The Yankees suck: And this year- they do….

“Yankees suck!” is a popular chant around Major League Baseball stadiums for years. And for 1996-2004, you’d probably be able to argue. But in 2005, your writer, a true, die-hard Yankee fan, would be inclined to agree…..So here’s where we think the Yankees are sucking it up…..

BATTING

When you have a stellar batting line-up like the Yankees do, you’d expect them to score around 5-8 runs a game. And that’s a conservative estimate. Why? Because if you’re getting paid the best part of $200mn to perform, you bloody should do.

Despite Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield’s big RBI numbers, you can’t let one good night for Alex Rodriguez against pitching powerhouses Tampa Bay let you be fooled into thinking that A-Rod is less money than a homeless person thus far this year. Gosh, he’s left so many on base that if you measured the LOBs by ft instead of numbers, he’d be stretching them out from the Bronx to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.

Derek Jeter’s hot start has cooled a touch, and Bernie Williams has had a rough start to the season. Worse has been Jorge Posada (who’s hasn’t figured in the HR column yet this year). Tino Martinez has knocked in two home runs, but he hasn’t done much else, and Jason Giambi, upon his return from cancer, is striking out way, way too often for a man who’s got a massive reputation of trotting down the first-base line. Oh, since he can’t hit the ball the opposite way if his life depended on it, opposing teams’ have put more of a shift right than a Christian Evangelical Conservatives Convention.

The Yanks have also suffered from years of over-reliance on clutch home runs rather than basestealing and the Billy Beane/Theo Epstein brand of small-ball. Although Brian Cashman tried to change that with the acquisition of Tony Womack, the player was hit by a Toronto pitch in Spring Training and doesn’t seem to have made a full recovery. Ouch.

PITCHING

Quite simply, the most expensive pitching line-up is serving up batting practice.  Randy Johnson(4.47 ERA)’s not putting the fear of God into hitters, who seem to love putting him out of the park. Carl Pavano’s (0-2, 3.68 ERA) getting hit (in one game quite literally!)- and to make matters worse, he’s getting sweet FA in terms of run support. Jaret Wright, on the other hand, is getting the run support but is serving up more crap than the National Sewage Convention. Oh, and to make matter’s worse, Kevin Brown’s first outing of the season yielded six runs. Quite simply, the Yankees have nowhere to look.

And if you think it couldn’t get any worse, try the Yankees’ bullpen- probably the worst in the Major Leagues at the time of writing.

Tanyon Sturtze, the only brightspot on the mound this year, is on the 15-day DL. Set-up man Tom Gordon has gone from “Mr Dependable” to “Mr Terrible” in one season, giving up four earned runs in 7 innings of work. The Red Sox, Devil Rays and Orioles have all used him as their personal red-headed schoolchild and only The Lord knows how he’ll fare against the hard-hitting Blue Jays and Texas Rangers.

Closer Mariano Rivera can’t buy a save against the Red Sox, blowing two at the start of the year. Most of the time, though, the Sandman can’t seem to enter as Gordon & Co seem to enjoy long vacations in the middle innings, rather than the simple 1-2-3.

FIELDING

We all know that Bernie Williams doesn’t have an arm, yet Joe Torre seems happy to play him instead of trading him out in a part deal for a Jason Bay or the suchlike. In fact, hitters are having so much fun that they are trying chip shots over centerfield. Not picking up Carlos Beltran seems unwise now, doesn’t it? Oh, and Jeter and A-Rod are in defensive funks at the moment, giving away priceless at-bats in the later innings.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the line-up will be awful forever. But it had better turnaround before King George gets off his throne for another rant. Fast.