Look, I watch ESPN as much as the next guy, but I’m also pretty concerned about the direction that channel is headed. Sure, I liked Playmakers and the occasional poker game is okay, but now we seem to get an abomination of an ESPN movie every month or so, and the amount of advertising they put into these things is just stupid. Someone needs to remind the Disney Corporation that ESPN is, in fact, not the Disney Channel. The endless reruns of poker have to go, too. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got no problem with watching poker, but it has the worst replay value of anything ever televised. Would it really be so hard for ESPN to get the rights to other poker tournaments? Apparently, they’d rather just make a ridiculous series about the supposed glitz and glamour of the poker world. I’d rather watch soccer, rugby or any number of college sports on tape delay than another poker rerun, or most of their other “sports” programming.
Most of the time, ESPN feels the need to show pool, bowling, the spelling bee or Scrabble. There should be an actual sporting event on at all times on at least one of the two ESPN channels. I realize it is cheaper for ESPN to buy the rights to “Killerspin Extreme Ultra Death Ping-Pong” than it is to get some European hockey, soccer, rugby or even cricket, but they should at least feel some responsibility to keep us informed on some of the more minor sports. Instead they seem to be trying to keep us ignorant.
SportsCenter is definitely one of the biggest examples of a different ESPN. If I have to sit through another Chris Connelly story about some kid who was half blind in one eye and had an amputated toe who made it all the way to second-string JV running back, I’m going to try to drown myself in my cereal. Does ESPN honestly believe that we’re satisfied with only seeing the scores of MLB, NHL and NBA games after one of those 15-minute sob stories?
The catchphrases have got to go as well. If it’s a spur of the moment thing that they use for a couple days at the most, then it’s somewhat entertaining, but I almost had an aneurism today when I heard Steve Berthiaume scream, “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND,” in nearly every highlight.
Speaking of screaming, why does it seem that most of ESPN’s analysts feel the need to verbally castrate me every time they get their minute of airtime? Stephen A. Smith, I get that you know about the NBA, but I don’t want to be annoyed every time your head is on my television. ESPN seems to be going with volume of voice over volume of knowledge lately, getting rid of people like David Aldridge and bringing in people like Skip Bayless (who, I’ve been convinced, is not a real person, but an elaborate gimmick meant to piss people off), the aforementioned Smith and any number of former athletes who apparently think they’re still on the field. I don’t mind watching shows like Pardon the Interruption, because they don’t yell most of the time.
The announcers are fairly inane as well, the Sunday Night Football crew being the biggest culprit. During the Seahawks-Rams Wild Card game, Joe Theismann commented on a couple replays of a Darrell Jackson touchdown by saying, “Look at him cut across the field there, and there he is again!”
Another thing I dislike about ESPN these days is their coverage of a certain few anointed teams. You know the teams I’m talking about, and know them well if you watch ESPN. Teams like the Lakers, the Red Sox or the Yankees. These few teams get 80 percent of the coverage on ESPN on any given day. It seems as though every other week I turn on SportsCenter, they have a, “special, five part series on the Lakers.” After the All-Star break in the MLB, all you saw on SportsCenter were nonstop stories about the Yankees and the Red Sox, which will hopefully subside now that the “curse” is over.
They do the same thing with certain players too, the most obvious of which include Brett Favre and Michael Vick. I know they do this on every station, but it’s really just getting ridiculous with the endless praise heaped on them; nobody is as good as they’re made out to be. The last Sunday night game with Green Bay on ESPN, I was half expecting to hear something like, “Favre fumbles in his own endzone, the ball is loose…touchdown Packers,” with the way the announcers were talking about him.
ESPN needs to bring SportCenter back to its original plan of highlights and information first, with entertainment a distant second. They also need to get some analysts and announcers who actually know what they’re talking about and who don’t scream to get their points across. The most important thing though is to have a sport on one channel 24/7. It would be all right if there was another channel that did what ESPN used to do, but not everyone gets ESPN News, and every time I turn on Fox I am overwhelmed with the overall pointlessness of shows like The List. Until ESPN gets some competition, it is extremely unlikely they’ll do anything but continue to follow the path that MTV blazed, but here’s hoping that they make the “E” in the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network a little smaller.
5 replies on “I jus’ wanna’ watch sports- daddy”
edited for format -editor
You Have A Choice I will grant you that Skip Bayless is an idiot. How that man has been in journalism for decades is beyond me, and why he is on TV is even more absurd. I will also grant you that Stephen A. Smith is a very good basketball analyst but that he is verbally abusive on TV and angering to listen to. Lastly, I will grant you that Joe Theismann would probably announce a game even if he was the only person listening, because that’s the only person he cares about hearing. After those points, I could not disagree more with your bashing of ESPN, the network that has revolutionized the sports world, and that we take for granted everyday, not remembering the world of the sports fan before its existence.
