by Trevor Freeman
Jalapeno Poppers. Glass Slippers. Yuengling. Bryce Drew. Chili Cheese Nachos. Harold Arcenaux. Chicken Wings. Rumeal Robinson. Budweiser. Bill Raftery. Mozzarella Sticks. Bracket Busters. Tequila. Jeff Fryar. Are you filling out your bracket right now? Is today the most unproductive Monday you have had in weeks? Don’t be concerned. It is that way for everybody. It was an excruciating wait between now and the end of the Super Bowl, but it is finally here. Ladies and Gentleman……….the Madness has arrived.
With March Madness kicking off this Tuesday, we are all officially under the bracket gun. For all of those who have not watched more than ten minutes of college basketball this season, but want to fill out their bracket with confidence, I have taken the ball and run with it. Preview the Big Dance on a Sunday night I have. Instead of going with the standard “Best Player, Best Team, Sleeper” approach by region like every other newspaper/website does, we will once again take a more unique approach. Without further ado, let us begin our preview with………..
The Danny & The Miracles Award (annually given to the player most likely to put a team on his back and carry them through the tourney):
There is only one player we can give this to and it is not just because we are currently pressuring our beloved Sportscolumn editor Vin Diec into letting us nominate his mother as a Woman We Love. “Psycho T” has simply been the best player in college basketball this season and could easily carry North Carolina to a National Championship.
Here’s one thing I don’t get. Every mock draft site, I see has Tyler Hansbrough listed in the mid-20s if at all. Has everybody been sleeping on Carlos Boozer’s career? Does anybody not see what Al Horford is doing in Atlanta? There is no doubt in my mind that Hansbrough is going to have a career arc similar to those two.
The Eliot “I would prefer not to wear a condom when throwing down with a prostitute” Spitzer Award (new award which will be given to the team most likely to implode down the stretch):
Clemson’s piss poor foul shooting is going to rear its ugly head and it is going to happen early. I could easily see them being the fifth seed that goes down in the first round. Should they get by Villanova, I can’t see them and their horrendous foul shooting getting by a disciplined team like Vanderbilt.
The Ashley Dupre Award:
No award here. I just need to point out that a great anecdote just came out on this case and needs to be commented on.
Apparently Charlie Sheen used the services of Miss Dupre (see link at the end of the article). This may well go down as the greatest news tidbit in history. The question I ask…..if you are a prostitute and you haven’t slept with Charlie Sheen, should you be offended?
Oh and if you’re Eliot Spitzer you just slept with every woman Charlie Sheen slept with. You may want to mull that one over. I would also keep any newspapers discussing this out of the house for the next week or so. This may be what pushes the missus over the edge.
The First Round Matchup That Will Cause Me To Spend Thirty Minutes On The Sh*tter at Work Award:
The Gonzaga-Davidson matchup is absolutely terrifying. Gonzaga has been flying under the radar all season long but they have incredible offensive talent in Jeremy Pargo, Matt Bouldin and Austin Daye. On the flip side, Davidson played North Carolina, Duke and UCLA all close and have the nation’s premier marksman in Stephen Curry. This game will be going down to the wire.
The 1,000-Pound Gorilla:
UCLA is without a doubt the easiest/safest pick to win this tournament. The only team in their region that can beat them is Xavier. I see UCLA coasting through to the Final Four.
The “Slapped In The Face” Award:
The Bulldogs of Butler have to be ready to flip over tables after receiving a seven seed despite being ranked in the top fifteen all season long. Toss in that the Committee also forced them to play South Alabama in Birmingham and I think Butler is feeling slighted. This should serve as a motivating factor for a team that has five seniors making their last Dance including two studs in A.J. Graves and Mike Green. Not only do I think Butler will beat South Alabama but I could see them giving Tennessee problems in Round Two.
The Mouse McFadden Award (annually given to the small-school player most likely to go nuts on the big stage):
Stephen Curry of Davidson is without a doubt the best three-point shooter in this tournament. It is obvious to see that Curry spent a lot of time with his father Dell Curry learning how to get open off screens and how to quickly free himself for the triple. He is going to hang at least 30 on Gonzaga in the opening round and will give Georgetown fits in Round Two.
