19 Years and Nothing To Show For It

I think the proper way to get this blog started off is to explain my name: WaitingForAChampionship. Therefore, because I cannot think of anything else to write, this first entry will be devoted to describing the misery I have endured for 19 years.

It’s not easy living being a Philadelphia sports fan. Sure, there have been glory years in the past, but unfortunately for me, they occurred before December 17th, 1986-a date which according to me, is probably the most important day in the last century, beating out D-Day by an impressive margin. My father raised me as an all Philadelphia sports fan- that meant rooting for the Eagles, Phillies, Sixers, and Flyers. God forbid I was a Celtics or Braves fan.  My mother’s contribution to my love of sports? The Kansas Jayhawks, the only team that has provided me with a championship (more on that later). As my father always says, I’m doomed to be disappointed.
My four teams-excluding the Flyers because I hate hockey and the NHL is dead to me- have won 1 championship in my 19 years of life. One stinking championship. Granted, KU’s 1988 improbable run to the Final Four, led by perhaps the most dominating KU player in the last 20 years (Danny Manning) was amazing, but I was about two years old at the time. I could barely take a piss by myself. Kansas has good teams every year-reaching the Final Four in 1991, 1993, 2002, and 2003- but good ole’ Roy could never get them that elusive championship. Hakim Warrick’s incredible block of Michael Lee with under five seconds left sealed the deal in 2004, re-opening all the old wounds and creating even more. And to make matters worse? Roy “Benedict Arnold” Williams wins the 2005 National Championship with Carolina. My agony continued. The knife wound in my back opening even further when Wayne Simien missed a Christian Laettner shot against Bucknell, giving those Patriot League pricks an NCAA tournament win. I vow the following: no one in my family will ever go to Bucknell. My kids will be disowned should they decide to go there.

It’s not like Philly teams haven’t had chances to win championships for us. The Eagles, Sixers, and Phillies-ok fine, even the Flyers-have played in their respective championship games atleast once in my lifetime. The Sixers’ magical run ended in 2000-2001 when they lost to the Lakers in five games. This was the second easiest to swallow-next to the Flyers’ loss to the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup in 1997 simply because I hate hockey- because (a) they were going up against Kobe and Shaq, (b) Dikembe Mutombo started at center, and (c) Kobe and Shaq. Still, the Sixers gave us hope with an epic Game 1 win in which Iverson cemented his 2000-2001 season as one of the best of all time of any player, ever. Regular season MVP, All-Star MVP, Scoring Leader. Hell, he could have been the Defensive Player of the year as well. Still, the Lakers dispatched us and I was left empty once again.

The Phillies had a shot in 1993 against the Toronto Blue Jays. A chance anyway. Anytime you send Mitch Williams to the mound, bad things happen. To recap: Wild Thing comes in, Joe Carter hammers it to left, Blue Jays win. Haven’t been back to the playoffs since. Now that Ed Wade is gone, Jim Thome and his back problem are gone, and a GM with some common sense has arrived-Pat Gillick-the Phillies are predicted to make the playoffs. Wait, weren’t they predicted the last two years too? Oh, wait they were. The Phils can take solace in winning “Biggest Underachieving Sports Franchise” the last two years. Hey!! Consecutive titles!!

The Eagles are the hardest to write about. The Buffalo Bills of the NFC, the Eagles consistently tease, tease, and tease some more. They are worse than a 15 year old school girl. After throwing up all over themselves from 2002-2004 in the NFC championship game, finally getting a premier wide receiver-who promptly destroyed the 2005-06 season-and McNabb staying healthy, the Eagles finally reached the big game in 2005….and threw up all over themselves. It hurts too much to write more. Honestly, if I had balls, I could write a 15,000 word column on the Eagles and the 21st century. Ricky Manning Jr., Ronde Barber, Kurt Warner, Ricky Manning Jr. For about a week after Carolina thumped the Eagles, I had dreams of playing quarterback and throwing interception after interception to Ricky Manning Jr. Scariest dream ever.

Even Big 5 colleges have a tortured past. Look no further to St. Joes. Jameer Nelson and Delonte West led the team to an undefeated regular season. All we have to show for it? Nothing. No A-10 championship, not even an NCAA Final Four appearance. This year the misery continues(well, sort of). Villanova lost Curtis Sumpter in the offseason, and have yet to show that they are title worthy. It will be surprising if the ‘Cats can make a run to a national championship.(For the record, the Wildcats won their national championship about 9 months before I was born). These little examples show that even though I am not a Villanova/St. Joes/Big 5 fan, the “Philly Slump” encompasses all sports, regardless of level.

So here I am. 2006 and still only one championship. A championship I was too young to ever remember. Ever since I can remember, my dad has promised to take me to the victory parade should a Philly team ever win. Doesn’t matter what day, what is planned, nothing. We will be going to that parade. Well, if someone wins a &)^#&)#^ championship that is.