In my first months writing for this website I was praying for a good story. I’d wake up, turn on sportscenter, check the local paper, check magazines and find that nothing was going on in the sports world. Oh sure, there was little things. I wrote on The Bobcats first draft (wow, that was memorable), on Steve Nash to Phoenix, On Denver attracting superstar talent, and Coach K dissing the Lakers. BUT WHERE WAS THE BIG STORY?!?!?!? It seemed the sports world had gone on vacation. So i joined it.I took a little earned vacation to Florida to take my mind off the horrible sports summer that was taking place. I laid out by the beach, hit the hot spots, and toured the beautiful cities (I mean come on, it beats Detroit).
THE FIRST DAY I’M THERE! I turn on the TV and it seems Shaq has decided to come visit me, but he staying for the long haul. Shaq moves to Miami and becomes the newest member of the Heat, and I’m not there to write about it. I stared in awe at the TV and then thought “Who didn’t see that coming?” and decided no big loss.
A couple nights later, I turned on Sportscenter at about 5 am to find that Ricky “the Dread-Locked Demon” Williams was calling it quits after failing a 3rd drug test. OK! TELL ME WHO SAW THAT ONE COMING!!!! Shaq to the Heat was one thing, but no more Ricky? Now with him and Rodman retired, who is going to be the next sports star who feels comfortable sporting a wedding dress? Seriously, this is a guy who had 1,372 yards and 9 touchdowns last year, not to mention the second leading receiver, and was the only thing The Dolphins offense had going for it.
There was my big story of the summer and it happened when i was miles away from a computer. So i prayed that maybe, just maybe another big story would happen this summer so that i could finally have something worth writing about.
So a few nights went by that resembled the rest of the sports-less summer that had driven me from Detroit to relax under the Florida sun, when God answered my prayers. Mike Tyson vs Danny Williams. A who cares no-one will watch fight that is just a way for Mike to get out of debt and hopefully out of the spotlight. But that’s where my luck kicks in. I tune in to sportscenter just in time to see Iron Mike get TKO’s in the 4th! Mike Tyson TKO’d by who? Danny Williams? This cant be happening. Once again marooned in Florida with no computer, I rushed to the local Wal-Mart to buy a lap-top, i was desperate. Unfortunately, Wal-Mart forgot to cut the prices that day and so i was screwed by sports once again.
I sulked home, scared to turn on ESPN. Maybe if i didn’t watch, I could pretend nothing happened. But what could be bigger than the Dolphins leading-rusher for the past 2 years retiring, and Tyson getting knocked out by the pride of Britain? Still to scared to watch the TV i went to a local sports bar/restaurant to relax and take my mind off of the sports-writer suicide i was contemplating.
I walk in and see baseball games all around, including my wonderful slumping Tigers. I walk in and take a seat and look all around the bar to look at all the choices i have, when my eyes stumble upon ESPNEWS interviewing Nomar Garciapara. I look at it and see there is a Cubs symbol next to his stats. I laughed to myself and said “someone’s getting fired for that mistake. Finally someone in sports media is more screwed than me.” Then my eyes wandered to the bottom line where…U GUESSED IT!…it reported that Nomar Garciapara had been traded to the Cubs! My jaw dropped to the table and i jumped out of my chair to run to the local Wal-Mart, but realized it was no use. God had teamed up with the sports world to toy with me and slowly make me go insane. I sat back down and gave one of those laughs that crazy people in movies do. I went home that night and cried myself to sleep.
Why couldn’t Shaq make the drama last longer? Why couldn’t Ricky just say NO? Why couldn’t Mike Tyson return to form and win a fight? And why couldn’t Nomar wait til i get home so that i could get in on the action?
Most people think of Florida and see beautiful palm trees, clear blue ocean, and girls in bikinis. I think of the greatest tag team ever, God and Sports, teaming up to ruin my career as a sports-writer before it even got started.
But alas i am home and ready to write about sports again. Will there be another great sports story to write about?
Only God, Time, and more League issued drug tests will tell.