The “I Don’t Believe CBS Doesn’t Have Anything To Do With The Draw” Award:
There is nobody who can convince me that setting up a North Carolina-Indiana Round Two matchup wasn’t done purely to boost second round ratings. The Notre Dame-George Mason and USC-Kansas State both feel like first-round matchups that were made purely for the purposes of increasing ratings.
The UW-Milwaukee Award (annually given for most predictable upset call):
Temple over Michigan State is going to be the upset de jour call from just about everybody. The Owls are hot having won eight of their last nine games while Michigan State’s tournament history has been a little dicey (see a first round loss as a 6 seed to George Mason in 2006).
The “I Don’t Want To Encourage Gambling, but……..” Award:
Friday is providing an incredible two-team teaser right now. St. Mary’s is currently getting two against Miami and St. Joseph’s is getting 2 ½ right now against Oklahoma. Tease the Gaels and Hawks. I think both those teams are going to win outright. The points are just a bonus.
Rip Van Winkles (by region):
East: St. Joseph’s
Midwest: Davidson
South: St. Mary’s
East: San Diego
The Christina Ricci Award (annually given to the most overrated team):
Washington State is extremely shaky. Outside of Kyle Weaver they do not have a lot of athleticism. I wonder what will happen to the Cougars if they fall behind by 10-12 points and are forced to play faster. I do not like this team as I saw both games where they lost by double digits against Arizona. Washington State could easily lose to Winthrop in the first round and I do not see them getting by whoever wins the Notre Dame-George Mason tilt.
The Sarah Jessica Parker Award (annually given to the most overrated conference):
The SEC got six teams into the field and the only one I see getting out of the first weekend is Tennessee.
The Michael Myers Award (annually given to the scariest team):
Right now the team I would not want to play is Pittsburgh. They grinded out the Big East Tournament and look like they may do the same thing in this NCAA Tourney. If all the teams were dropped into a steel cage and had to fight their way out, I think Pittsburgh would emerge. The Panthers seem physically tougher than anybody else in this Dance.
The Hampton Award (annually given to the team most likely to pull a mind-blowing upset):
The San Diego Toreros are playing great basketball and may pull UConn’s pants down in the first round. Rob Jones is the best player you’ve never heard of and Billy Grier is doing an outstanding coaching job.
The Indiana “Don’t Forget The Name On The Front Of The Jersey” Award:
This goes to…..Indiana. Everybody is picking against the Hoosiers in Round One. Let’s not forget that Indiana should have the best two players on the floor in Eric Gordon and D.J. White and that Arkansas was 2-8 on the road this year. Not only do I think Indiana gets it together and beats Arkansas, but they will test North Carolina.
Trevor’s Elite Eight:
East: North Carolina versus Tennessee
Midwest: Kansas versus Georgetown
South: Memphis versus Texas
West: UCLA versus Xavier
Trevor’s Final Four:
East: North Carolina
Midwest: Georgetown
South: Texas
West: UCLA
Trevor’s Final Two:
North Carolina versus UCLA
Trevor’s Champ:
UCLA. The Bruins will be giving John Wooden another reason to smile as they will be celebrating a twelfth national title in Westwood.
Relevant Links:
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to e-mail me at [email protected].
15 replies on “The Madness Has Arrived”
its amazing how poorly free throws are gettin every year.. especially this year from everyone like you mentioned on clemson all the way to pitt. its like bunting in baseball.. the art of somethin important is not being taught correctly or being emphasized enough i guess?
one disagreement i have is temple over mich st.. i know the A-10 hs recked havoc all season long but i think St joes will be the team to do it in the tourney not temple. i only say that cause i feel like neitzel being a senior will get the job done.. at least for the first round.
agree with wash st being shaky. and the only problem i have with pitt is this.. and its happened before in the big east. i team gets hot, wins the championship after being shaky all season (granted they had injuries) and everyone jumps on their ship. i agree they are a tough team, i have them winning two i believe, but the atmosphere in which they were in over the weekend was very home friendly… now they that go away from home are they gonna be the same team? i guess we’ll find out.
i don’t like g’town at all in the final four if kansas doesnt make it.. i could see tha badgers beating g’town. but then again i have g’town losing to davidson in the 2nd round. just jinxed it prolly.
all in all, when it comes down to the end, we both agree on the national champion. final four in 06.. runner ups in 07.. national champs in 08 baby. UCLA! go bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuinsssss!
