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pittsburghpiratesparrotmascot
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Pittsburgh Pirates

A funny thing happened on the way to another losing season…

Posted July 18, 2011 by RJ Warner

Hold on, let me check my watch. And by watch I mean the home screen on my phone because who wears a watch anymore? As of 10:43 PM ET on July 15, Year of Our Lord or Roberto Clemente 2011, the Pittsburgh Pirates are sitting alone in first place. Wait, let me put that on [...]

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Have a Neat Summer!
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Satire

Have a Neat Summer!

Posted June 30, 2006 by RJ Warner

Remember your high school yearbook? Me neither, but I do remember signing them for friends (stay cool, dude!), non-friends (trying to cleverly mix the word “fart” in there somewhere) and wish-they-were-girlfriends (my phone number) like I was some sought-after athlete whose scrawl would be cherished for generations, if not days. Mine of course, would get [...]

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I Must Break You
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General Sports

I Must Break You

Posted February 20, 2006 by RJ Warner

Everyone loves to say that records are made to be broken. So when someone like Cal Ripken comes along and breaks what is believed to be an absolutley, positively, your-so-dumb-if-you-think-anyone-will-ever-touch-it unbreakable record, it should be celebrated and appreciated forever. Or at least until someone breaks that record. So, without sounding like a broken one, let’s [...]

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Pardon My Short Attention Span
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Random Thoughts

Pardon My Short Attention Span

Posted February 17, 2006 by RJ Warner

What do sports writers and lazy journalism majors do when they have a deadline and no real story to turn in? Well, first they go to the bar. Then they fall back on the old standby: The “notes” column, or as some of our more clever ilk might call it, “Random Thoughts From a Random [...]

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NHL Olympic Break Report
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NHL General

NHL Olympic Break Report

Posted February 14, 2006 by RJ Warner

The New NHL: in like a lion (shootouts, more scoring), out like a whimpering, kicked little puppy dog (the ready-to-explode gambling scandal). While Wayne Gretzky is busy wiping the sweat from his brow, let’s review the “first half” of the NHL season up to the Olympic break. First, the Eastern Conference (hey, we got a [...]

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RJ’s Junk Drawer
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Random Thoughts

RJ’s Junk Drawer

Posted March 6, 2006 by RJ Warner

Thank God it’s Monday, huh? Another week has passed in this never-ending sports merry-go-round. Who wants to get off now? Maybe Gene Upshaw. Not me, though. Not with all the fun stuff coming up. Baseball is about to dive head first into real international competition on this side of the globe after dipping it’s toe [...]

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RJ’s Junk Drawer
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Random Thoughts

RJ’s Junk Drawer

Posted February 28, 2006 by RJ Warner

With the sporting world in a virtual holding pattern over the next few weeks while we wait for March Madness and the baseball season (i dunno – April Ardor?) to give us some real sports stuff to talk about (what’s this O-limp-ix thing they’ve been yapping about these past two weeks anyway?) here’s a fresh [...]

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Confessions of an Atlanta Braves hater
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Atlanta Braves

Confessions of an Atlanta Braves hater

Posted April 15, 2006 by RJ Warner

Who’s sick of the Atlanta Braves? If I asked ten people, I bet nine would raise their hands. I was always sick of them. More than any Mets fan, Phillies fan or any NL East wanna be du-jour. They have been clogging up baseball’s postseason since 1991, with only one championship to show for, in [...]

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