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1. Milwaukee Bucks
Andrew Bogut – I’m glad this happened; now we’re guaranteed not to go
0 for 30.
2. Atlanta Hawks
Marvin WIlliams – The Al Harrington out of Atlanta watch has
officially begun. Can’t imagine that makes him all that upset. All
`Neal and I really want is to improve on last years mark of 5 for 30
now.
3. Utah Jazz
Deron Williams – As David Stern pauses for dramatic affect, the angry
Knick fans in Secaucus yell at the commissioner to announce the pick.
If I were them I’d watch my back on the way out of the arena tonight.
`Neal and I suddenly have visions of perfection.
4. New Orleans Hornets
Chris Paul – This is pretty much where the sure things come to a
close and the guesswork comes into play. Dick Vitale is raving about
the boy, which is, for me, the best reason for a player not to go to
college.
5. Charlotte Bobcats
Raymond Felton – Does it count if we had Felton going to the Bobcats
at 13? Our dream just went poof.
6. Portland Trailblazers
Martell Webster – Before the trade with Utah, we had Webster going to
Portland at 3. Why did we change that pick? Does anyone know? If he’s
the guy the Blazers wanted all along, it’s a pretty shrewd move by
John Nash to finagle 3 first -rounders out of it. Oh, and Martell’s
grandmother has quite the hat.
7. Toronto Raptors
Charlie Villanueva – Woah, this is the first real surprise, at least
for me. I just can’t believe Gerald Green has fallen so far and that
they drafted a player who plays the same position as their best
player. Stephen A. Smith: “This pick makes absolutely no sense,
whatsoever.” Even Vitale seems stunned. A source just called to tell
me Villanueva won’t be traded. Apparently, the Rapts want him to play
next to Chris Bosh. Curious.
8. New York Knicks
Channing Frye – Our lock of the draft was taken even though Green is
still here. This pick ensures that we’ll do at least as well as last
year. Go us! We won’t be more embarrassed than last year!
9. Golden State Warriors
Ike Diogu – `Neal, 20 seconds before Golden State picked: “I wonder
if the Warriors will do something crazy like take Diogu and throw a
monkey wrench into the whole thing.” Sometimes he’s clairvoyant. Freaky.
10. Los Angeles Lakers
Andrew Bynum – That is so high school. I just wanted to say that.
Phil Jackson isn’t competing for a long time. From what they’re
saying, it sounds like Bynum had some agreement with the Lakers. This
is quite a freefall for Green, eh?
11. Orlando Magic
Fran Vasquez – Never saw this coming. Both of us were sure that Green
wouldn’t go past here even though we had Antoine Wright going to the
Magic originally. I guess Vasquez will play next to Dwight Howard.
Does this mean Steve Francis is staying?
12. Los Angeles Clippers
Yaroslav Korolev – `Neil and I are annoyed with each other. We
changed this one this afternoon. I’m more annoyed at `Neal; he’s been
calling me since yesterday to change this pick to Rashad McCants. I
should have stayed strong. This one hurts. Stephen A. Smith is going
on his first major rampage of the night on Sean May and McCants not
being drafted yet.
13. Charlotte Bobcats
Sean May – Well that ought to make Stephen A. happy. Still, I don’t
know why the Bobcats want Primo, Okafor and May. I wish May had
gotten to 14 just to see if Kevin McHale would have taken him.
14. Minnesota Timberwolves
Rashad McCants – Are both Bernie Bickerstaff and McHale afraid of
Stephen A?! Both were taken as soon as Smith went off! The Commish
didn’t see McCants walk onto the stage and had to tap him on the
shoulder. Hehe. So Danny Granger, Joey Graham, Green and Wright are
still on the board. Who would’ve thunk it?
15. New Jersey Nets
Antoine Wright – Um, am I wrong or doesn’t Jersey already have some
reasonably good wing players? Just the three G’s left now. `Neal:
“That makes no sense, man.”
16. Toronto Raptors
Joey Graham – Yes, Graham is a good pick. But it’s bizarre that he
would go before Granger and Green who were rated so much higher. We
had both of them gone by the 7th pick.
17. Indiana Pacers
Danny Granger – Both McCants and May went back to back, now
we’ve got an opportunity to get the three G’s go back to back to
back. Larry Bird will get a ready made player to step up right away.
18. Boston Celtics
Gerald Green – Celtic Green! And I don’t care if that’s what all the
headlines are going to say tomorrow. After picking both Chris Taft
and Diogu in my mock drafts, I never would have believed that this
guy would fall so far. Just shocking. All Paul Pierce fans, don’t get
too attached.
19. Memphis Grizzlies
Hakim Warrick – The last guy in the green room looks pretty relieved
and at least a little annoyed. Still, he’s a man without a position,
and, even with Gasol around, I’m really not sure where Warrick plays
on that team. The Grizz had to take him, though, if only to work out
their problems with trades later on.
20. Denver Nuggets
Julius Hodge – `Neal and I took Hodge out of our first round this
afternoon and he gets picked at 20. Typical. Just shows how much
parity there is in this draft. And maybe how stupid we are.
21. Phoenix Suns
Nate Robinson – We’re getting a little scared that we’re not going to
improve on last year’s mark. We didn’t have Robinson in the first
round, either. Rick Bucher just announced that this pick was made for
the Knicks in the Q for Kurt Thomas trade. Stephen A. likes this, but
`Neil just asked, “this is Isiah’s grand plan?” I’m in complete
agreement.
22. Denver Nuggets
Jarrett Jack – `Neal: “How many point guards does one team need?”
Given that they now have Andre Miller, Boykins, Hodge and now Jack,
is someone on the move?
23. Sacramento Kings
Francisco Garcia – We had Koralev going to Sac -Town, but he’s been
gone a while. The Kings need a 2 -guard with Mobley leaving and they
did well with Garcia. `Neal is incredulous that we haven’t gotten
anything right since Channing Frye at 8. We’re praying the Rockets
take Wayne Simien next.
24. Houston Rockets
Luther Head – Why do the Rockets persist in getting a bunch of 6’2″
shooting guards to play the point?! Coming into tonight, I was sure
Simien would go here. This doesn’t say all that much for us, now
then, does it?
25. Seattle SuperSonics
Johan Petro – The Sonics are killing us. Not having any idea what
they would do, we chose a center for them. If only it were the right
center. It should give Seattle pause to draft a French big man,
though, after Frederic Weis’ long and fruitful career. Are the Sonics
still committed to Robert Swift?
26. Detroit Pistons
Jason Maxiell – Stephen A. is giving the smackdown to Detroit’s
frontline because Joe Dumars chose Maxiell here. You would think from
listening to him that the Pistons didn’t make the playoffs instead of
taking the eventual champs to a full 7 games. We’re praying Blatche
goes next but it’s being reported that Jack has been traded to
Portland and Denver will get the next pick. Just like the Jameer
Nelson pick last year and `Neal called it as soon as Denver’s
selection was made. Again, pretty impressive.
27. Portland Trailblazers
Linas Kleiza – Maybe I shouldn’t admit it, but I know nothing about
this Lithuanian kid. I’m a little mad at him for messing up my draft,
though.
28. San Antonio Spurs
Ian Mahinmi – The chances of beating our score from last year just
plummeted. We don’t know much about this guy, either, but, given R.C.
Buford’s track record, let’s just say that he’ll be a complete success.
29. Miami Heat
Wayne Simien – Hmmm…do the Heat think they’ll lose Udonis Haslem?
Leaving the fate of my draft to Isiah Thomas is like having Angela
Bassett bat with two outs in Tony’s big game. Right Who’s the Boss?
fans, right? Anyone? [sigh]
30. New York Knicks
David Lee – Nothing like being booed by your home crowd. I’m booing,
too. 5 out of the first 8, and that’s all we got? Sad. At least Isiah
is trying to enlarge his vertically challenged frontcourt.
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