First off, you have a choice. You do not have to watch ESPN. There are many ways to get your sports coverage, and no one is forcing you to choose ESPN. The fact that you do must mean that they provide the best coverage. If the yelling bothers you so much, or if you really hate the catch phrases but want to see the highlights, then turn the volume down, you have that control. Mute the TV, do your own commentary to the highlights, you might even have some fun with it. But if you don’t want to hear them, then don’t…its quite simple.
I will grant you that the reruns that are shown during the daytime hours are not the most exciting pieces of sports entertainment I have ever seen, and that the dramatic flop in the last hand of the No Limit 7-Card Stud tournament looses some of its flair when you have seen it four times. But again, don’t watch it. The day-time programming for ESPN is basically just a filler until more is happening in the sports world. The games of ping-pong and pool may not interest you terribly, or me for that matter, but these types of events are no different from the types of coverage that ESPN had at its inception. Would you really rather watch the America’s Cup? Maybe you would, maybe you are an avid sailor, but there are also people who are pool sharks that probably like to emulate the trick shots they see on those competitions. There is programming out there for everyone, and ESPN does a good job of covering a wide range of these events. Again, if it does not interest you, then don’t watch it. Read a book.
The idea of the European sports leagues being televised is interesting, and might catch the interest of some viewers, but I’m sure there is a reason ESPN had yet to venture into this genre. Especially with the NHL currently out of commission, I’m sure that if it would be profitable for them to show games in European hockey leagues with NHL stars, they would have jumped at the chance. We do have to remember that ESPN is a business first, and they will do what they need to do to make their profit. If we forget this, or expect otherwise, then we are living in a bubble.
Speaking of living in a bubble, how can you complain about the coverage of a handicapped child whose community has embraced him, and who has used sports to boost his confidence and become a part of his school. In a time when half of the stories on SportsCenter revolve around court dates, investigations, and rape charges, I would gladly sacrifice the highlight of Gerald Wallace promoting himself by pounding his chest after his routine uncontested dunk in the Bucks-Bobcats game (that is a purly hypothetical example, I have nothing against Gerald Wallace) if it meant being able to see an uplifting story about a boy who used sports to better his life. I think we can all learn from these stories and these are the kinds of stories you should be sharing with your children.
People love to bash ESPN for their self-promotion and their gimmicks. They do promote themselves, but they do a fantastic job at it. You can not tell me that you don’t enjoy those commercials for SportsCenter. They are fantastic. So what if, ESPN promotes its movies for weeks at a time. They’re not that good, they have to do something to get people to watch. And I will admit that I watched “3” and that the only reason for that was the constant promoting of it by ESPN. I have no interest in NASCAR and the movie was just ok, but they got me to watch, and so they did their job. It’s not hurting you to see a “3” flashed up on the screen a few times a game. If it bothers you that much, don’t watch.
ESPN does a wonderful job of providing us with the sports information and viewing chances that we take for granted because sports are everywhere today. People need to not bash everything ESPN does and appreciate the coverage they offer and enjoy the sports they provide.
choice you’re right and my choice is mostly to tune into NFL channel. I get my sports news from ESPN.com or Sportsline.com. I don’t mind the filler entertainment. Hell, they gotta program 24 hours a day. I laugh at it but putting figure skating against NFL games is probably the only thing they can do. Poker is kinda boring but I do watch the Worlds Strongest Man stuff when nothing else is on.
But you have to admit their commentators and analysts have become way over the top. Aside from Stu Scott, every sportscenter reporter is pretty nondescript, which is fine because they’re just talking heads. The catchphrases are 10% humorous, 90% tired. Stu Scott is 100% tired. The “analysts” are the ones I can’t stand. They just talk out of their ass and change their tunes day in and day out depending on the weather. Think about this for a second, Michael Irvin (!) is the best football analyst they have. MICHAEL IRVIN!
There is one place where you don’t have a choice – the Sunday night game. That crew is brutal to listen to and Theisman might be the most biased commentator right now. And that’s saying a lot. I wish somehow they get rid of that crew or someone else gets the rights to the sunday night football (unlikely).
Did you read the last couple sentences? There isn’t a regular station that does what I’m asking, and I don’t want to always have to be on the computer.I’m getting the package with all the Fox Sports channels this weekend, the ones that cover Euro sports and minor college sports, but it’s disappointing that I should have to, I guess the filler entertainment bothers me more than most. I think most minor leagues would jump at a chance at more recognition, but I could easily be wrong, that’s just speculation.
Also, I just don’t really feel that a person having a little tiny problem, but still SOMEHOW making it through to play sports is that big of an issue. I don’t mind the ones about people with serious problems, and many of those are actually touching, but they’ve been stretching to make us feel bad for some of these people lately, the worst example of which is the one where the coach was yelling at the girls, which made them feel bad. Oh no, you’re coach was yelling at you, that’s unheard of!
great article i thought it was halarious, good work