The Next Shaun Alexander: The Laurence Maroney Story

What I am about to tell you, may be disturbing to the faint of heart. My prediction is so bold, so shocking, so death defying, that it just might brainwash you into making a quick stop at your local fantasy Wal-Mart to get one heck of a bargain on Laurence Maroney. Who in the..?  Maroney?  Is that some kind of Italian dish?The National Football League has no idea about the storm front that is lingering in the wings of the Midwest.  Dwelling in the shadows of the stealth preseason, where just about everything goes unnoticed with the exception of a certain “players” hamstring.  The NFL is already preparing for what they think is going to be the next Barry Sanders, hailing out of USC and area code 619.  They might be prepared for that storm, but they are going to have to bring in FEMA for what lies ahead when Laurence Maroney hits the spotlight.  It’s showtime.

For those of you that don’t know, Laurence Maroney comes to the NFL from the Division I-A Minnesota Gophers.  He was the 21st pick in the 1st round of the 2006 NFL draft taken by the New England Patriots.  He is a Shaun Alexander type of back who has the necessary speed to hit the after burners and take it to the outside, but he also has got the V-8 power to play chicken with any defender blocking his path up the middle. His aggressive running style compares to something of a Jamal Lewis, pre-prison era.  He boasts a ground arsenal that is what I like to call, a “Guerilla Warfare” type running style in the fact that he explodes down the field with power, speed, and authority.  If you watched any preseason Pats games, I assume you know what my ramblings are being based upon.  Or better yet, if you were a Minnesota Gophers fan, there is no need for you to even read this article.  YOU should be telling ME about this Gridiron Goliath.  If your not a Gophers fan, I can give you factual evidence.  The numbers don’t lie.

Laurence Maroney was straight Pneumonia for opposing defenses in college. He was just the third player in Big Ten history to rush for over a 1,000 yards in his first three seasons.  Joining the company of Ron Dayne and Sedrick Irvin, respectively.  Maroney was selected Big Ten Conference Freshman of the Year in 2003.  Despite only starting two games as a true Freshman, he put up eye popping numbers for a number 2 back.  He rushed for 1,121 yard on 162 carries,averaging 6.9 yards per carry.  In case you were wondering, the starter for the Gophers that year is now Dallas’ own, Marion Barber III.

In 2004, Maroney showed the itch for the spotlight, rushing his way to star studded numbers.  He led the team with 217 carries for 1,348 yards and twelve touchdowns, averaging 6.2 yards per rush in his sophomore season.  It only gets better from there.

In 2005, Maroney ranked fifth in the nation in rushing, averaging just over 133 yards per game.  He once again led his team in rushing, scampering to 1,464 yards, and ten touchdowns on 281 carries.  He also joined the passing attack that year.  He caught 17 balls for 170 yards receiving and adding a touchdown reception.  He wrapped up his Junior campaign with 1,730 all purpose yards.  In 36 games with the Minnesota Gophers, Maroney only started 14 times.  That is remarkable considering his numbers.  His career totals at Minnesota consist of 3,933 yards rushing on 660 attempts.  He also boasted 32 career touchdowns.  He averaged exactly six yards a carry over his entire college career.  He was the second leading rusher in school history.  To cap that off, he had twenty one games with 100 yards rushing or more.  Incredible stuff, considering he only started fourteen games in his college career.  You want more proof?

When you look at this kid, you can’t help but notice he looks a lot like Shaun Alexander when he runs the football.  He was a late first round pick in the draft, going at the 21st spot.  Alexander was taken late in the first round as well, at the 19th spot in the year 2000 draft.  Alexander went unnoticed and stayed under the radar for his first few years.  Alexander himself, has always been an underrated back. Even after a record setting year, Alexander still doesn’t get all the credit he deserves.  If the Seattle Seahawks did not have Shaun Alexander, they wouldn’t even be mentioned in the same breath as the Steelers.  Alexander is as important to the Seahawks as Peyton Manning is to the Colts.  There is no way on this green Earth that the Colts would be a contender without Peyton Manning.  Try to convince me that the Colts defense could take them to the Super Bowl without Mr. Audible himself carrying the offense.  What’s that?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Alexander impacts the Seahawks more than any other player impacts their team in the NFL right now.  I see Laurence Maroney taking a similar path as Alexander to stardom. He may fly under the radar, go unnoticed on Sportscenter, and have to settle for the end of the highlight reel because of a Mr. Reggie Bush.  And unless Maroney puts up 200 yards rushing and five touchdowns in a game, he will still fail to top the story of Terrell Owens infamous hamstring.  But if he runs the way he can, he will unleash his inner beast, and the National Football League will feel his wrath.

Maroney may come up slowly being the backup to Corey Dillon, but he is accustomed to being in the backup role as he has shown in college and he will thrive on it. He will prove why he should be the number one stud of the Pats.  Slowly, but surely, he will make his way to stardom. And by next year, he will be the starting running back for the New England Patriots.  If not sooner.  Mark my words.  Before you know it, he may even be on the cover of Madden 09′.  

Don’t worry.  I do not blame you for not knowing about Laurence Maroney sooner.  The casual sports fan cannot know about Laurence Maroney by just watching Sportscenter because the media is infected with the T.O. plague.  They are having a Terrell Owens preseason marathon, and nobody is going to stop them.  They are backed by an arsenal that includes Michelle Tafoya and Suzie Kolber.  They are going to let nobody deprive them of their in depth T.O. hamstring coverage and their delusional paranoia surrounding the explosion of Bill Parcells.  Which, by the way, doesn’t even exist.  No matter what, they are going to get their T.O. time in.  It doesn’t matter if President George W. Bush himself, gets assassinated.  If Owens misses practice, ESPN will have it no other way than to make T.O. once again, the top story.

In a world we live in with three dollar gas, a C student President, and The O’Reilly Factor, it is a shame the media has to focus on a preseason hamstring and not on the exciting future of the best sport in the world.  Professional Football.  ESPN, mark my words. Laurence “Guerilla Warfare” Maroney will shock the world. While the media can ignore it, we are all witnesses. Ladies and Gentlemen.  Are you ready for some football?