Ricky Williams has walked away from football and everybody is angry. Dolphin fans want his once dreadlocked head and management just wants him to reconsider. There were multiple reasons Ricky gave for his early retirement, but all the focus has fallen on a simple plant know as Cannabis Sativa. Here is the story from a rare point of view. Note to the easily offended; please take this as a tongue-in-cheek article and also get a life.How in the world did I ever get this bad rap? I’m just a natural herb that grows like any other plant in the world. Now I’m back in the news again because some running back doesn’t have the drive, or heart, necessary to compete in the NFL. So what does everybody go and do? Blame the good ole sticky-icky, that’s what.
I’m an easy scapegoat and have never been accepted by society, so all this controversy is no surprise to me. It just gets to you after a while when everybody associates you with someone’s demise. Nate Newton was an All-Pro guard for the Dallas Cowboys who played on three NFL Championship teams. Now he is just a punch line because he happened to have a bit of a green thumb. Ricky Williams is walking away from football because he is happier not playing the game. Then he mentioned the green and suddenly it all became about me.
What really gets me is the hypocrisy of the NFL. The league makes millions of dollars in advertising revenue from Miller and Budweiser, but bans players when a bit of chronic shows up in their urine. I’ll never understand why barley and hops have it so good. Do you really think the Vet in Philadelphia would have ever needed a courtroom under the stadium if I was the main concession? I would make stadiums in Oakland and Detroit much happier places to be on a Sunday afternoon. There would be no rage in the stands if I was floating through the air.
If you want to classify me as a drug, let’s talk about drugs and the NFL. How many pills do you think are flying around an NFL locker room? They are everywhere and actually given to the players…legally!
Hey Brett Favre over here. Is your body suffering a little pain from all those consecutive games you’ve played? Here are a few bottles of Vicodin for you. That will get rid of the pain, no problem. I can’t for see any problems once you start popping these babies.
I mean no disrespect to Brett. He is just an example of one of the many football players who have suffered from an addiction to pain killers, only he was brave enough to reveal his problem publicly. In the NFL you learn to play with pain or you don’t play. To help you endure the pain, the league provides plenty of pills that can help you. Just make sure to take note of the multiple side affects that may occur. Migraines, blood clots, anal leakage, nausea and vomiting are a few of the pleasantries you may experience.
I shouldn’t even blame the NFL since they are just a microcosm of American society as we know it today. If you have any type of physical malady just let these little pills work wonders. Feeling depressed? Have some Paxil or maybe Prozac is more your thing. Feeling a tad anxious? Valium or Xanax can easily calm you down. They even have pills to help get your football into the endzone, if you now what I mean. Drugs are a major part of our society, yet I am shunned while alcohol is the so-called recreational drug of choice.
My opponents will point out that these pills are researched medications authorized for use by the medical community. I will not dispute this. However, I would like to point out that I was also researched thirty years ago and not found to be any more harmful than such hard core drugs like alcohol or tobacco. These finding were than squashed by President Richard M. Nixon, a very trust worthy guy as we all know. Here is a link to that report, for more knowledge about myself.
Now I don’t want to come off like some sort of Saint Bud here. I have my drawbacks just like alcohol and tobacco. My smoke isn’t going to do your lungs any good and I can’t be the best training for a professional football player. Like anything in this world, use me in excess and I am a detriment. In defense of myself, I had to stand up when someone like Ricky gets chastised for smoking a joint or two while thousands cheer him on each Sunday as they plough themselves with alcohol.
I am only a simple plant put on this Earth by Mother Nature. Please consider all the facts before you criticize me. Personally I think Ricky is a crazy man for quitting the game and leaving millions on the table if it’s just for sticky, little me. I’ll be here when you retire RW! Keep grinding it out on Sunday and in five years or so you can light up your retirement with me. So I ask again to please not blame your athlete’s downfalls on me. Why can’t we all just all get along, sit back and sm…well some of you know what I’m getting at.