God help us if this happened…What if sports were governed by the Electoral College?
That was a question I found myself asking just about 30 seconds ago as I sat down to type.
I decided to write an article about this, starting with a vague introduction like that good ‘ole essay style and then decided against my better judgment to scrap it and start all over.
So now I reach this point, and I am forced to poll people from all the states as to how I go from here.
South Carolina wants me to stop, but just them and a few other small states won’t stop me, so I’ll continue.
I decided to think about this in terms of college football.
I assumed that USC carried states with PAC-10 teams, Oklahoma carried states with Big XII teams, and LSU carried states with SEC teams. Luckily, no states overlapped.
At this point LSU had 99 votes, with 83 to USC and 79 to Oklahoma. Now I had to fill it in based on common sense.
With the exclusion of Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico, the western U.S. went PAC-10 (Colorado already went Big XII because of conference affiliation anyway). I gave those states to the Big XII along with the northern plain states. Now came the hard part.
I gave the East Coast up to Virginia to the SEC and then I gave New England, New York, and Ohio to the SEC because all those people retire to the south. New Jersey went PAC-10 for some odd reason. D.C. went PAC-10 as well.
Alright, I lied. Maine split its votes 3-1 in favor of the SEC, but one district went to the PAC-10. Those people all retire down to the warmth of New Jersey, which got carried by the PAC-10.
Before the U.S. government came and put me in an insane asylum (say THAT 3 times fast and I mean “in an insane asylum”), I managed to figure out who got the other states.
Pennsylvania and West Virginia went PAC-10 and the rest of the Midwest (except Ohio) went Big XII.
So we had it figured out.
LSU was #1 with 224 votes while Oklahoma was #2 with 163 votes. USC had 151 votes and was out.
Alright, no change there (and for you geeks who want to point out you need 270 votes to win the elections, I want to point out that this was a 3-way election for 2 spots. You only need 1/3 of the vote and I know that Oklahoma failed to have that but they would have gotten it in the House of Representatives; don’t worry).
But what about other sports? How about deciding the NBA finals?
Well, I had barely gotten halfway done when they certified the Lakers the champions.
I gave every state in Western Conference territory to the Lakers under pretenses that more people like the Lakers more than they have heard of the Pistons. Laker fans would get out in numbers to support their team.
I gave them the southeast and it was done. I did not even finish the country. They had 272 already.
So using this method, the Lakers would have been champions. But let’s move on to a more interesting scenario.
What if the Dallas Cowboys, America’s most hated and beloved team took on the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl again. Who would win with the Electoral College?
This was a toughie as most states were within the poll’s +/- 4.5% margin of error and a lot of states were tied. Even some third party candidates without a shot like the Cardinals and the Dolphins could muster up enough votes to sway the tied states, especially in brutally close Florida.
So we must count the vote.
I gave the West mostly to Dallas, but a bloc of states (most notably Utah) went to Pittsburgh due to their blue-collar connections.
I continued with the same guidelines, giving more blue collared states to Pittsburgh and the more white collared states to Dallas. Of course, Pennsylvania went to Pittsburgh. The more agricultural states tended to lean Pittsburgh as well.
New England easily went Dallas because of most of the people hate Pittsburgh due to AFC connections. New York, however, was close do to Buffalo and surrounding cities voting Pittsburgh after those Super Bowl heartbreaks at their enemies’ hands. New York did go Dallas in the end.
The Southeast and the Mid-Atlantic went to Pittsburgh (excluding toss-up Florida). D.C. and Jersey both went Dallas.
That left us with toss-ups in Illinois, Florida, and Michigan. It was 239-234 Dallas without them. Whoever took 2 of these 3 states would win the election.
After a close election, the Cowboys managed to take Michigan as Detroit wanted their Thanksgiving Day partners to do well in their day in the sun. However, the panhandle almost swung the state to Pittsburgh.
Illinois and the Bear fans along with the agricultural south went Pittsburgh, leaving Florida the attention of 78 million viewers on FOX.
Who would win the Super Bowl?
It all comes down to a recount.
Now, hopefully the only recount it will really have to come down to is a recount of points scored that winter Sunday in Jacksonville, but what if we used the Electoral College to decide sports?
Yes, the BCS teams spat out would be the same as those by the Electoral College, but the Lakers would still be champs.
At least in the NFL, it all comes down to Florida, as it should. The Super Bowl takes place there this season and it should be decided there.
Yes, we should get rid of the Electoral College, but it could be much worse. Just think if it governed sports?
Well I’ll leave you with that.
I’ll go change into my 2000 “Electoral College for College Basketball Gonzaga Wins it All” shirt and my “Lakers Win 25th Title in a Row” shorts.
I hope you enjoyed this story on the roller coaster ride it took you on.
And for the record, Dallas is not going to the Super Bowl this year. But if they did, I take them by 28 votes, wait make that points, in Jacksonville.