It is amazing There are a number of teams in this field that have free throw problems. Memphis is another one. I could see that biting them in the ass. Especially when they are playing Texas in the Regional Final in Houston, TX with about 20,000 Texas fans going nuts.
The thing about the Temple-Michigan State call is that everybody is basically calling it. Sometimes when that happens, it is better to go the other way.
you’re right i totally forgot about memphis they are real bad.
Just like the tourney itself I look forward to this article every year now (and laugh every time at the “shitter” pick).
I like Davidson a lot over Gonzaga. In fact, I see them possibly pulling what the Gonzaga’s of years past did. Curry gets any press that goes their way, but their point guard Jason Richardson is a fantastic floor general that runs that team the way Matt Santangelo did the Zags years ago. throw in that with an essential home game (they have a pretty big following now) in Raleigh and I think it’s an easy pick. And a G’Town team that looked awful against Pitt better watch it too.
Nrmally I would pan your Pitt pick cause they always let you down, but there’s something different with this team than in years past. It’s simply that they’re playing loose right now. And almost as important, Jamie Dixon is just letting them play and not over-coaching the shit out of them like he usually does. That might not sound like much, but the teams they had before were always the favorites and played tight and Dixon coached tight because of it.
Pittsburgh One of the biggest reasons why I am picking Texas in most of my brackets out of that region is because I think Memphis-Pitt is a real 50-50 matchup. Pitt really looked like a team to be reckoned with in the Big East tourney.
I really believe the Big East and Pac 10 were superior this year as conferences which is why I am leaning towards their teams in a lot of my brackets.
of course i’m biased… but I think that Indiana got slapped in the face big time. A 25-7 record and some how we manage an 8 seed. I’m sure they dropped a lot because of the poor play towards the end of the regular season and the early exit during the big 10 tourney (which is absolute bs since we lost on a last second prayer, it’s not like it was a blowout). But not only did they get an 8 seed, which is worse than last year when they had a 7 seed with 10 losses (I think it’s 10 but it might be 11), but they also have to play the number 1 overall seed in the tournement in the second round. Absolutely ridiculous.
I’m a little shocked at IU getting such a low seed, but can ANYONE splain how Xavier got such a high seed (3)? I know they were ranked pretty high all year, but so was IU and Xavier comes from a conference that provides about as much competition as Schlitz does to Budweiser. And they didn’t even win it. I might pick Georgia on a sheet or two.
Indiana I was real surprised by their seed. They either did it to be punitive or because CBS wanted to ensure a big-time primetime second round matchup.
If Sampson is still coach… I say they at least get a 4 seed. I just hope E.J. and D.J. carry them to the second round and go off on the heels. Maybe a little reminiscent of 2001 (5 seed IU def. 1 seed Duke in the sweet 16)
ehhh idk about georgia. some of the seedings do seem kind of odd this year. the ones you all mentioned previously already and then there’s another one: butler as a 7 seed i believe… and i’m pretty sure I heard they were in the top 15 all season long. so who really knows how those things work.
love this column I always forget about it until Trevor breaks it out every year.
i took nova as my 5-12 upset game too.. so i guess youre not the only one.
Thank you Villanova over Clemson is a great play. The only decision to make there is whether to take the points or make that a Money Line play.
I change my mind with the second round matchup against Siena, I’m taking Nova to get to the sweet sixteen. Can I get a redo on my bracket? That UCONN pick isn’t looking very good.
Madness I was so happy when Nova beat Clemson. It cancelled out everybody who wrote in Clemson. Same thing on the other side with San Diego playing Western Kentucky for a Sweet 16 berth. The upsets happened but they happened all in one area so it doesn’t completely kill your brackets.