Lessons from First Weekend of Tourney

There is no better (extended) weekend in sports than the opening two rounds of the NCAA Mens hoops tourney. Hell, there probably isn’t a better day in all of sports than the first Thursday of March Madness. If I were President, I’d declare those first two days as national holidays. And I’d make gambling on the tournament legal in every state. Could I run on that platform? Considering that about $2.5 Billion is wagered across America, I think I’d have a decent shot. Somehow, family values as it relates to March Madness wagering goes out the door. I know I’d at least have Rick Neuheisel’s vote.I don’t have much of a purpose for this column other than to list a bunch of random thoughts. But I didn’t want to do a running diary like The Sports Guy. Is it me or is his schtick getting really tired?

Things I learned

· CBS will stoop to any level to get the 18-35 demographic. Spring Break Shark Attack might be the worst excuse ever for putting together a bunch of girls on a beach in bikinis. Well, I guess there is no bad reason for putting hot chicks in bikinis. I’m surprised that they didn’t try to have some gratuitous lesbian kissing like the O.C.

· Rock, Choke, Jayhawk is alive and well. If Syracuse losing to UVM registered a 7.0 on the jaw dropper scale, Kansas losing was barely a blip. Different year, same result. The only thing we didn’t get was Roy Williams crying at the post game. But there’s always hope that he brought the same choking to UNC.

· Cornrows don’t look good on light skinned black guys. They almost look like women. Or maybe that’s just Josh Boone. (Not that I routinely judge how guys look or anything.)

· Can they please stop showing wives of coaches? Unless they’re really hot and doing a pole dance, no one cares. I think my tournament enjoyment might be ok without seeing Tubby Smith’s wife 28 times.

· Doesn’t having Coach K as your pitchman fall under the category of negative branding? Everyone in the country outside of Durham hates him and Duke so why would we want to buy a GM car or get an American Express card? Is it because he’s a leader of men that just happens to be a basketball coach?

· I love when you look at experts picks and they say things like “I love Syracuse. They have tons of experience” and pick them for National Champs. Oops. Look, my bracket has gone to hell too but I’m not a Sportsline senior writer either. That’s gotta hurt. Remember, when filling out your bracket next year, don’t bother reading the experts. Nobody knows anything about how the tourney will come out. Along that note, I remember people were complaining that Louisville was only a 4 seed and the tournament selection chairman remarking, well, who would you remove from the 3rd seed. Turns out it could be Kansas, Oklahoma, or Gonzaga.

· Billy Packer is still a jackass that loves the ACC and all the power conferences. You’d think as a Wake Forest graduate, he’d have a strong anti-Duke bias but he actually goes out of his way to fellate them. Watching the Duke - Miss State game reinforced that for me. I couldn’t believe how biased his announcing was. If it were up to Billy, they’d just do away with the whole tournament altogether and let Duke, UNC, Wake and maybe one more team from the Big East or SEC battle it out for the national championship. Remember, this is the retard who last year said St Joes didn’t belong as a top seed and then watched the Hawks dispatch his alma mater to get to the Elite Eight.

Ok, that’s all I got for now. Perhaps this whole column was just a reason to show this great photo: