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A Sports Medley

by Trevor Freeman

Have you ever had a bad case of writer’s block?  So much so, that it was beginning to affect your overall personality?  All day Sunday I was trying to write a good sports article.  I wrote a bunch of first paragraphs on a variety of topics but could never close the deal.  I was the “buzzed” guy at the bar at 1:00 A.M. who had chatted with five different women during the night, but hadn’t made his move on one and now was desperately trying to salvage some poontang.
With that in mind, this top ten list was formed.  It’s a medley of thoughts on the world of sports.  Without further ado…………..

  1.  Is it possible for ESPN to go five minutes without discussing Barry Bonds?  Would it really kill them?  50% of the people watching hate him and the other 50% don’t care.  So what demographic are they trying to appeal to?
  2.  Hey, if I was a professional athlete I’d spend a night in Paris as well.  Why shouldn’t Matt Leinart add another high-profile notch to the bedpost?
  3.  I think after Miami beats New Jersey tonight, LeBron James is going to have a bunch of new cheerleaders in Miami.  If Cleveland can force Detroit to play seven games, the Heat will be a lot more threatening in the Eastern Conference Finals.

(BTW, this whole Shaq was cruising through the regular season so he could be fresh for the playoffs theory is picking up more steam.  He has looked better the last two weeks than he did all season for Miami.)

  1.  Oakland A’s fans shouldn’t hit the panic button just yet.  With Milton Bradley, Esteban Loiaza, Rich Harden and Justin Duchsherer all on the DL, the A’s are missing an awful lot.  Yet they stand only two games out of first behind a Texas Rangers team that will crumble.  
  2.  The NBA desperately needs a Dallas-Phoenix Western Conference Finals.  It would be the most entertaining playoff series of the past ten years.  Plus, there would be a chance that we could bear witness to biggest kick in the balls of the last five years.  If Steve Nasty were to lead Phoenix through Dallas and into the NBA Finals, Mark Cuban may have to be put on suicide watch.
  3.  After making overtures at Rick Barnes, John Calipari, Steve Lavin and John Beilein…….North Carolina State ended up with Sidney Lowe.  That’s like getting rejected by two supermodels, one “six beer special” and one chick with bad breath and then heading home with the 280-pound former Olympic softball catcher.
  4.  I’m not sure what’s more enjoyable.  Watching Randy Johnson get shelled OR watching Yankee fans watch Randy Johnson gets shelled.
  5.  I think Sam Cassell’s postgame interview in Game 4 when he continually referred to Steve Nash, as “rook” was quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen.
  6.  The New Orleans Saints should play every card they have available to them when it comes to Reggie Bush getting to wear #5.  The #5 Reggie Bush jersey has the potential to break every NFL jersey sales record.
  7.  If this is San Antonio’s last stand…..which it very well might be.  Dallas better make sure they close it out in Game 6.  If if gets to Game 7 in San Antonio, the Spurs are heading back to the NBA Finals.

If you have any questions or comments feel free to e-mail me at [email protected].  

9 replies on “A Sports Medley”

awesome Yes, it’s the lazy writer’s hodge podge column but this is good stuff. Great call on the Steve Nash leads the Suns over the Mavs into the finals.  AS a matter of fact, that’s what I’m rooting for now.

Oh, and congrats on being the first to use poontang in a sportscolumn article.

You know what’s funny I would love to see Steve Nash lead the Suns past the Dallas Mavericks.  Just to see the look on Mark Cuban’s face.  It would be similar to the look that somebody has when they walk into a bar and see their ex-girlfriend giving somebody else the “bedroom” eyes.

Oh…….. and thank you.  I figured it was about time somebody incorporated the word poontang into a column.

Don’t think I’ve ever seen poontang written before Pretty soon you’ll see Rick Reilly using the word in his columns.

I wasn’t thinking of the potential of the Suns-Mavs storyline. I guess they were hyping the Clips going for the upset and the fact that the Spurs could not be beat that it flew right past me. Then again, a lot does.

Shaq = Fat Asshole (is it ok I capitalized the A Frank?) 😛

There comes a time in every mans’ life that he’s gotta go with the catcher. Builds character. Can she wear her medal?

Has Bobby Crosby’s finger healed yet? Can I put him back in my fantasy lineup? Swish is a monster at my DH spot. 10th round pick right after Jeromy Burnitz – swear to God.

Reilly I think the NBA has to be rooting for Suns-Mavs.  That would be an entertaining series from an aesthetic standpoint as both teams like to push the tempo.  Plus the whole Steve Nash getting jilted factor would reign over the series.  

Bobby Crosby is healthy and back in the lineup.  He’s beginning to swing the lumber pretty decently as well.  Has a few homers over the last two weeks.  Nick Swisher has been amazing.  I took a flyer on him in my fantasy draft and he has been a team leader.  The A’s would be in the toilet without him.

I remember in college these two kids I played water polo with use to declare the first Thursday of each month, “No Pride Night” and would always go out and try to bring home the “softball catcher”.  They did it with such gusto that you couldn’t even make fun of them anymore after they kept doing it repeatedly.

I’ve been down some lonely paths before but I am happy to say I’ve never been on Softball Catcher Blvd.

Bonds I agree ESPN way overdiscusses him, but I like how they go live to each of his at-bats. When he hits 714, I’d like to see it live instead of on SporsCenter.

Torre’s Johnson Great note about what’s more fun to watch with the Randy Johnson scenario in New York.  Until you brought it up, I didn’t realize that I actually like watching the Yankee fans watch him get shelled better than just watching him get slapped around outside of Yankee Stadium.  The boos and jeers he gets when he sucks are too much.  Well, at least he can fall back on his poster-boy model-looks when he hangs up the cleats.  

Johnson Watching Yankee fans watch him get shelled is just outstanding comedy.  I took in the A’s-Yanks game on Sunday with a couple Yankee fans and the bitching about him was downright hysterical.  When Jay Payton cranked his first homer of the season (and his first since like August on last year) off Johnson it was like Mt. Vesuvius had erupted.  

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