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Thoughts of a Anxious Teenager

By Ben Cohen, Section Other Sports
Posted on Wed Sep 29 2004 at 10:24 AM EST
More on: (all tags)

The Ramblings, Sports Guy style.

Statboy used to be terrible as host of Around the Horn. I mean, he was A-Rod-with-bases-loaded-bad. And now I'll admit it: I like him better than Kellerman.

I should be able to bet on things like "Bubba Crosby will be packaged with Javier Vasquez and the Yankees' top pitching prospect on a trade deadline-beating deal for a thirty-eight year old pitcher."

Does anybody care that the NHL season was cancelled? And will anyone notice if the NHL goes away...forever?

How did Bobby Valentine end up in Japan, while Art Howe is in New York and John Kruk is in Bristol?

I can't believe that I didn't see Steve Smith's season-ending injury coming. Here was a guy with one half of a good NFL season, and I drafted him in the fourth round of one of my fantasy drafts. Yikes.

Possibly the most entertaining moment of the summer was Escalade of the AND1 tour comparing The Professor to Jackie Robinson.

Since when are Domanick Davis and Kevin Barlow late first round draft picks in fantasy drafts?

If I had to assemble a golf foursome to play in, I would include Padraig Harrington (Paddy!), Phil Ivey ($50,000 a hole!), and Matt Millen (to see him pull out the 5-wood on a Par 3).

Burning Questions: Why isn't Trick Shot Magic on ESPN anymore?...Has Antonio McDyess ever played an NBA game? And why is every team in the league anxious to get him?...Does Bill Belichick ever leave the house?...And why was Bradford fired on The Apprentice? Can someone please explain this to me?

When I see replays of The Flip...well let's just say that I flip to watch poker to feel like a manly man again.

I feel bad for the guy, but there's no reason that Jason Giambi should be playing baseball this year. Kevin Brown has more broken limbs than Giambi has hits this year.

I'd just like to mention that two of my favorite annual ESPN events of the year are the Frozen Four and College World Series.

Whatever happened to...Ken Griffey, Jr; Mark McGwire; Kerri Strug; Keanu Reeves; Jimmy Key?

I'm waiting for the moment Dan Patrick interviews Stephen A. Smith and Patrick tells him to stop screaming. This will happen, right? Right?!

If Johan Santana was in New York, he'd be the best lefty since Sandy Koufax.

If I didn't know better, I would say John Kerry is from Massachusetts the way he is choking during this election...Wait, he actually is!? And there hasn't been an Outside the Lines about this yet? What's Bob Ley waiting for?

For those of you who don't know who Shyne is...well, you're missing out.

Mark it down now. Tennessee will win a National Championship within the next three years, if Vick Jr. stays.

It's a little late, I know...but why are spring training highlights always from that terrible angle?

ESPN really should broadcast more ping pong. And foozball. Oh, what the hell, and mini golf, too!

It's scary that we could have had a National Championship between two highly touted college juniors this year...LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony.

I'd love to see Ashton Kutcher umpire a baseball game, just to see him punch out Barry Bonds on a called third strike, and as Bonds is walking back to the dugout, Kutcher yells, "You're getting Punk'd!", and then Bonds walks back and starts throwing haymakers. No? Not a good idea? Okay.

And finally, I, for one, am looking forward to Championship Series involving the Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals, and Cubs. Read that last sentence again. That's as close to baseball beauty as man will ever come.

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Thoughts of a Anxious Teenager | 11 comments (10 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)

When will Americans realize... (#1)
by puckerings on Mon Sep 20 2004 at 11:03 AM EST

That just because your country doesn't care too much for a sport, doesn't mean it's not wildly popular elsewhere. Who will miss the NHL? Approximately 30,000,000 Canadians, to begin with.

Also, there's a lot of fluff in this article, but no substance.

he did say it was just rambling (#2)
by Vin on Mon Sep 20 2004 at 1:23 PM EST

so i'd cut him slack on the lots of opinions thing.

as for the NHL, I'm a fairly big hockey fan and I still feel like I won't miss it very much if the season doesn't happen. The NHL has become unwatchable to me except for the playoffs and even then I feel like the great games are no longer there. The expansion has ruined the game.

