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Breaking Down The NBA Draft

by Trevor Freeman

I don’t know what it is about the NBA Draft, but it always lends to great moments.  From Steve Francis crying in disgust after being drafted by Vancouver to Priest Lauderdale storming out of the crowd to shake David Stern’s hand after being picked, the Draft is always top-notch.  However this year’s version reached epic proportions on Wednesday night.  For last night after the Knicks picked Mardy Collins, ESPN decided to send Mark Jones into the crowd to interview a Knicks fan.  The fan (who was clearly lubricated) ripped Isiah Thomas on national television in what was an outstanding Brooklyn accent.  I can only imagine what the producers of the draft were screaming in Mark Jones microphone when he cut the fan off.  Outstanding comedy.  Outstanding Draft.  
After watching four and a half hours of draft coverage, I am ready to hand out my draft grades.  Instead of handing out conventional grades, we decided to go a different direction.  We begin with……

“She’s 240 pounds………she’s the catcher on the softball team…….you wouldn’t hang her picture on the refrigerator.”

Toronto:  I’m going to let Michael Lewis take this one……….

“The selections made are, from the A’s point of view, delightfully mad.  Eight of the first nine teams select high schoolers.  The worst teams in baseball, the teams that can least afford for their draft to go wrong, have walked into the casino, ignored the odds, and made straight for the craps table.”-Moneyball

New York:  There’s good times and then there’s watching the New York crowd react to hearing the name “Renaldo Balkman” announced.  This pick is definitely Isiah’s way of extending the middle finger to the men of www.selltheknicks.com.  

Boston:  Danny Ainge must have been smoking crack when he decided to ship the #7 pick for Sebastian Telfair.  I know you got rid of Raef LaFrentz’s contract………but still……..why not take Randy Foye?  Foye is a sure thing while Telfair has been an unmitigated bust in his first two NBA seasons.  Then you follow that up by trading back into the first round for Rajon Rondo who also plays point guard.  Unless there is another deal coming, I just don’t see what Boston is trying to do.

New Orleans/Oklahoma City/Wichita/Carson City/Omaha:  Drafting Hilton Armstrong and Cedric Simmons is like stopping by Taco Bell and picking up the twelve pack of Bean Burritos after a night of drinking.  You can do it.  I just wouldn’t recommend it.

Seattle:  Robert Swift……….Johan Petro……..Saer Sene……  This is what is called “ALIENATING YOUR FAN BASE”.  I think this is just Seattle’s punishment for having a great bar scene and extremely “friendly” women.  If the men out there had top-notch sports teams……it would just be unfair.

Golden State:  No player was more destined to be a Golden State Warrior than Patrick O’Bryant.  He’s going to suck.  I know it.  The other 14 ½ Warriors fans know it.  I said it once and I’ll say it again.  The Warriors need to arrange a time share on Billy Beane.  Is there any Warrior fan out there who doesn’t think Beane could do a better job than Mullin?  

L.A. Clippers:  I liked seeing Paul Davis get drafted.  It’s good to know that there is a market out there for 6’11” guys that stink.  

Phoenix:  The Suns traded their way out of the first round which came as a huge surprise to me.  For a team that lacked depth in the playoffs this year, one would have thought that they would take the best college senior on the board in the hopes that he could take up 15-20 minutes a night next season.  

Detroit:  The Pistons took Will Blalock………..there’s a 98.4% chance he is suiting up for Fayetteville of the NBDL in their season opener.

“Her last name was Fullbright.  Everybody in high school took her out for a ride.  Her body isn’t bad…..her face……..well just close your eyes and pretend she’s Jenna Jameson.”

Philadelphia:  Actual text message conversation between me and www.sportscolumn.com editor Vin Diec during the draft.

Vin:  Who did we draft?

Me:  Thabo Sefolosha.

Vin:  wtf?!?!?!

Me:  Hey, he’s from Switzerland.  Those guys generally make it.

Vin:  f*cking Billy King

Luckily for Vin, the 76ers traded Sefolosha for the draft rights to Rodney Carney.  That being said, I can’t see why the 76ers wouldn’t have taken Marcus Williams.  Williams would have made a ton of sense for Philly.

Washington:  I would have loved to have been hanging out with Gil Arenas and his boys when the pick of “Oleksiy Pecherov” came across the television.  Can’t you just imagine Gil Arenas holding a glass of Cristal and hanging out…..and then making the “bitter beer” face when this pick came across the wire?  

Indiana:  Shawne Williams is an exceptional athlete; however he is at least three years away from contributing.  This pick smacks of “best athlete on the board”.

“It’s nothing to write home about………but it’s nothing you’ll get made fun of for either……..”

Milwaukee:  I liked the pick of David Noel in the second round.  North Carolina guys generally stick around in the league and I could see Noel settling into a George Lynch type role for the Bucks.

Chicago:  Tyrus Thomas might be the most talented player in the draft and I think he can step in right away for the Bulls.  He’ll block shots and rebound and join Michael Sweetney and Tyson Chandler in solidifying the Bulls frontcourt.  The Thabo Sefolosha pick is somewhat surprising.  I would have just taken Rodney Carney and held onto him.  

