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Three To Get Ready

    Asking the NFL to stay out of the headlines during the offseason is asking a lot.       Offseason or not, the National Football League is once again out to prove it can’t avoid the headlines, usually for all the wrong reasons.  Football, like politics, make strange bedfellows which probably explains why Terrell Owens and Cowboy owner Jerry Jones might be sitting down for a chat soon.  If the Dallas owner is bent on selling his soul to the devil to try and win a Super Bowl, T.O. might gladly play the part of Satan.  
     Working late into the night is nothing new for Paul Tagliabue.  No doubt the commissioner wouldn’t mind pitting two of the biggest headaches in his life against each other.  Mr. Paul is finally understanding why his predecessor, Pete Rozelle, drank and smoked.  Since taking over in 1989, he’s spent less time going over football programs than legal briefs.  
     The knock down drag out brawl that was the collective bargaining agreement, would’ve taken its toll on a 30 year old, let alone Tagliabue who’s more than twice that age.  No wonder there’s talk of his retirement?  He’s well aware Rozelle lived barely a half decade into his before ill health set in.  But make no mistake, this also isn’t a job at the local Wal Mart where you can give two weeks notice and say good-bye.  Mr. Paul helped build this multibillion dollar empire.  Yet extricating himself from it might not be such an easy task, at least until some suitable replacements are lined up.  
     Over the past 17 seasons, there must’ve been many times, especially at owners meetings when the commissioner felt like a second grade teacher.  At least the pay and benefits are better.  The major difference being, most, if not all these brats have $1 billion in their checking accounts.  That being the case, it wouldn’t be easy to tell Al or Jerry to go sit in the corner.  Not many seven year olds sue the teacher and their classmates.  
     Meantime the game of musical free agents proves conclusively that you can’t tell the players without a scorecard, or maybe even with one.  Gus Frerotte is with his sixth team since 1994, which goes to show where you’re wanted much go little.  Where you’re wanted little go not at all.  And where you’re not wanted at all, just wait til the starting quarterback goes down.  
     Miami couldn’t wait to acquire Daunte Culpepper who figures to have the same success with the Dolphins that Larry Csonka had with the Giants.  And let’s not forget Brad Johnson who returned to the Vikings after six seasons to be their starter.  Fran Tarkenton returned after just five but he’s the last quarterback to lead them to a Super Bowl and that was a generation ago.   It’s not so much that there’s a sucker born every minute, only that a group of 32 owners make it seem that way.  
     Fortunately for the rest of us, these problems have a way of working themselves out, usually by the time training camp opens.  By then, T.O. will have realized that playing for the Broncos, Cowboys or even Arizona Cardinals is better than stacking jars of peanut butter on a supermarket shelf.  No one stops to ask for your autograph, only where’s the low fat creamy brand?
     As for the commissioner, he’s not ready to ride off into the sunset just yet.  He does however, deserve to enjoy the fruits of his labor.  
     Just try not to slip on the banana peel.  

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