Just Call Me Captain Optimistic

I’m trying to be optimistic. It’s my New Year’s Resolution. I look around at the disaster zone that is Philadelphia sports and I say to myself, there HAS to be something positive that I can take from this mess. I MUST find something to put my energy into. So I’ve made a list of some of the things I’m thankful for in the sporting world of Philadelphia.The fireball that is Jeff Garcia- That little man runs around the field before, during and after games like a leprechaun. I’ve never seen someone more excited to play for the Philadelphia Eagles than this guy. Sure his stay on the wobbly podium of Philadelphia sports heroes will be short lived, but at least we’ll have some fun seeing him prance around the field.

Joni Pitkanen hitting the net- So this Finnish “wonder boy” is probably the worst defenseman in the entire universe, but every now and then he hits the net. I mean, usually he hits people, fans, skates, glass, refs, popcorn vendors and himself before the puck even reaches the crease, but at least his aim is getting better. Now the rest of his game is different, but I’m all about the optimism here.

The absence of the E-A-G-L-E-S chant from non-Eagles events- The sports Gods must have heard my prayers this year, because it seems the bandwagon Eagles fans haven’t come out of the woods yet screaming the most annoying chant in sports. I heard it briefly brought up during the competitive 6-2 Flyers loss on Saturday, but it was immediately extinguished once Derian Hatcher touched the puck. That’s when the boos started.

The Flyers and Sixers thinking they are going to make the post season- Everyone needs a good laugh and I get mine when I hear Kyle Korver of the Sixers and Simon Gagne of the Flyers telling the media and fans that they still have a shot at making the post season. There’s nothing wrong with living in a fantasy world. Heck, most Philly sports fans do. But if these two guys think that either team is going to make a serious run for a title, they need to go google their respective teams, look at their records and then come back and tell me they still have a shot.

 The Eagles realizing that teams with losing records don’t make the playoffs- Somewhere, somehow, the Philadelphia Eagles realized that they were the only hope when it came to stopping Philly fans from jumping off the Ben Franklin Bridge. With their little jumpy leprechaun leading the way, the team is about ready to clinch their division and managed to shut T.O. up for a second game. That’s a lot of optimisim right there, my friends.

The Philadelphia Phillies realizing that winning teams equal happy fans- After pulling a typical Philly sports team tradition by just barely missing the playoffs, the Phillies realized that all those empty seats at the new Citizens Bank Park weren’t a fluke. Not even Ryan Howard’s MVP season and Chase Utley’s pretty face could make Philly fans go to a game in 90 degree weather. Thankfully, the Phillies added Freddy Garcia and Adam Eaton to their roster in the hopes that they might actually make the playoffs. This might amount to a big bag of nothing, but hey, at least it shows the Phillies are optimistic about their chances.

 Everybody from Philadelphia suddenly thinking they’re Rutgers football fans- I went to Rutgers and trust me, no one outside of our campus was cheering for that team before this season. Most people who were, immediately turned scarlet red when they admitted they were a fan. Many of us Rutgers students really just went to the games for tailgating and an excuse to not have homework over the weekend. I remember professors begging us to go to the games and then giving us extra credit if we did. Then I go and do something stupid like graduate and the team suddenly starts playing football and tickets are impossible to get. My neighbors, who are Rowan University graduates, start hanging Rutgers banners out their windows and “bleeding” scarlet red and black and Rutgers merchandise starts appearing everywhere. But, in keeping with my new found optimism, I say “Go Rutgers!”  As for all the Rutgers bandwagoners, I’ll see you in March when you jump on the Temple basketball wagon.

Bobby Clarke transforming into Paul Holmgren- Just when my heart couldn’t take anymore, Bobby Clarke has morphed into Paul Holmgren, the new GM of the Flyers. They talk the same, think that “uh” is a verb, noun and pronoun, and both seem to think that the Philadelphia Phantoms are the answer to the team’s problems. Sheesh. I was nervous there for a second about Clarkie’s resignation, but I see now he’s just put on a disguise. Maybe Bernie Parent will morph into Robert Esche, Dany Heatley will morph into Jeff Carter and Chris Pronger will morph into Joni Pitkanen and my prayers will be answered?

So as the New Year dawns on my horizon, and the Flyers have one more shot at winning a game in December, here’s hoping that 2007 will give me a Stanley Cup, Super Bowl Championship, NBA Championship and MLB World series. I’m not saying any of that will happen in Philadelphia, but at least four sets of fan bases can join my optimistic bandwagon.