Every mama would say "Knock You Out-" Mike Tyson

By Sean Quinn

Mike Tyson is a lucky man.  You may not think so right away, but think about it.  He’s lucky Memphis has bells.  He’s lucky he drew referee Eddie Cotton three years ago when Lennox Lewis persistently pummeled him to take the throne as Heavyweight Champion.  Mike Tyson is damn lucky.  Because if I had been refereeing that fight, Tyson would have been buried right then and there in that ring, joining his career that had already been six-feet under since 1990.

I believe in the mercy rule, but only in coach-pitch softball.  There shouldn’t be a mercy rule for Mike Tyson.  Not after his sad, sorry, pathetic waste of a life.  Lewis should have submerged Tyson into a place where all monsters eventually end up after their time on earth.
Yeah, I said it.

Truth be told, you probably agree with me. It is tasteless, but so is rape.  It is the only thing on God’s green earth that is more nightmarish and hellish than murder.  Tyson is a rapist, a hood, a criminal.  Don’t you dare feel sorry for him.

Sure, Tyson is good for some memorable quotes and entertainment, but that’s about it.  He’s not a boxer anymore.  He’s not a heavyweight champion anymore.  He is a monster, though.  And after quitting against journeyman Kevin McBride Saturday, Tyson is done.

He has been done, though, since Buster Douglas knocked him out 15 years ago.  Somehow everyone still wanted to see Iron Mike fight again and again.  People like entertainment, and Tyson, above all else, is an entertainer.  He is the most memorable, quotable athlete of the past 20 years.  We listen to him, the same way we listen to Jessica Simpson – we don’t know what ridiculous nonsense we are going to hear next.

You can’t blame his promoters for using him to make millions, he produces the cash and puts fannies in the seats.  He was the most brilliantly promoted fighter in history.  He appeared on everything from Nintendo games to People Magazine.  He even turned his face into his own personal Magna-Doodle.  No boxer, except for Muhammad Ali has garnered as much public attention as Tyson.  

That might be the only category, however, where Tyson appears in the company of Ali’s name.  The hardest hitting boxer of the past 20 years, was just that, a hard hitter, not the greatest – not even close.

The thug from Brooklyn was brought up and marketed as the greatest, there had been no fighter like him, blah, blah, blah.  Not since Ali did we see the intensity in the eyes and the fearlessness on the face.  We perhaps hadn’t seen a guy who had such powerful punches, leading to knockouts at record speeds.

It is easy to have such intimidation when facing second-tier journeymen and has-beens, like Tyson saw in his career.  Ali fought Frazier and Foreman.  Tyson’s toughest opponents during his prime were Michael Spinks and Larry Holmes.  Those names fall well short of the accolade of Frazier and Foreman, and fall even behind the likes of Ali’s other opponents like Jerry Quarry.

Mike Tyson, built up as the premier fighter, the greatest and so on, lost to James `Buster’ Douglas, a 42-1 underdog.  That was Tyson in his prime.  Douglas didn’t beat a first-tier fighter before or after defeating Tyson.

Iron Mike went 0-3 against the two most difficult opponents, Evander Holyfield and Lennox Lewis, winning just three of 24 rounds.  Holyfield knocked out Tyson in their first meeting in 1996.  Holyfield hadn’t knocked anyone out in more than five years prior to the fight.  In fact, Holyfield had to be medically cleared before the fight with Tyson because he had been so badly bruised in a loss to Riddick Bowe and a struggle with Bobby Czyz in the two previous fights.

Then of course we all know the ear-biting incident in the rematch with Holyfield in 1997.  It wasn’t even fair in 2002 against Lewis, as Tyson ceased to contend after the first round.  Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen had a better chance of eating than Tyson had of beating Lewis.

He lost these fights because he lost his intimidation.  In the end, Tyson was a one-dimensional fighter.  He attained his power from his confidence, but once that was gone so was he.  When Tyson attempted to stare down his opponents, they started glaring right back at him.  That is when he quit, a mark of a true champion.

He quit in three of the last four fights of his career.  The last coming to Kevin McBride, who was knocked out by a fighter who lost 17 of his last 18 bouts.  The intimidation didn’t work on McBride, just as it hadn’t worked on Danny Williams or Holyfield or Lewis.  When the intimidation isn’t there anymore, Tyson quits or bites.  McBride is lucky he is so tall.

In the end it’s a sad tale for Mike Tyson.  Actually no it’s not.  He is a biter more than a fighter and a quitter more than a champion.  He isn’t the greatest boxer, but he is one of life’s greatest losers.

One reply on “Every mama would say "Knock You Out-" Mike Tyson”

I’m a buffoon I goofed, sorry. In the fourth paragraph from the bottom, seized should be ceased. Sorry, caught the error after it was posted. Someone should knock me out, eh?

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