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Philadelphia Phillies

Mr. 10-000

The All Star break is here, and a much needed rest is given to the hard working ball players in the MLB, but for the Philadelphia Phillies, it is only delaying the inevitable. With their next loss, the Phillies will have 10,000 in their history.

In fact, no team in any sport across the world has every sucked more than the good old fightin’ Phills. During its 125 years of existence, the club has one world series title, that in 1980.

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Philadelphia Phillies

Friday Free for All: Philly frustration

Back in August, I started the Friday Free For All to get back into writing feature length columns, but like smart Charlie Manuel managerial moves, they were few and far between. But I’m ready to make a comeback. (Yes, folks, you are witnessing the most unasked for comeback since Winger released Headed for a Heartbreak.) So here it is, the first Friday Free for All of 2007, equal parts sports, angst, and anti-starfucking.

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Philadelphia Phillies

Philadelphia Phillies: Worst Franchise in Sports

*    Brett Myers beating his wife
*    Good ‘ole Cholly Manuel managing like he had a frontal lobotomy prior to the season
*    Leadoff extraordinaire, self proclaimed “J-Roll”, and his .300 on base percentage
*    Untouchable “Super Phenoms”, Gavin Floyd and Cole Hamels, and their 5.00+ MLB ERA’s
*    Pat Burrell and his 12 pack of Sam Adams that is super glued to his hip
*    Bobby Abreu’s defense
*    Waiver wire dynamo Rick White
*    Losing Streaks by the half dozens

  Folks – this is just the past two weeks in the life of the “Worst Franchise” in all of professional sports. Period. This is actually an improvement from the last decade or so when Ed Wade would be looking to move Bobby Abreu for some middle relief help by this point.


Charlie’s 2006 Band of Losers is “Par for the Course” in Phillies Land

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Philadelphia Phillies

Gordon signs with Phillies

George Steinbrenner will trade his best minor league prospects for a 41-year-old starter but he won’t resign a 38-year-old setup man. With an ERA of 2.39 over two years with the Yankees, their front office did not see fit to resign setup man/closer, Tom Gordon, and he was grabbed by the Philadelphia Phillies.

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Philadelphia Phillies

No More ‘Wade-ing’ For An Exciting Hot Stove Season For Phillies Fans

By: Jon Morrill   

If you’re feeling like new Phillies GM Pat Gillick has done more in the past month that he’s been in office than former GM Ed Wade did in the past eight years, you certainly have good reason. In the four weeks since Gillick replaced Wade in South Philly, he’s made some shrewd moves that seemingly already outshine what his predecessor accomplished in close to a decade in charge.  Let’s recap, shall we? In the past week alone, Gillick has…

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Philadelphia Phillies

S.O.S. Phillies are S(t)inking

Imagine you are playing a game of poker with your buddies. You have no good cards. Even the cards you have that are usually good seem to not help you out in any way, shape, or form. What do you do? What if you rearranged the cards in your hand? Doesn’t work, does it? Even when you switch cards with the dealer, the cards you get in return seem even worse than what you had before. And surely enough those cards will later help one of your buddies take the pot.

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Philadelphia Phillies

Citizen Wade

If you had told me that five weeks into the season the Philadelphia Phillies would have a better record than the New York Yankees, I would have recommended you seek psychiatric help.  If your prediction had come true, I’d be telling everyone who’d listen (and even those that wouldn’t) about how the perennially underachieving Phillies were finally going to meet their lofty expectations.

Somehow, the Phillies do have a better record than the Yankees…yet I remain silent.

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Philadelphia Phillies

Need Relief? Don’t watch the Phills.

It used to be one of the strengths of the team.  It used to be one of the only aspects of the team that one could count on.  So why is the relief pitching such a dreadful experience in Philadelphia lately?