A Note to the Morons of the Mainstream Media

Is there some sort of law I have never heard about that requires every single sports writer to write and talk about steroids?

Sure, it needs to be reported, but to this extent? To the extent that a fart out of Rafael Palmeiro’s butt (or, so I’m told, it is actually coming out of his face, but it smells just as fishy) gets psychoanalyzed on every major sports program non-stop? To the extent that every time Barry Bonds steps, no hobbles, to the plate we have to mention what he may or may not have been doing for the last ten years that was completely legal to use in Major League Baseball? To the extent that every player who hit a walk-off homerun who was 0-4 with three strikeouts before that in the game is automatically a `roids possible by the media?Come on!

I do care a little, but not that much more than I care that Daniel K. Inouye (DEM, HI) got military construction funding for Hawaii passed by a 98-0 vote in the senate.

But it still dominates the airwaves like the JonBenet Ramsey case did five years ago. Or the O.J. Simpson case a decade ago. Or the Kobe Bryant case last year. Or Terry Schiavo.

Have we really reached the point that the people of the United States are so stupid that they actually care this much about what can only be referred to as crap?

Sure, the unexplainable success of Titanic at the box office, Friends in the Nielsen ratings, and any Mariah Carey song on the Billboard Hot 100 supports such a theory, but I don’t think it really is true. It’s just the media mending us into a single society.

I’m not big on conspiracies so I will not call this a conspiracy, but the media has blended us together into an almost uniform society that likes Titanic and Friends and Mariah Carey and dumb news stories that involve courts.

Watergate was one thing. JonBenet Ramsey was a completely different animal.

With the entire U.S. sports world (and thanks to Congress, the entire world) forced to listen to obnoxious TV and Radio hosts dwell on this subject for the last decade and especially over the two years, we are bound to care and want to talk about it. We may hate the subject, but we are inundated with countless bits of information that we all form an opinion.

It happened with Terry Schiavo. It happened with Kobe Bryant. It happened so many times over the last decade that it is impossible to count.

And no matter where we tuned in, regardless of the “liberal media bias,” Fox News, C-SPAN, ESPN, or NPR, we were told countless different views on every single mindless topic that the media thought the people would care about.

When I was in Seattle in late March and listening to the radio, someone called in and said, “I hope she (Terry Schiavo) dies now so you guys would stop talking about her.”

He was bastardized by almost everyone. But he was right.

Nobody cares!

And the media forces us to listen on and on for hours and days and weeks and months. And in some cases, like that of the use of steroids, years.

Everyone has his own opinion and everyone knows enough based on the endless talks to defend his side with his friends, albeit not with any expert on the subject. And it seems like everyone is now stating his opinion.

Stop it! It is the only way this story will ever die down.

Major League Baseball, believe it or not, is actually working to solve the problem. Other sports have policies and are improving them each year. The Olympics has their own policy and it too is getting better.

The issue is out there and it will remain out there, but let us leave it alone. Let the experts debate it privately and let the organizations take control of the situation like they have been trying to do.

Nothing is ever enough; I know that. But nothing itself is what we have now. Nothing but a bunch of morons running around thinking that they know what should be done on the steroids issue.

Well, I know what should be done: we should all take a deep breath and shut up, `cause nobody really cares.

You did not cry because Terry Schiavo’s body was buried at the cemetery of her husband’s choosing; you did not cry because Kobe Bryant may or may not have continued going after some girl he met asked him to stop; you did not cry because O.J. Simpson was acquitted. So why do you think you should drag out the issue on steroids?

So I beg all the sports writers of this world to please look at yourselves in the mirror and think, do I really want to sit down and beat this bloody horse to death?

Maybe then you will realize that you already have.

Enough is enough.

Steroids = Bad: we get the picture.

Now close your mouths and talk about something else like Charlie Weis calling the first play of the Notre Dame game in the memory of a ten year old boy who had just died due to a brain tumor. That deserves our ears.

“Pass right,” he told Weis earlier that week before he died.

First down Irish.