When I was a child, above all dreams, I fantasized about being a dump truck. Unaware of the impossibility of this aspiration, I would wait eagerly, day after day, until the great truck would grace my driveway, promising a grand future.While it only took a few years before I realized my error in judgment, similar irrationality still lingers: What would it be like to fly like a bird? Who would I be if I were a movie star? If a whole baseball team were to play a particular position, what position would it play?
The Expos and Royals, for instance, would most definitely ride the pine, deadweight good for pinch-hitting now and then. The Dodgers might be the team’s overpaid, overweight reliever with an ERA high enough that after a while you wonder why the manager still sends him out there. The A’s could be a second baseman, solid defensively, always helping the team to win, but never dominating the headlines.
But who would lead?
The Cubs might make a lovable power hitter who can’t hit in the clutch. The Cardinals (if only by Ozzie Smith association) could fill the shortstop hole.
But in baseball, success and failure hinge on one thing, pitching, and there are only two teams in the game that could lead this team to greatness.
For a catcher, I must turn to the Johnny Bench of franchises, the Yankees. Consistent, dominant and willing to lead, the Yankees would show the rest of the team how to win.
And at pitcher would come the Red Sox, always on the cusp of greatness, hungry and never resolved.
As painful as it is to just imagine the two in a symbiotic relationship, it is their rivalry that drives Major League Baseball and as a result, it will be their relationship that will have to guide my team.
Baseball has had its share of inspiring stories throughout the past few years, whether it’s the Twins and A’s, establishing themselves as perennial playoff contenders, or the Florida Marlins coming out of nowhere to win the World Series. But as the A-Rod soap opera proved, the Yankees and Red Sox are the axis upon which the baseball world revolves.
They are often vilified for causing baseball’s inequities, but they are victims of a flawed system. The Yankees may spend more money than anyone else, but what other option do they have? Should Steinbrenner sit on his money, forget about improving his team, while another team follows the lead of the Texas Rangers and mortgages its entire future on one player?
The Yankees and Red Sox are like Charles Barkley, not always a good role model, but unavoidably entertaining. They reflect what is right and what’s wrong with baseball, from the game’s unpredictability to overinflated salaries.
However, most important, they are consistent. Baseball is a game built around history. Whether it’s an obsession with records and milestones or constant Hall of Fame debates, the game remains relevant because of the way it ties together generations.
The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry sculpts baseball history one Bucky Dent or Aaron Boone home run at a time. If one of America’s most indelible clichés is a father tossing a ball with his son, then the Yankees and Red Sox are the ball’s stitches.
As I’ve resigned myself to never being a dump truck or a big rig or even a limo, baseball fans should accept the Yankees and Red Sox and live with the fact that without them, Babe Ruth would just be a drunken slob and the 1986 Mets would just be a bunch of cokeheads.