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January 23, 2013

12-Step program to get over a football addiction after your team is eliminated from the playoffs

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Written by: bsd987
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12-Step program to get over a football addiction after your team is eliminated from the playoffs:

1. admit that we are powerless over football and that our lives have become full of hate for football
2. believe that only a Power greater than basketball/hockey could restore us to sanity
3. made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of alcohol of our choosing
4. made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves [AA has this one correct]
5. admitted to alcohol, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our hatred for football
6. were entirely ready to have alcohol remove all these painful memories of football
7. humbly asked alcohol to make it so that the evils of football were as far removed from our conscious as basketball/hockey
8. made a list of all the good moments of the season and became willing to pretend that only those moments had ever happened
9. made indirect amends to all people we wished would suffer career-ending injuries over the course of the season, except when to do so would require us to not wish evil on [insert evil team of choice/Tom Brady]
10. continued to remind ourselves there’s always next year, and when we forgot that, promptly readmitted it
11. sought through alcohol and more alcohol to improve our conscious contact with alcohol of our choosing, drinking only for forgetting football season and the power to move on
12. woke up hung over and put on our team’s shirt to show we are over football season



About the Author

bsd987
I have written for SportsColumn.com since 2004 and was named a featured writer in 2006. I have been Co-Editor of the site since January 1, 2009. I also write for BleacherReport.com where I am a founding member of the Tennis Roundtable and one of the chief contributors to both the Tennis and Horse Racing sections. I am "Stat Boy" for Sportscolumn.com's weekly podcast, Poor Man's PTI. I am currently a Junior at Rice University majoring in History and Medieval Studies. My senior thesis will focus on the desegregation of football in Texas and its affect of racial relations. Please direct all inquiries to bsd987@sportscolumn.com. Thanks, Burton DeWitt Co-Editor of Sportscolumn.com




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