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"NBA Salary Report or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and accept the Bombs"

By MJOneill, Section NBA
Posted on Sat Dec 16 2006 at 4:52 PM EST
More on: (all tags)

The NBA salary report for the 2006-2007 season was announced recently. If viewed beyond the sports realm, it can be seen as depressing social depth chart, which leaves me practially unrankable, in the moderately to below moderately compensated writer's assistant category. At least I got a bonus this year. Last year I was Christmas downsized.

"Oh, no. Sorry man, wish I could. I actually don't carry cash. I've got all my cash tied up in low interest rate mutual funds." - C-Webb.

The most glaring numbers here belong to the New York Knicks. Let's just leave them be, it's like picking on a fat kid - they get it, they know. More like a divorced fat kid who's still paying alimony to Allan Houston.

Let's move onto the fact that Steve Nash, two time NBA MVP is ranked 44th with $10,500,000 for the 2006-2007 season. Ten million bucks, nothing to sneeze at. In fact, if I had ten million bucks this year I'd probably blow my nose with a couple hundred, easy. Therefore, one must think about sports, the even playing field, the scoreboard as the clean cut, black and white, purveyor of all truth, that this list, like some cosmic depth chart of omnipotence, must ultimately rank the worthy order fairly, accurately, your Chris Webber's aside. Ehh. Ahead of Steve Nash, lie the likes of: Raef LaFrentz, Theo Ratliff, Steve Francis, Eddie Jones (Is Eddie Jones still alive?), Michael Finley, and Jalen Rose - guess what, the Knicks are still paying him too. I'm pretty sure if these five guys suited up, with Stevie Franchise cheering from the stands, nursing some random ailment, Steve Nash could probably pick up a couple of scrubs walking off the train and still win. I'm envisioning that scene in White Men Can't Jump, and Wesley Snipes picks up Woody Harrelson to take on Dwayne from "A Different World" and Marques Johnson.

I'm sorry. That's like picking on the Knicks. I would gladly take gobs of money to ride the bench. In fact, I would be more than willing to take NBA role player pay. How about the lowest paid player on the NBA's worst team? Sure. That's right, your favorite and mine, Uros...Slokar, Toronto Raptors, $412,718. And that's still practically doctor money, at least a podiatrist.

P.S. Is that a typo or is Kevin Pittsnogle actually making $50,000? He could have made more than that working at the campus bookstore in West Virginia.

Does anyone say they play for the love of the game anymore? Maybe that's just in movies.