32 New Reasons to Watch the NFL In 2006

New Storylines to Watch For

Before the 2006-07 season began, I wrote an article giving the casual football fan 32 reasons to watch the NFL this year.  Well, two weeks have gone by and some of my initial reasons are starting to need a little sprucing up.  So, I now give you 32 new reasons to watch the NFL in 2006…

32. Pittsburgh Steelers – They won a game with Charlie Batch at the helm.  Not to mention their original starting QB is competing for the “most injury prone man alive” award.
31. Seattle Seahawks – This team is always overlooked for some reason.  I don’t know why, they have a prematurely bald QB, a FB named Mack Strong, and have some of the ugliest uniforms in the league.
30. Denver Broncos – The Broncos could end up being the biggest disappointment of the year; especially since Jake “the Mistake” Plummer is trying to play football while looking over his shoulder at Jay Cutler instead of looking at the defense.
29. Carolina Panthers – If you are a person who is small of stature and enjoy feeling important, watch the Panthers play without 5’9″ 175 pound Steve Smith.
28. Indianapolis Colts – Watch the Colts if you like… 6’5″, 230 pound quarterbacks… laser rocket arm.
27. Cincinnati Bengals – Carson Palmer is a shoe-in for the NFL’s Comeback Player of the Year award.  Plus they have a WR with a blonde Mohawk and another who is now known solely as T.J. “Whose-Your-Momma”.
26. New York Giants – The Giants are a very popular pick to be playing in Miami in February, you better jump on the bandwagon before it gets too crowded.
25. New England Patriots – Though the Patriots are 2 – 0, I see them as a team that has been stripped of all of their talent and skill, yet they still comeback and win… sort of like Evander Holyfield.
24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – I’m still baffled at how striking the resemblance is between QB Chris Simms and a shaved bird.
23. Jacksonville Jaguars – Mark my words, the Jags are going to win 11 or more game this year.
22. Atlanta Falcons – Atlanta is now running the same offense as 87% of the high school football teams in America.
21. San Diego Chargers – I can’t say anything bad about the Chargers.  LT is the leading scorer on my fantasy team.  Keep scoring those TD’s Ladainian!!!
20. Dallas Cowboys – Parcells says he feels sick, TO has a broken finger, the multi-million dollar kicker can’t kick, and Drew Bledsoe’s job is in jeopardy, I smell day time Emmy…
19. Miami Dolphins – The Dolphins have found a way to turn Jay Fiedler into a 6’4″ 250 pound Black man.  The Fins gave up a second round pick for who I now call “the Black Jay Fiedler”… I think they got the short end of the stick on that deal.
18. Chicago Bears – “Sexy” Rex Grossman is trying to rewrite the myth about Univ. of Florida quarterbacks.  You know, the one about how they all suck…
17. Kansas City Chiefs – A team quarterbacked by one of the Huard brothers is always fun to watch.
16. Washington Redskins – Whoever wrote the statement “money can’t buy happiness” forgot to include that it can’t buy wins either.
15. Baltimore Ravens – I initially said that the Ravens were going to be a playoff team, I look smart so far.  Keep watching though…
14. Arizona Cardinals – Everyone is already watching the Cardinals, mainly because the entire Arizona backfield is on their fantasy team.
13. New York Jets – No one has won the “spell D’Brikashaw” promotion yet, I heard they bumped up the prize from Giants season tickets to Mets playoff tickets.
12. Minnesota Vikings – I actually looked at their roster, this team is actually pretty good.  Maybe if they stay off the Lake Minnetonka they might sneak into the playoffs.
11. Cleveland Browns – Well, at first I said watch this team to see if their bad luck would change, now I say watch this team to hear TE Kellen Winslow put his foot in his mouth.
10. Philadelphia Eagles – Philly could possibly sneak into the NFC playoff race, they are playing some good football right now.
9. Tennessee Titans – The Titans now host the “Quarterback Variety Hour”, not only showing how bad one of their quarterbacks is but all of them.
8. New Orleans Saints – Reggie Bush…’nuff said
7. Buffalo Bills – Well, umm, their defense is solid… and umm… J.P. Losman is easy to make fun of…
6. San Francisco 49ers – I thought the 49ers were going to be abysmal, but they are actually fairly decent.  RB Frank Gore and WR Antonio Bryant are both from the city of Miami, so I’ll tune in every once in a while.
5. Houston Texans – A couple of other writers and I have a pool going… How many games will it be before Mario Williams is officially labeled a bust?
4. St. Louis Rams – “The Greatest Show on Turf”, not anymore.  They’re barely the greatest show in St. Louis.  But they are still okay to watch.
3. Oakland Raiders – DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, watch the Oakland Raiders.  They are horrible…
2. Green Bay Packers – Brett Favre said that this year’s Packers team was the most talented group he has ever been apart of, I guess he’s now delusional along with blind.  
1. Detroit Lions – The Lions have found a way to change traditional mathematic law and made six “stupid” close to 40.