I’ve heard that there are two different times of the year. There is football season, and there is waiting for football season. With about 50 days left (depending on which day you read this) until the kickoff of the NFL season I thought it would be fun to list some entertaining activities to occupy your time. Understand that these range from the mundane, to the ludicrous, to “Hey, maybe I could actually do that.” This column is all in fun and some of the activities listed should be performed at the readers own risk (of embarrassment). The following are in no particular order.1.Play 52-card pickup and only pick up one card a day.
2.Play the card game War until someone loses.
3.Start writing that best selling novel you’ve always thought about.
4.Continue watching the Brett Favre v Packers saga.
6.Start a rumor about why you think Peyton Manning’s surgery will drive him to never play again (this is not recommended).
7.Practice your sports commentating skills in the mirror so that when Sept 4 comes you will be the best play-by-play announcer in your house (or possibly, the world…)
8.Mathematically figure out how many seconds are left until kickoff, and then start counting down. This will in essence appear to make time go faster.
9.Sing 999 bottles of beer on the wall.
10.Play a full season of Madden with all 32-teams. If you don’t win the Super Bowl with a particular team, start that team’s season over and try again until all 32-teams have won the Super Bowl because of your awesome gameplay.
11.If you are in to fantasy football participate in a lot of mock drafts.
12.Also, read Fantasy Football magazines, blogs, people’s comments, and websites to help with draft strategies. An added bonus is that this gives you knowledge when arguing with your friends about the all important topics of who are the best sleepers and which players are going to be the biggest busts.
13.Pop in an old DVD of a Mel Brooks film and have a laugh, or, if you don’t like Mel Brooks, laugh at how horrible you think it is.
14.Go up to random people in the street and explain to them why this year is your favorite NFL team’s year (even if you are a Dolphins fan, no offense).
15.Start speculating about how your favorite team will get an awesome player from another team in a trade even though in reality it will never happen. This keeps you in a sense of excitement until the actual day of kickoff when reality sets in.
16.Re-learn all the states and their capitals. If you’ve got this mastered, move on to countries. If you know that already, ponder why Pluto isn’t a planet.
17.Consider who could be the next NFL star (or former star) to be on Dancing with the Stars.
18.Ponder life’s tough questions, such as, are Tupac and Elvis still alive? Will Paris Hilton go back to jail? Will Lindsay Lohan ever look like a human being and not a stick figure?
19.If you live in an area where it snows, consider what will be the best type of “snow-thing” to make this winter (i.e. snowman, snow-woman, snow-child, snow-dog, snow-sled, snow-grill).
20.Count to 100, 100,000 times.
22.Go to Toys R Us and scream, “I’M NEVER GOING TO GROW UP!!” and then proceed to find the nearest set of stuffed animals to hide behind.
23.Watch the Spanish channel and make up your own interpretation of what is being said. For example, in a serious scene you could pretend that the actors are arguing about who will go pick up a pizza, or take a movie back to blockbuster.
24.At any random time throughout the day, go up to a friend or family member and scream, “ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!??”. After that, slowly walk away. If you would like, finish singing the Monday Night Football theme song in its entirety.
25.Everyday work on your ability to be a quarterback and a wide receiver at the same time. Throw a ball in front of you and try to run and catch it. Note: You may want to practice this a few times before you go trying to show off to your friends. The only person I know that could do this well is The Flash, or Superman.
26.On the topic of superheroes, speculate with your geek friends (if you have any geek friends) about what superheroes would make the best NFL Squad. Couldn’t you just see a Marvel VS DC Super Bowl?
27.The Classic: Play football with your friends in Wal-Mart using those little knock-off Nerf footballs.
28.In a crowded movie theater, during a quiet moment yell your favorite team’s name and the following phrase, “[Team Name] are going to the Super Bowl yeah!!!” A yelling of “I’m ready for football!!” also works in this instance.
29.Go see a movie.
30.Last, but not least, the Summer Olympics start in August. Because they are once every four years you should watch the events. If you miss them, I’m not sure I could give you a list long enough to pass the time until the next Summer Olympics.