Category: San Francisco Giants

Barry Bonds’ baseball career could be over, but his career as a defendant might just be getting started

If baseball is the national pastime, despising Barry Bonds is a close second. He is to colossal jerk what Jessica Simpson is to dumb blond: indistinguishable. It’s his persona. It is who he is. And until yesterday, Barry Bonds didn’t care about his persona. He didn’t care what you, I, or anyone else thought about him. He has been defiant towards the media his entire career. But that all changed at an impromptu press conference in the Arizona desert.

Brian Sabean is a busy man these days.  This week alone, he’s managed to add All-Star Moises Alou to the San Francisco outfield, and is on the verge of signing a deal with the Rolling Stones that would allow the Giants to coordinate their road trips with the Stones’ U.S. summer tour.  Rumors are swirling that the Giants are also prepared to offer a bullpen spot to Pat Summerall, but neither side has confirmed the talks.  The San Francisco Giants have been an old team for years and continue to get older, made to look downright geriatric when compared to the daycare center now being housed in the Oakland Coliseum.  But the Giants also represent the Bay Area’s best hope for a playoff team in 2005, in any sport.  This is crucial for me, because I’m running out of creative ways to say that my teams suck (there’s a limit to the number of times you can write things like, “for the 11th consecutive year, the Western Conference playoffs will narrowly elude the grasp of the Golden State Warriors”).

Barry went bonkers when asked about sprinter Tim Montgomery’s alleged testimony that the person who supplied Montgomery with performance enhancing drugs also supplied Bonds with similar drugs. According to the AP, Bonds unleashed a “flurry of expletives” against Tim Montgomery.  Remember when Turk Wendell basically said, “look at him! he’s obviously on steroids!” and Bonds went nuts? At that time, the Associated Press said that Bonds “chastised” Turk.  I saw that clip folks and chastised isn’t quite the word I’d use. Bonds called him a little bitch and said he was chickenshit.  If that’s chastising, I wonder what “flurry of expletives” means.

There’s an episode of Family Guy where the first leaf turns color and the residents of Quahog start scrambling to prepare for the ambush of New York “Leafers”.  It was just like this in San Francisco over the weekend except the Red Sox were in town and the “massholes” were doing the ambushing.  Just like in Family Guy, SF residents were happy as hell when they finally left.