Atlanta:  The Hawks are taking a lot of criticism for taking Shelden Williams at #5….and yes the smart move would have been to trade down to #10 if you liked him that much.  That being said, you know what you’re getting with Shelden.  He’s 12, 12, and 12.  That stands for twelve points and twelve rebounds for the next twelve years.  Williams could easily have a better career than LaMarcus Aldridge.

Denver:  I liked the Leon Powe pick.  Powe was one of the best five high school players in the country four years ago.  The only thing that separated him from being a big-time college basketball player was knee problems.  If he can stay healthy, he can contribute.

San Antonio:  The Spurs select Damir Markota who unexpectedly came storming out of the crowd sporting the loosened tie.  I’ll give them average marks based on Markota’s frazzled appearance.

“A solid B.  Not too shabby.”

L.A. Lakers:  This pick was a given.  Jordan Farmar will beat Smush Parker out for the starting point guard job by the third game of the preseason.

Portland:  Getting University of Washington product Brandon Roy makes up for the fact they passed on Adam Morrison to take LaMarcus Aldridge.  Picking up Dan Dickau in the trade with Boston also may alleviate the disappointment their fans must have right now.  That being said, Portland could have walked out of this draft with Adam Morrison and Brandon Roy, which would have been a home run.

Dallas:  The rich got richer here.  Maurice Ager is an explosive athlete who will only add to an already deep and talented roster.

Utah:  I love Ronnie Brewer’s athleticism………but that jump shot……it’s just not natural.  The Dee Brown pick in the second round was outstanding.  Combining him with his old college teammate Deron Williams in the backcourt will make for outstanding chemistry.

“Did you see that?  Did you see that?  Oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who’s the Man?  I’m the Man!”

Charlotte:  The combination of Michael Jordan and Adam Morrison will transform the Charlotte Bobcats.  They are my dark horse team to make the playoffs next season.  Morrison is a killer and hanging out with Michael Jordan will only make him more serial.  Morrison went third and he will end up being the best player in this draft class……..just like Mike.

Orlando:  I loved the J.J. Redick pick.  He will combine with Jameer Nelson to form one of the NBA’s better backcourts and serve as the perfect inside-outside complement for Dwight Howard.

New Jersey:  Rod Thorn must have been doing backflips when Marcus Williams fell to them at #22.  It’s not that often you can get the best point guard in the draft that low.  Williams can step in right away and play 16 minutes a night which will make Jason Kidd fresher for the playoffs.  The Josh Boone pick was also nice.  Boone can’t throw a rock into the ocean, but he can block shots and rebound.

Cleveland:  The Shannon Brown pick was one of the best picks in this draft.  At the very least, Brown will provide instant energy off the bench.  Toss in the fact that he is boys with LeBron and it’s just a home run for Cleveland.  Daniel Gibson at #42 was an outstanding value pick.  He would have been a first round pick next season had he stayed in school.

Memphis:  Jerry West likes athletes and he got the best one in the draft in Rudy Gay.  I’m in the camp that too many people picked apart Rudy Gay and Adam Morrison because they were generally regarded all year long as the two best prospects in the draft.  Rudy Gay could easily be Scottie Pippen.  

Kyle Lowry was also a fantastic pick by Jerry West.  Lowry would have been the best point guard in next year’s draft had he opted to stay in school.  He can break anybody down off the bounce.

Sacramento:  Quincy Douby is a “Moneyball” type player.  In Douby, the Kings got a guy who averaged 25.4 points and shot 46% from the field in the Big East conference.  He could easily be an 18-20 points per game scorer in the NBA.  Treeeeeemendous pick by the Sacramento Kings.

Houston:  I loved trading their pick for Shane Battier.  He instantly makes them a better team and is the perfect complement for T-Mac and Yao.  This was definitely a trade Jeff Van Gundy was behind.  Getting Steve Novak in the second round was an absolute steal.  I could see him getting immediate time at the 4.  Novak might be the best perimeter shooter in the draft.

Minnesota:  I absolutely loved the drafting of Randy Foye.  He could easily be a star in this league.  A lot of people call him a poor man’s Dwyane Wade.  In my opinion, Foye is somewhere between Gilbert Arenas and Ben Gordon.  Foye can step right in and make the Timberwolves better.  Their second round pick Craig Smith is also a sleeper.  He’s a burly guy who can rebound the basketball.

Miami:  Their first round pick was included in the trade for Shaq.  That seems to have worked out pretty well for Miami.

Finally, there was an important lesson learned from this draft.  More drunk Knicks fans need to be involved in the commentary of these proceedings.  Please indulge us David Stern.  Until next year………….

If you have any questions or comments feel free to e-mail me at [email protected].  

17 replies on “Breaking Down The NBA Draft”

great summary After being out all night at the Giants game, it was good to see this breakdown of the draft.

I guess I’m a Minnesota fan now.

That’s so funny… I was at a restaurant and half-watching the draft when I noticed the Knick fan being interviewed. I thought to myself: who is this douche and why are they interviewing him? And, I hope he’s ripping the shit out of them too.

