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New York Giants

Quest for Greatness: A Punter’s Tale

A little trivia question: Who holds the NFL record for most consecutive games played?  Brett Favre, of course… right?  Nope.  Incorrect.  Negatory.  Wrongo.  The correct answer is Jeff Feagles.  No, not the crazy kicker from Ace Ventura.  That was Ray Finkle.  “If he had held the ball laces out like he’s supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick… Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell!”  Jeff Feagles is in fact a punter, currently booting the ball down field after frequent Eli Manning third-and-outs with the Giants.

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NFL General

A Real Life Fantasy

Does your football team suck?  I’m a Patriots fan, so my team doesn’t, but don’t worry, I’ve been in your shoes before.  Remember, in the 90’s Boston fans were just a bunch of miserable losers.  You hang on to hope until you hear that tragic death sentence: “mathematically eliminated.”  You love the draft because your team finally gets to be number 1.  You go to church and pray for the starting QB to get hurt, because it can’t get any worse.  They’re down 21-0 at halftime and you start rooting for the other team.  You buy a Drew Bledsoe voodoo doll, and curse his name every chance you get.  Your head coach refers to your top wide receiver as “she”.  You say, “I swear on everything holy, if he says Ben “Winter” Coates one more time, I’m going to go down to Bristol and strangle him with my bare hands!”  They let Curtis Martin go to the Jets?!?!?  Yes, I have felt your pain.

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MLB General

Matt Williams and Dante Bichette would be proud

It’s Royce Clayton’s worst nightmare… who does he root for?  With the NLCS looming, it’s important to understand that what we have here are two teams with long, rich histories in the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Colorado Rockies.  Histories of all-stars, playoff appearances, humidor scandals, desert heat, Rocky Mountain thin air, and even a World Series championship.  Combined, the two teams are almost as old as my sister at the ripe old age of 25.  Put away your calculators, because I already figured it out for you; that’s 175-years-old in dog years!

Categories
St. Louis Cardinals

Life Worth Living

By Rob LaBrie

“Man I ain’t changed, but I know I ain’t the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin’ dreams
I think his death it must be killin’ me”
– Jakob Dylan (The Wallflowers)

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Slugger? Yes. Attention Seeker? Probably Not.

By Rob LaBrie

As if Manny Ramirez wasn’t unpredictable enough, now he’s so unpredictable, we can’t even predict his unpredictability.  What?

Categories
Green Bay Packers

The Propaganda Files: Stavring for Another Season?

By Rob LaBrie

A flash comes across the screen, “Breaking News!” it reads in immortal ESPN text.  It’s midnight and you just realize you’ve been dozing off on the couch.  You see the screen and you decide it’s worth wiping the drool off the side of your face and sitting up to see what the news is before hitting the sack.  Naturally, John Clayton pops up on the screen.  “I’ve just received big news out of Green Bay.  It seems Brett Favre may have played his last game in the NFL.  Sources close to Favre say the legendary quarterback is leaning toward retirement.  Of course, this is not set in stone, but we are one step closer to seeing Favre hang it up [pushes glasses up higher on his nose and sniffles].”  You put your pants back on to hear this?  Well, at least it must mean pitchers and catchers will be reporting pretty soon…

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Boston Celtics

Good to be Green… for now

By Rob LaBrie

Five games ago, they were the worst team in the worst division in sports, a broken franchise with no hope of being fixed.  Their young players were absolutely terrible, their coach had absolutely no idea, their GM was an absolute failure, and their only star was playing with absolutely no help.

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General Sports

The Smorgasbord

By Rob LaBrie

For the past month or so, I’ve been a little busy trying to elude Stephen Jackson and his posse.  Ever since I threw that beer on one of them in the Bada-Bing strip club, they’ve been tryin’ to bust a cap in my (butt) and chasin’ me with Cadillac Escalades.  So, needless to say, I’ve been a little too busy to write about sports.

What better way to get back in the saddle than with a nice little smorgasbord (yeah, that’s how you spell it) of sport?  A good smorgasbord covers all the bases.  That means we’re going to need a little of everything, from the basics (“the player” and Blue Lips) to a first in the history of mankind; a sponsor for time.

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NFL General

NFC North Breakdown

Ah, the NFC Norris division.  Often made fun of last year because of their lack of any skill, this is a division that could be on the upswing.  The Bears have the best defense in football and could even make a playoff push, while the Vikings and Lions could be simply a year or two away from the playoffs.  Learn a little more about the teams in our sixth divisional preview…

Categories
NFL General

NFC East Breakdown

After a two-week hiatus, we’re back to bring you the best football knowledge money can buy.  What better way to get you back into the swing of things than with the best division in football, the NFC East?  Some guys have come (Vanderjagt, Randle El, Archuleta), some guys have gone (La’Roi Glover, Keyshawn, Ramsey) and some guys just can’t get enough of the East (T.O., LaVar Arrington).  While we aren’t sure how these changes will pan out in the long run, we do know one thing: it’s gonna be fun to watch.