We’re headed into the home stretch and despite lots of games with playoff implications, week 15 features very few important games (except for your fantasy team of course). We discuss all the week’s games, make some tasteless jokes, and rail against technology. Basically the same as every other week.

The featured games this week are Lions at Raiders, Bradys at Tebows, and Steelers at Niners.

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NFL Week 15 2011 Picks

Straight Up

MATCHUP	Vegas Vinny	BostonMac	RJ	Burton	Actual
Jaguars @ Falcons	Falcons	Falcons	Falcons	Falcons
Cowboys @ Bucs	Cowboys	Bucs	Cowboys	Cowboys
Packers @ Chiefs	Packers	Packers	Packers	Packers
Seahawks @ Bears	Bears	Seahawks	Seahawks	Bears
Panthers @ Texans	Texans	Texans	Texans	Panthers
Bengals @ Rams	Bengals	Bengals	Bengals	Bengals
Dolphins @ Bills	Dolphins	Bills	Dolphins	Dolphins
Redskins @ Giants	Giants	Giants	Giants	Giants
Saints @ Vikings	Saints	Saints	Saints	Vikings
Titans @ Colts	Titans	Titans	Titans	Titans
Lions @ Raiders	Lions	Lions	Lions	Lions
Patriots @ Broncos	Patriots	Patriots	Broncos	Patriots
Browns @ Cards	Cards	Cards	Cards	Cards
Jets @ Eagles	Jets	Jets	Jets	Eagles
Ravens @ Chargers	Ravens	Ravens	Ravens	Ravens
Steelers @ Niners	Niners	Steelers	Niners	Steelers
Prev Week	11-5	12-4	11-5	10-6
Overall	143-65	134-74	133-75	130-78

Against the Spread

MATCHUP	Vegas Vinny	BostonMac	RJ	Burton	Actual
Jaguars @ Falcons (-11)	Falcons	Jaguars	Falcons	Falcons
Cowboys @ Bucs (+6.5)	Cowboys	Bucs	Cowboys	Cowboys
Packers @ Chiefs (+14)	Packers	Packers	Packers	Packers
Seahawks @ Bears (-3.5)	Seahawks	Seahawks	Seahawks	Bears
Panthers @ Texans (-6.5)	Panthers	Panthers	Texans	Panthers
Bengals @ Rams (+6)	Bengals	Bengals	Bengals	Bengals
Dolphins @ Bills (+1.5)	Dolphins	Bills	Dolphins	Dolphins
Redskins @ Giants (-6.5)	Giants	Giants	Giants	Giants
Saints @ Vikings (+7)	Saints	Saints	Saints	Vikings
Titans @ Colts (+6.5)	Colts	Titans	Titans	Titans
Lions @ Raiders (+1)	Lions	Lions	Lions	Lions
Patriots @ Broncos (+6)	Patriots	Patriots	Broncos	Patriots
Browns @ Cards (-7)	Cards	Browns	Cards	Cards
Jets @ Eagles (-1)	Jets	Jets	Jets	Eagles
Ravens @ Chargers (+2.5)	Ravens	Ravens	Ravens	Ravens
Steelers @ Niners (-2.5)	Niners	Steelers	Niners	Steelers
Prev Week	7-9	11-5	6-10	8-8
Overall	106-98	106-98	103-101	111-93

Locks of the Week

Vegas Vinny: (5-9, Balance=$530) I’ve never felt as screwed on my lock as I did last week. How in the world does Tom Brady throw an INT in the endzone? Those 3 points would have demoralized the Redskins and had me cover my huge bet by 2. Bah. Stupid God.

This week, I will put my hopes with the New Orleans Saints. The Saints have won their last 5 against the spread and are 9-4 overall ATS this season. Truthfully, I have not done much research into this week’s lock. And judging by my record, that’s probably best for everyone involved. I’ll put $330 on the Saints (-7) to win $300.

BostonMac: (9-5, Balance=$1,665) I feel good about my lock streak. I rode Tebow as long as I could, then I jumped off the bandwagon right before the Bears game with the Broncos as 3.5 point favorites, and I get rewarded with an overtime field goal for the backdoor cover. This week, I’m going full circle and I’m willing to wager that the ride is O-V-A-H. Yes I am putting my eternal soul at risk here, but no one ever said a Faustian bargain was fair. This week, the Patriots are going to annihilate the Broncos. Yes, you heard that right. The Patriots are going to destroy Denver. Tebow can dance around with the Chicagos and Minnesotas and San Diegos (San Diegons?) of the world, he can keep the team close until the four minute mark of the fourth quarter, finally go to work and pull out a last-second or OT win. You can get away with that against those teams. And in many ways it is downright miraculous that he has.

But seriously, do we really expect the Broncos D to hold Brady, Welker, Gronk, and Hernandez to 10 points? Even in a shitty game last week that resulted in a near-brawl between TB12 and offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien, the offense still put up 34 and should have been 37 or 41 easily. Why won’t they do the same to Denver? As bad as the Patriots secondary is, they will still shut down Tebow for 3 4/5 quarters. I wasn’t a math major but last I checked Tebow probably can’t score 34 points in the last three minutes of a game. If he does, then I’ll go down to the Baptist church on Sunday and I’ll start singing with the choir. (I’m talking Southern Baptist, not First Baptist.) Not going to happen. $220 to win $200 on NEW ENGLAND (-6).

RJ: (2-10, Balance =$5) This weeks lock of the week is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHFHAHFHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Do you really want my pick? Really? I mean reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy? Ok then, I like the 49ERS (-2.5) over an injured and suspended-up Steelers team that’s due to lose on Monday night (6-0 SU & ATS under Tomlin). Oh and to make my write up as good as Ryans : Faustian Bargain, Catch 22 and uh, Sophie’s Choice.

Burton: (8-6, Balance =$1,765) I’m gonna ride this pony as long as it’s alive, and as of right now, it is alive and kicking. That pony, of course, is beating the dead horse that is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Bucs are lifeless, fightless, and gutless, and they’re plagued with the worst head coach in NFL history. They took a 14-point lead on the Jaguars and still managed to lose by 27. Impossibly bad.

Dallas, of course, is the bridesmaid of December, finding ways to lose out week-in-week-out for 15 years. The Cowboys’ collapse against the Giants last week was symbolic of the joke that Jerry’s Boys are and may forever be. But at least they’re not Tampa.

I will lock against Tampa until Tampa proves otherwise. That may well happen. But not this week. Not this year. Not until at least Week 1 in 2012. I’m going $440 to win $400 on Dallas to cover with room to spare.