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.  Starring as the feature play in last night’s hot mess was the Phillies somehow managing to turn two on a play in which zero outs were actually recorded.  Rather than having 1 out with the bases loaded and Mark Teixeira at the plate, the Yanks were sent back to the dugout on the phantom double play.  I can’t even begin to imagine the reaction had the Yanks not been holding the lead at the time.  All I can figure is that MLB would have been forced to find another entire crew with commensurate experience because this group wouldn’t have made it out of the Bronx without being strung up and beaten like middle-aged, overweight pinatas.

Oh yeah, and it wasn’t over either.  Shortly after the double play that never was, the umps called another double play… that never was.  Chase Utley would be called out on the tail end of a double play ball that he had clearly beat to first base, but to no avail.  Was it a make up call?  Could it have been the renegade justice of umpire Brian Gorman who realized he had already screwed the Yanks so it was only fair?  Maybe, but it would seem there might be a slightly better way to run things.

In summation, this is my official plea to Major League Baseball… we NEED replay!  There is no way around it, and no valid arguments that still stand against it thanks to postseason baseball turning into a glaucoma patient convention.  The umps don’t even have to leave the field, just stick an official replay reviewer up in a booth, give them final say and be done with it.  Call up C.B. Bucknor, whose atrocious ALDS umpiring already got him kicked off the first World Series crew he was to be a part of, and tell him he’s got a ticket to the series anyway.  Sit him in a booth and make him smile, because even he can’t get it wrong with replay on his side.  Really though, as far as I’m concerned you can use whoever throws out the ceremonial first pitch that game, just get someone with a pulse up there with a TV monitor who can fix this tragedy, because there is no one among us who could say we’d be against having even President Obama and his mom jeans up in that booth getting the call right.  As long as in the end, the right call might finally be made.

By teekay

Tom Kelly is a born and raised New Yorker and a huge sports fan. Yankee baseball and UNC basketball consume the majority of his time, while sleep and meals fill in the short blanks. He writes a daily morning segment for SportsNet New York's humor blog "The Nooner," along with doing his own independent writing on the side. He feels comfortable always answering the question "What's on TV tonight?" with "The game," and Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are the bane of his existence.

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