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Satire

2007 Sports Predictions

At this time each year, it’s only natural for sports fans to look back at the year that was — and make their guesses about the upcoming year. Who will win the big game, melt down on the sideline and hook up with Courtney Love in a men’s room stall? While waiting 12 months is the surest way to answer these questions, what fun is that? Without further ado, here are my predictions for the 2007 sports year.

Categories
Boxing

Say it ain’t so- Jerry

It’s Sunday night and I’m flipping through the channels when I stumble across the show I’ve been trying to pretend doesn’t exist– “Dancing with the Stars.” For those of you who haven’t seen this trainwreck, here’s how it goes. You take 10 Y-list celebrities, force them to do complicated dances that they only have time to half-learn, then the audience laughs at them and votes one off the island. It’s good, wholesome entertainment at the expense of wannabe or used-to-be celebrities whose 15 minutes of fame are long gone.

But here’s the thing. This season, one of the contestants was Jerry Rice, the greatest wide receiver in the history of football. Any other position in football, you’ll get an argument about who is the best who ever played. But the debate is moot at wideout. Rice is the man. He holds every meaningful NFL record for his position. You can measure his yards gained in miles (a little over 13). He is unquestionably the best wide receiver to have ever played the game.

Categories
High School Sports

Surprise!

Boxer Phil Chason got a shock at the start of his Northeast Regional Championship bout
By Shawn French (Windham Independent, Nov. 10, 2004)

Following his appearance in the Golden Gloves national tournament in Kansas City, Mo., Windham’s Phil Chason took four months away from the ring. He returned on Oct. 30 in a four-round brawl against Alex Ayala in the Northeast Regional Championship semifinals.

Categories
High School Sports

A league of their own

The Windham Wiffle®-ball League is up and running
By Shawn French (Windham Independent, Nov. 10, 2004)

With football season over and several cold months before baseball starts up, Andrew Shute and company put together a new sports league. The Windham Wiffle®-Ball League is several games into its season and already the competition for the title is heating up.

Categories
High School Sports

Movin’ on up

After jumping from 141 to 152 pounds, Windham’s Phil Chason went to war at the Portland Boxing Club
By Shawn French (Windham Independent 11/3/04)

New England Golden Gloves champion and Windham resident Phil Chason’s trip to Kansas City, Mo., for the Golden Glove nationals was a crushing disappointment for the 19-year-old. Chason lost a split decision in his first bout, largely due to the Golden Gloves being a year too slow in adapting the Punchstat-style scoring system that favors combination punchers like Chason.

Frustration over the loss and his constant struggle to make weight were key factors in his four months away from the fight game. Chason’s street weight is in the mid 150s, but he fought at 141, which often led to drastic weight-loss techniques in the days leading up to a bout. “I had to sweat off four pounds the night before the (Golden Gloves) and that killed me,” he said.

Chason got a job working in a warehouse, hauling 85-pound pallets all day, keeping his mind off the loss and building muscle. In mid September, the call of the ring was too loud to ignore and he returned to the gym to train for the Northeast Regional Championships — a tournament he had won the previous three years.