NFL General

Making “stimulus package” sound less dirty

With the nation’s economy having shifted from “suck” to “blow”, many people have found themselves out of work, demoralized, and down on their luck. But don’t worry, citizens of the Bay Area. If you’re looking for a new career path, there are several prominent positions available with the local sports franchises. The following jobs are currently available and waiting for the right candidates:

Golden State Warriors

Welcome Back Old Friend

By Trevor Freeman

In the words and voice of Eric Cartman, I have but one thing to say……”How would you like to suck my balls….Mr. Barkley?” Hahahaha. Great call “Sir Charles”. Oh and by the way, having somebody from Alabama tell you that Sausalito/Marin County sucks is the exact equivalent of Cash Warren hearing that Jessica Alba is an ugly tramp from one of the Greek guys dating Paris Hilton. Not since the “Run TMC” era has there been a better time to be a Golden State Warriors fan. I just spent $40 on eBay for a “We Believe” T-Shirt that may or may not have beer stains on it. To be quite honest, I’m hoping for beer stains. I want to be a part of what went down in Games 3 and 4 in the Oracle..cough..Oakland Arena.

Random Thoughts

A Sports Medley…..

by Trevor Freeman

Ever since March Madness ended, we as a sports nation have been in a funk. It was a long couple of weeks, but we are snapping out of it in a big way with the NFL Draft on the horizon and the NBA playoffs heating up. Baseball is in full swing. I know I am pretty pumped that my Athletics have gotten out of the gate at 10-9 (generally my A’s like to start 2-17 and 11 games out of first). With all this going on, I sat down and tried to compose an article on a number of topics. However, I once again ran into a brick wall at every turn. Yes, writer’s block was affecting me and there was only one way to snap out of. Without further ado, here is our fourth “Sports Medley”.