[ Parent ]

: Expansion is a scapegoat (#3)
by puckerings on Tue Sep 21 2004 at 7:43 AM EST

As I posted in response to another article bemoaning the number of teams in the NHL, expansion cannot be said to have caused the reduced scoring in the NHL. There is no correlation between the added teams and reduced scoring. The reason scoring is so low (and the games relatively boring) is that referees allow the clutching and grabbing to go on, without calling penalties. The reasons for this are complex. Suffice it so say, to "fix" the NHL, they do not need new rules, or fewer teams. They simply need the referees to call the rules according to the rulebook. If they did that, scoring would jump significantly. In no other sport is there as great a disparity between the rulebook and the play.

[ Parent ]

NHL (#5)
by the A man88 on Tue Sep 28 2004 at 3:35 PM EST

Does anybody care that the NHL season was cancelled? And will anyone notice if the NHL goes away...forever?

This is exactly what ive been writing all along. Nobody cares about the NHL, those Canadians would probably rather watch the World Cup of Hockey anyway.

[ Parent ]

I *am* a Canadian (#6)
by puckerings on Fri Oct 01 2004 at 5:16 AM EST

Yes, I would rather watch the World Cup; the quality of hockey is much better. But the World Cup is only a short tournament, and it's over now.

To suggest that Canadians do not care if the NHL "goes away" is simply ignorant. Your persistent claims that nobody cares about the NHL, still unqualified even to restrict the comments to your own country, are plainly wrong.

Tell me, if nobody cares about the NHL, where does the $2 billion in annual revenue come from? Out of thin air? The NHL has been around for nearly 90 years (more like 95 if you count the NHA, which you should). To suggest that "nobody" cares about an institution with such a history is silly. How has it lasted this long if nobody cares?

[ Parent ]

Must i be literal... (#7)
by the A man88 on Sat Oct 02 2004 at 4:48 PM EST

...ok, some rewording in my comment. Nobody cares about the NHL...anymore. How else do u explain the demise of the league.

[ Parent ]

Boy howdy, time to pay attention (#8)
by puckerings on Sat Oct 02 2004 at 10:56 PM EST

The reason for the "demise" of the league (something which has not yet happened) would be the stupidity of certain owners, and the stubborness of the players' union.

It has nothing to do with the fans. If it were up to the fans, the league would be opening its schedule on time.

After the last lockout about a decade ago, the fans came back. No drop in attendance was suffered by the league. NHL fans are NHL fans, and while the griping of the billionaires and the mmillionaires is off-putting to some, to say (once again) that "nobody cares about the NHL" is, once again, ignorant. Please stop saying it; it is plainly untrue.

[ Parent ]

: Players and owners (#9)
by the A man88 on Mon Oct 04 2004 at 7:54 PM EST

do u think that if the league had enough money to make both side happy, we would even be having this conversation? No, we wouldnt. And how does the money generate, the fans. its all a revolving circle. Though not a direct affect, the fans still impacted the downfall of the NHl a lot.

[ Parent ]

Why do we need to put a subject? Anyways... (#10)
by bsd987 on Mon Oct 11 2004 at 10:38 AM EST

How did this get passed when the title is incorrect?

"Thoughts of a Anxious Teenager"

an anxious.

Honestly, just an article about thoughts. Overused idea. Plus, there is no flow and there is no break to show subject change. Hard to read.
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: Coming out firing... (#11)
by the A man88 on Mon Oct 11 2004 at 1:21 PM EST

...you seem to want to make a name for yourself rather fast bsd987, and i like it. I dont think its as much the idea of writing about thoughts, that seems ok, the flow and break i can somewhat understand.
The article was pretty good but not great.
And i think ur the first person to nitice the title was wrong. good observation.

[ Parent ]

Thoughts of a Anxious Teenager | 11 comments (10 topical, 1 editorial, 0 hidden)

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