Buried Bonds

Barry Bonds’ baseball career could be over, but his career as a defendant might just be getting started

If baseball is the national pastime, despising Barry Bonds is a close second. He is to colossal jerk what Jessica Simpson is to dumb blond: indistinguishable. It’s his persona. It is who he is. And until yesterday, Barry Bonds didn’t care about his persona. He didn’t care what you, I, or anyone else thought about him. He has been defiant towards the media his entire career. But that all changed at an impromptu press conference in the Arizona desert.Yesterday, in front of a group of reporters, a despondent Bonds discussed the fact that his latest knee surgery (his third since November, and second on his right knee since January) could sideline him for half the season, a full season, or maybe forever. Based on his tone, I’d bet on the latter. Unlike his taciturn, standoffish nature of the past, yesterday Bonds didn’t look, nor sound, like a man who knew what the future would hold. He used the word “tired,” by my count, approximately 587 times. Bonds droned on saying “You [the media] wanted me to jump off a bridge, and I finally did. You finally brought me and my family down……So now go pick a different person.”

It was a far cry from the man whom, just a month ago, lashed out at the media by denying that he ever used steroids or knew what cheating was. He then proceeded to call everyone in the pressroom “liars.”

I’m sorry Barry. Too late for the pity party that you threw for yourself yesterday. Bonds brought these problems on all by his lonesome when he employed an alleged steroid distributor as his personal trainer, when he admitted to naively taking steroids in front of the federal grand jury that is investigating the BALCO lab scandal in the Bay area, and most importantly, he brought this attention to these problems on himself when he became the greatest baseball player on the planet, and probably the best ever. That’s the tradeoff. Earn over $130 million (and counting) for playing baseball, and your private life disappears. Everyone knows this, and if Bonds didn’t like it, he could have been checking the classifieds for the Mexican Winter League. It’s that simple.

But it isn’t that simple for Bonds, at least not now. Now Bonds is embroiled in a federal investigation, looking into charges that he lied on the witness stand (when he told federal prosecutors that he took steroids, but didn’t know what they were) and on charges of tax evasion (his mistress of nine years testified, under full-immunity, that Bonds made cash payments to her, which he earned from autograph sessions, so she could buy a house).

I think that his knee problems are the least of his worries now. If the legal accusations continue gaining steam, then Bonds is through with baseball, regardless if his knee heals or not.

Bonds and Steroids

Barry Bonds’ statistics from 2000 until now – when he was between the ages of 35 and 40 – resemble a stat line that I might have after a season in the five and under tee-ball league. During that time frame, he led the league in batting average twice, hit 73 home runs in 2001, won the last four National League MVP awards, and led the league in walks each of the last five seasons. Last year, he had more home runs than strikeouts! Bonds’ statistics have been staggering, obscene, and most importantly, fraudulent.

Last fall, Barry Bonds admitted taking steroids, albeit unknowingly, to the BALCO grand jury. If that headline is earth shattering news (given his recent statistics) then so is “Bazooka Kills Ant.” Everyone knew that Bonds was on the juice long before his grand jury testimony leaked. I think there was an inkling of doubt about the legitimacy of his feats as Bonds transformed from a 185 pound twig (when he broke into the big leagues) to his current size of a 230 pound specimen, whose muscles are harder than Japanese arithmetic, and that would give Paul Bunyan an inferiority complex. Something tells me that flaxseed oil and dumbbells didn’t induce these types of physical changes.

If the dramatic shift in body stature didn’t convince you that he was on some sort of performance enhancing drugs, maybe his dramatic shift in head size did. In my estimation, his head has expanded from the size of a mini-basketball to the size of Jupiter. But now the writing is on the wall as it pertains to his steroid use. Bonds recently underwent his fourth knee surgery since 1999, and his third since last November. This recent series of surgeries signifies that his body is starting to break down. This happens when someone abuses steroids, and other performance enhancing drugs, for years. The body rebels, and Bonds’ body is. So quick, someone call Matlock back and tell him not to bother coming in, I think I’ve cracked the case of Barry Bonds putting up superhuman numbers myself.

Unfortunately for him, Bonds is about to face a lot more than a guilty verdict in the court of public opinion for his obvious use of steroids. Federal Prosecutors and the IRS are now investigating Bonds for perjury and tax evasion.

Bonds and the American Judicial System

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, on March 17, a woman named Kimberly Bell strode into a San Francisco courthouse, under subpoena and full-immunity, to testify about Barry Bonds’ steroid history and his finances. Simply put, she testified that Bonds had divulged to her that he began using steroids in 2000 and also that Bonds’ provided her with $80,000 in cash – which he earned from selling autographed memorabilia – to serve as a down payment on a home for her near the Giants’ spring training facility in Scottsdale Arizona. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that he conveniently forgot to inform the IRS about the $80,000 he made signing baseballs and how he bestowed the money on Ms. Bell in $9,000 stacks. You know, just a guess.

Kimberly Bell went on to corroborate the story of their nine-year affair with hotel and airline receipts in Bonds’ handwriting. As if that isn’t bad enough, the government also subpoenaed her bank records and 90, yes 90, minutes of voice mail messages that Bonds left on her phone. The contents of the messages were not disclosed, but I can’t imagine there is anything there that Bonds wants federal prosecutors to hear.

Bell’s testimony coupled with the previous testimony of BALCO founder Victor Conte and Vice President James Valente stating that Bonds had received steroids (the “clear” and the “cream”) and the fact that the BALCO grand jury has documents citing Bonds’ use of steroids and human growth hormone, doesn’t bode well for the baseball star.

Perjury? Tax evasion? Can you say “jail-time?”

The Bottom Line

Throughout his career, Bonds has always been perceived by the public as a jerk, and he has always blamed the media for this perception. But I think that this public perspicacity exists simply because he is a jerk, and it is not a result of media portrayal.

Let’s be honest, this is a man who made $100,000 to appear with Alex Rodriguez at an event in New York City this winter and kept the money when Rodriguez, gave his money to charity. This is also a guy who also had a mistress at the end of his first marriage, and then resumed the affair after he returned from his honeymoon with his second wife. What else can you say?

Bonds has always blamed the press for the way he is perceived and for instigating what he believes is a witch hunt to bring him down. But it’s not the media’s fault that Bonds’ skin is green and that he is wearing a pointy black hat. They report what they see, and what they see is a jerk, a cheat, and maybe a criminal.

The somber nature of Bonds’ comments yesterday, might indicate that he finally looked in the mirror and saw what everyone else has seen for years. The reality that his season could be over before it starts, or that his career might have ended early last October, could be sinking in. Then again, he may have sounded defeated because he is being investigated for perjury and tax evasion.

Either way, his tumultuous relationship with the press is not going to draw to an abrupt end. With the potential for a precipitous fall from grace looming, the press will be there every step of the way. After all, baseball and despising Barry Bonds is what this country loves. The only thing we love more is watching a figure of prominence plummet from their perch and Barry Bonds is about to make a massive thud when he hits. This fall from grace would be truly legendary, as Bonds could very likely abscond from the doorstep of the most hallowed record in American sports, to being out of the game he loves and defending his actions over the past five years in a courthouse.

If the evidence against him comes to culmination, and I think it will, Bonds is through with baseball. Period. The legal ramifications will bury him and his career will be a side note in the record books, forget the asterisks.

The Barry Bonds era may be over, but his troubles are just beginning.