Beers resemble puppet state in 12-4 loss to Unified Germany

By RJ Warner, Section Journals
Posted on Sun May 13 2007 at 12:46 PM EST
More on: Hockey, alcohol, World War II, sexism, religion (all tags)

If only the Beers put up the same resistance that the French  put up to the Germans in 1940, the score might have been closer.

The weather was a beautiful 65 degrees at the drop of the puck, but the floods arrived shortly after the opening faceoff.

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My hockey team

By RJ Warner, Section Journals
Posted on Sun May 13 2007 at 12:36 PM EST
More on: hockey, alcohol (all tags)

Is called the Bad News Beers. I will use my journal space to keep you updated on the Beers in their inagural season of the adult D north league. We lost our first game 5-0 but we only had 6 dudes and we were throwing-up tired by the middle of the first period.  

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Have a Neat Summer!

By RJ Warner, Section Other Sports
Posted on Fri Jun 30 2006 at 1:38 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

Remember your high school yearbook? Me neither, but I do remember signing them for friends (stay cool, dude!), non-friends (trying to cleverly mix the word "fart" in there somewhere) and wish-they-were-girlfriends (my phone number) like I was some sought-after athlete whose scrawl would be cherished for generations, if not days. Mine of course, would get the standard: Have a Neat Summer! (or was that Kevin Arnold?)

So, living in this fantasy land I call life (or maybe it's the other way around), I got to dreaming what it would be like if today's greatest athletes stopped me in some heaven-like high school hallway and asked me to sign their yearbook/media guide.

Here's what I think I might write:

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Worst...referee...ever

By RJ Warner, Section Journals
Posted on Sat Jun 17 2006 at 8:36 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

The final is in from Kaiserslauten, Germany:

Italy 1
U.S.A 1
Referee: A complete zero

Referee Jorge Larrionda of Uruguay was handing out more cards than a black jack dealer during the match, which finished with ten Italians and nine Americans on the pitch instead of 11 on 11.

Brian Mcbride (AP)

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The clueless soccer fan's guide to watching the World Cup

By RJ Warner, Section Other Sports
Posted on Thu Jun 08 2006 at 12:07 AM EST
More on: (all tags)

Remember comedian Jay Mohr's talk show on ESPN back in 2002? Of course you don't. It lasted only 16 seconds, but that was long enough for him to get in the one line that pretty much captured how the good ol' U.S of A. has felt about the rest of the world's favorite quadrennial sporting event:

"So, I hear the World Cup started this week. In a related story, my stones itch."

It's not enough that we simply ignore the beautiful game, we go out of our way to abhor it, to knock it, to dis it every chance we get. Not only do we dislike the sport, but we're pretty damn proud of it.

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Reasons number 1,864, 398, 112 to hate ESPN...

By RJ Warner, Section Journals
Posted on Tue May 30 2006 at 7:26 AM EST
More on: (all tags)

With Memorial day being one of the most American days of the year, I expected an American tradition of Memorial Day TV watching: Baseball, baseball and baseball followed by the traditional late afternoon conference final basketball game. I literally had hot dogs and apple pie ready to go when I turned on the tube.

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We Wuz Robbed: The top 10 most bogus, exasperating, hair pulling calls of all time

By RJ Warner, Section Site related
Posted on Sat May 27 2006 at 6:05 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

Having once umpired little league baseball, I can understand what game officials go through, albeit on a much smaller scale. No matter what call you make, it's going to upset half the people involved. Some calls, however, are so obviously and excruciatingly horrible and controversial that it still sends the jilted players, coaches and fans to the brink of insanity years later at their mere mention.

Below is a list of some of the most egregious offenses committed by umpires, referees and officials in the history of sports. Not all are mentioned here, and every fan may have a different perspective on where these rank (or not at all) depending on regional and team allegiances.

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This day in baseball history

By RJ Warner, Section Journals
Posted on Thu May 25 2006 at 8:15 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

On this day in 1935, Babe Ruth, playing for the Boston Braves, hit the final three home runs of his legendary career against the Pittsburgh Pirates inside Pittsburgh's Forbes Field.

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My own attempt at a book review...

By RJ Warner, Section Journals
Posted on Wed May 24 2006 at 8:53 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

I know FHenkel likes to do these, but I'll steal his idea and take a shot at my own book review here. I just finished Shanks For Nothing by Rick Reilly, the Sports Illustrated columnist who makes like a gazillion dollars a year.

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Amateur loses race after failing to get off block

By RJ Warner, Section Site related
Posted on Wed May 17 2006 at 9:51 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

Writer's block. It comes to anyone and everyone who puts pen to paper, ink to printer or tap to key. I'm sure Rick Reilly gets it. Shakespeare had it (Oh, ideas, wherefore the frick art thou?). I can picture a caveman sitting on the wheel he just invented (still wasn't sure what exactly it was for), staring blankly at the wall, chisel in hand, wondering what the hell kind of shapes to scratch into the rock for his weekly "Ugh's Take" feature. He wishes he had just stuck to the weather reports.

Even our esteemed Featured Writers get infected with a case now and then, as Trevor Freeman admitted in his recent column. All he was able to do was get one lead out per subject and wala...his notes column. Well, to me, Trevor's paragraphs look like Tolstoy because I can't even get a decent subject out of my burnt out, going-bald-from-scratching head.

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