The A.L. East: They’re Back!

It’s fashionable to like the A.L. Central right now. Fine, I can deal with it because the once-toothless Tigers have played great baseball, and that’s kind of cute. But writing off the A.L. East as a Wild Card threat? Gimme a break! Too many baseball analysts have been quick to concede the wild card to the American League Central. The Detroit Tigers are a wonderful story, and the Chicago White Sox may be a breath of fresh air for those weary of the Red Sox/Yankees storyline. The reality is that neither one is a lock to make the playoffs.

Remember when the White Sox had that commanding lead in the Wild Card standings? Not anymore. Suddenly, the Yankees are only 2.5 behind them after trashing the ChiSox in a three-game sweep at Yankee Stadium. Consider that the Red Sox were just one out away from sweeping the White Sox before the all star break in Chicago, too.

In fact, the Red Sox and Yankees are a combined 10-3 vs. the Tigers and White Sox. The teams atop the A.L. central are no better than the big spenders in the East. The X-factor is that they get to feast on the hapless Royals time and again, and playing the Royals is comparable spending a long weekend at a spa.

The Tigers are 11-1 against Kansas City so far, but thankfully those two teams only meet six more times this season. We’ll see what the Tigers are really made of down the stretch, and if they can hang with the big dogs. The White Sox? Well, let’s face it: the joyride for Jose Contreras will end eventually.

I’m not saying that the ChiSox and Tigers aren’t good. They’re both strong teams who belong in contention and are stocked with quality arms. Just don’t pencil them in for two playoff spots yet. Come on, guys. Did you really think the Yankees or the Red Sox would go away?

Besides, there are definitely reasons to hate the White Sox, I.E. their announcers.

I spent hours at work today trying to think of announcers who are worse than Ken “Hawk” Harrelson of the White Sox and not surprisingly, I couldn’t come up with any.

Hawk routinely says things like “c’mon Paulie!” every time Paul Konerko steps into the batter’s box in a clutch situation. I cringe when Jim Thome gets a base hit and Hawk exclaims “Hey-oh!”

Does Hawk Harrelson even speak English? Maybe the WGN execs should just hire Larry the Cable Guy to chip in a “git-r-done!” after each Jose Contreras strikeout. And I die a little each time the White Sox hit a home run and I have to hear the infamous “you can put it on the booaaard, yyes!” call. Is it just me, or do trademark home run calls violate the sanctity of televised baseball?

I haven’t been the same since I heard that home run call after Jon Papelbon gave up the tying home run to Jermaine Dye in the 19-inning affair. During that same game, Hawk actually accused the umpires of calling balls and strikes in favor of the Red Sox, prompting my dad to say that “If I were Major League Baseball, I wouldn’t stand for this kind of verbal abuse.”

Commentary like that should be limited to local sports bars, and even then it’s uncalled for. I think every remote control should come with a “Hawk Harrelson” button where we can mute the announcers but still listen to the in-game sounds.