Honesty is the Key

  In an interview a few days ago, Ricky Williams, running back of the Miami Dolphins, told the media he seriously considered smoking weed in his team’s bye week. While Ricky is known for lighting up in the past, he claims to have put this phase of his life behind him and focus on football. And while most of the world looks down on Ricky for his comments, I admire the honesty. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if all sports figures were this honest….
 What if Bill Belechich admitted that he isn’t a great coach, in-fact, what if he admitted he wasn’t even a good coach? Wouldn’t it be nice if he said, “I don’t really do much, I just watch Tom Brady and Randy Moss do their thing.”(or should I say Matt Cassell) What if Terrell Owens came out and announced “I honestly don’t really care if we win, as long as I get my touchdowns.”?

            How `bout if Al Davis agrees that he fires coaches consecutively just to hide the fact that his team is terrible? What if Chad Pennington admitted that he can’t throw a football farther than the winner of the eight year old punt, pass, and kick competition? Wouldn’t it be ironic if Steve Bartman claims he was a White Sox fan, who happened to stumble upon Game 6 tickets to the NLCS?

            I think a player should argue his ratings in a video game. I want Lebron to tell EA Sports, “My dunking has to be better than a 92!” I want Carmello Anthony to stand up and say, “No I’m pissed AI came to Denver , how am I supposed to get my shots?” I want an NFL ref to say, “I don’t know if that offensive lineman held Urlacher, but I have two thousand bucks on the Bears.” And I want the offensive lineman to say, “It’s alright, so do I.”

            I want Roger Clemens’ wife to claim she suspected Roger was using steroids when she saw a drop off in the bedroom. And I want Roger Clemens to come back and say, “So did my other wife….” I wish Raefeal Palmerio could rewind to his court date a  few years ago when he said, “I have never done steroids. Period,” and add, “Except for that one time.”

            Wouldn’t it be something if that big hitting safety admits he missed that tackle because, “I have Reggie Bush on my fantasy team.” I want Kobe Bryant to text Shaq, and tell him how his ass tastes. I want Jimmy Rollins to flat out tell Philly fans that they are front runners. Oh wait, nevermind.

            I want Chad “Ocho Cinco” to humble himself and reveal that he is not actually fluent in Spanish. And I want his teammate, TJ Houshmanzadeh, to admit that he often forgets how to spell his last name. I want Brett Favre to announce retirement; and stay retired.

            I want Tony Romo to do his best Jim Mora impression and question, “Playoffs? Who cares about playoffs when you come home to Jessica Simpson.” What if Sam Cassell revealed his secret life as an actor? (You’ve probably seen him in ET)

            I want poker players to stop referring to themselves as athletes. I want all females who claim they like sports teams agree they can’t name five players on that team. I want Phil Jackson to admit that his pre game meditation ritual actually consists of another M word. I want Eli and Peyton to reveal that they hate double stuff Oreos. I want the Williams’ sister’s father to tell us who he roots for when Venus and Serena play against each other.

            What if John Madden admitted that he uses clichés to hide the fact that he doesn’t have anything informative to say?  What if Justin Timberlake comes out and says that wardrobe malfunction was just the result of a lost bet?

            My mom always told me to never tell a lie. So, what do you say, professional athletes, coaches, and prominent others, how bout some honesty?