Speaking of wtf’s, why did the Celtics trade FOR Telfair?

Thank you. I love watching the NBA Draft.  To me, it is one of my favorite ten sporting events to just settle into the chair and tune into.

The Knicks fan His interview has definitely leaped into best twenty things I have seen on television this year.  He just started ripping Isiah Thomas and you could tell that he had definitely had a few cocktails before they started interviewing him.  Outstanding work out of Mark Jones who is I’m sure hearing about it this morning.

I didn’t like the Telfair trade at all.  Telfair has pretty much been a bust his first two years in the league.  Granted Boston also got Raef off their hands, but I’m not sure getting Raef off of your hands is worth tossing the #7 pick into a deal.  Ratliff and Raef have essentially the same contract except Theo has two years left and Raef has three.  

On paper Boston just traded Randy Foye, Raef LaFrentz, and Dan Dickau for Theo Ratliff and Sebastian Telfair.  To me that is a terrible trade.  Randy Foye is easily the best player in that deal.

even if you get the Lafrentz albatross off your neck, you just gave up what many people thought was the stud of the draft to get Telfair, a player that’s labeled a bust and a reach by Portland two years ago.  

Then Portland turns around and trades away Foye to Minnesota.  Is it possible that Danny Ainge runs the Trailblazers too?

Blazers They had to turn around and trade Randy Foye for Brandon Roy or else they might as well just fold up the franchise.  Not picking Adam Morrison alientated about 95% of their remaining fans.  At least by picking Brandon Roy they offer a nice truce to the people who wanted to riot outside the Rose Garden after they passed on Ammo to take LaMarcus Aldridge.

When the SIXERS picked that dude from Switzerland (I was looking on at my BlackBerry) – I was ready to get online the next day and make Billy King’s life a living hell in anyway possible.

Luckily they grabbed Carney-asada Steak.

Carney He is an incredible athlete.  Him and Igoudala give the 76ers two very athletic wing players who can D up for the next twelve years.  I was just surprised that Marcus Williams wasn’t the pick.  I thought he made a ton of sense for Philly.

even as a big AI fan I’m glad the AI era is done in Philly.  Let’s hope he doesn’t get traded to the Celtics.  

Teams I wish they’d trade him to (without regard to cap or trade implications) so I can still root for him:

  • Minnesota
  • Charlotte
  • Golden State
  • Portland
  • Seattle
  • Sacramento
  • Denver

AI I think drafting Carney means that trading AI is going to happen.  Carney and Igoudala will be the 2 and 3 of your immediate future.  

I can see Boston sending Delonte West, Theo Ratliff, and Al Jefferson and draft picks for AI.  I would have to think Philly would force Delonte to be in any deal.  West represents a link to St. Joe’s and the storied Big Five.  St. Joe’s alums are hardcore fans and he’s one of the best players the school ever had.  For PR reasons he has to be included.  Boston has supposedly soured on Jefferson, but he has some real upside.  Theo Ratliff has to be in the deal for money reasons.

I don’t think the trade with Boston is going to happen.  Billy King can’t be that dumb that he wants to see AI in the same division.  

Trades.. I don’t see what all the fuss is about the Telfair trade. Telfair played for Portland..you get 93% of your talent back once you leave that place. He played with headcases like Randolph and Miles that the Trailblazers are still trying to move. I think wherever Telfair ends up, even if not Boston, he’ll finally come into his own as the 20yr old phenom he is. Yeah, the guy’s 20.
Bone head is Houston trading Rudy Gay and Stromile Swift for Shane Battier…what dumba$$es. You could have gotten Battier for that 2nd round pick and one next year. T-Mac is becoming the Chad Pennington of basketball and NOBODY on that team can score. The Rockets will sucks donkey balls again. Glad I’m a Dallas fan.

Trades I think the Battier trade could eventually look bad ten years from now but in the short-term he is exactly what the Rockets need.  He’s actually got a lot of value in the league because he is an outstanding perimeter defender who knows his limitations.  He also and this is big, has a very reasonable contract.  He could be a good third wheel for Houston.  That all being said, I still like Rudy Gay more than most and you are absolutely right in that this trade could be lopsided.  To me Gay could be another Scottie Pippen.

The whole Telfair things comes down to who would I rather have, Randy Foye or Sebastian Telfair.  I think Foye is a much, much, much better player than Telfair which is why I think Danny Ainge got hosed in that deal.

Boston will end up with AI but I think they’ll trade Sczerbiak (or West), Gerald Green, and Jefferson for him.  They won’t give up Ratliff because they need to have a veteran big man down low.  I know Ratliff sucks, but they can’t run with just Gomes and Perkins in the paint all year.  Philly will probably also demand Green as he has a ton of potential.

what the hell do the Sixers need Sczerbiak for?  We already got a pretty white guy on the team that’s only good for offense.

Korver He’s somebody whose stat lines I always like to take a look at in the morning.  Every now and then you see a 3 for 13 from three point range which is absolutely incredible……..incredible in that he has no problem taking and missing 10 triples.

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