by Trevor Freeman
For the next month and a half, Kevin Durant will be inundated with people whispering that he would be a fool to not declare for the NBA Draft. They will tell Durant about the $70 million that Nike will throw at him. Agents will give him the same treatment that “Vinny Chase” got when he cruelly decided to explore the option of replacing “Ari Gold”. Writers will talk about how if the goal of college is to get a great education so you can get a good job, that Durant has already done enough to accomplish this goal. What nobody has done is articulate the other side. The reasoning for why he should stay in school. That’s where I come in. So Kevin, if you’re reading make sure you take the following five things into account before voting “yes” on the money and “no” on Texas.
“Stray Tail”
If everything were to hold to form, Memphis and Boston would have the top two picks in the draft. The quality of women in both cities isn’t great, but it isn’t terrible either. But what’s that car coming into focus in your rearview mirror…….ahh that would be Milwaukee. Comparing the women in Austin, Texas to the women in Milwaukee, Wisconsin is like trying to compare a bottle of Merlot pulled out of Robert Mondavi’s private collection to a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. There’s no blonde hair, blue-eyed, bikini-clad, Daisy Dukes wearing sophomore walking around some outdoor bar drinking a Pina Colada in Milwaukee. Before you walk away from the seventeen-keg party that is the University of Texas, I would implore you to take one trip up to Milwaukee and realize what you might be getting yourself into.
To top it off, the moment you get drafted, every woman you hook up with is going to hope that you become the father of her baby. If you stay in college, that pressure is off your shoulders. The 19 or 20 year-old girls at the University of Texas are just looking to have a good time and haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Think about it…..
“Big Man on Campus”
You know that blonde hair, blue-eyed, bikini-clad, Daisy Dukes wearing sophomore we were just talking about. She wants to get drunk and then get naked in your dorm room. You know what? So do the 95,000 other women on their campus (UT’s total enrollment is 190,000….I’m safely assuming half are women). Just think about that for a second. 95,000 women attend that school and think Kevin Durant is greatest thing since sliced bread. To top it all off, if you decide against the NBA Draft you can even pull the “I’m not about the money even though it’s there for the taking, I love my friends and my school” angle. Kevin…..they’d have to install one of those number dispensers they have at the bakery outside your dorm room if you decided to stay in school. I’m dead serious.
“March Madness”
Nielsen Media Research estimated that 132.7 million viewers watched all or part of CBS Sports’ overall coverage of the 2007 NCAA Tournament. That’s about 100 million more than will watch you play in the NBA Finals. Getting eliminated in the second round cannot be what you had in mind when you began your freshman season. However, if you stick around for another year there is no way a team with you, D.J. Augustin, and A.J. Abrams doesn’t threaten for the Final Four. In fact, I’d go on record as saying that Texas would be the team I hand the top spot to in my preseason rankings if you make the decision to come back.
“Being Tim Duncan or Peyton Manning”
The two guys listed above could get charged with one DWI a week for the next month and everybody would still think they are great guys. You know why that is? Because they all stayed in school for an extra year. I’m not saying it is right, however people tend to perceive guys that leave early from school in a lesser light than guys who stuck around. The same adjectives always get tossed around Peyton Manning and Tim Duncan. Selfless, great leader, intelligent. You know what………they’ll say the same thing about you if you stick around for another season.
“The Real Job”
Once you leave college…….that’s it. The NBA for all intents and purposes is a real job. They make you go to practice, work out everyday in the offseason, and play 82 games a year. In college, you play 30-37 games, have official practice in the fall, and work out the entire summer basically unsupervised. There’s a lot more free time you can mix in there to go see that bikini-clad baby sipping on a Pina Colada at three in the afternoon. Why do you think half of the players in the NBA play like they wish they weren’t there? Real jobs suck. It’s plain and simple.
There are 70 million reasons to leave school, but there are 95,000 reasons to stay. I know the decision I would make if I were in your shoes. Take a couple hours and walk the streets of Austin. Look around. Do you really want to take the chance that you may end up in Milwaukee next winter?
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to e-mail me at [email protected].
7 replies on “Why Kevin Durant Should Stay In School”
I couldn’t agree more I was trying to tell my friends the other day how made Durant really has it at Texas. Think about how simple, and great, his life is right now. Go to a couple of classes, be a hero on the court, get any girl he wants… I mean, who wouldn’t take another year of that paradise? Hell, ask Matt Leinart.
Great article.
or go to the pros, have tons of cash, nail any groupie he wants.
I’d actually take college too but you can’t risk injury when you’re a sure thing like Durant.
The Groupie versus Hot Sophomore at Texas Debate Leaving and going to the pros and sifting through groupies just isn’t the same as finding the hot UT sophomore or junior. Sure the groupies might have more veteran experience but they also bring that “used up” factor to the table. On the other side of the coin, the hot UT sophomore hasn’t been withered by getting nailed by tons of guys over a multitude of years. They retain their youthful exuberance. If I’m Durant I definitely take that into account. Especially at Texas. I’ve seen the “Gauchos” on television. UT may have the best looking chicks in the entire country.
Thank you Matt Leinart is the ultimate comparison. In the history of colleges and universities in the United States of America, I’m not sure if anybody got laid more than Matt Leinart. They should send him to speak to every athlete who is considering leaving college early. I guarantee he could talk them out of it.
no question I would take the hot sophmores at UT any day of the week over a groupie that’s been around the block a few thousand times.
But he can always go back to UT after he’s done playing ball and re-enroll. That’s what I love about college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
Touche The Wooderson quote is classic……….
…but like I said on Poor Mann’s PTI, if he comes back in a few years he’ll just be another guy at the party, not the Big Man on Campus. That blond hair, blue-eyed, bikini-clad, Daisy Dukes wearing sophomore will be looking for loving for the newest big thing.
Heh Well, College sure sounds like a wiser choice of course but Ihave to admit I would have chosen the contract and money coming with it anyway, it’s a lot of money to turn down…. And what if he get an injury on college, I wouldn’t risk it.
Gwen, Freelancer currently working on the lose 50 pounds fast project.